Sunday, May 25, 2008

Superhero Smackdown - Agility pt. 2

Here is the lower half of the Agility Bracket in round one.

6. Darkman Vs. 11. Superman 3

The classic camp Darkman, aka. Doctor Peyton Westlake (Liam Neeson) versus the bad, Red Kryptonite, Superman (Christopher Reeve) from the third film. There is nothing tougher then an all powerful Superman gone bad--but Darkman uses his cunning intellect and his synthetic skin to impersonate bad guy billionaire Webster's (Robert Vaughn) ditsy psychic nutritionist Lorelei Ambrosia (Pam Stephenson). This, of course, distracts Supes from his peanut flicking long enough for Dr. Westlake to hit him between the eyes with his Kryptonite knuckles. Darkman knows that he can't give this Superhuman alien any room to maneuver as he pummels the dark man of steel into a greasy pulp lying on the bar room floor.

Winner: Darkman

3. The Rocketeer Vs. 14. Supergirl

Cliff Secord's Rocketeer (Bill Campbell) Vs. The Man of Steel's cousin Supergirl (Helen Slater). Now the Rocketeer is just minding his own business trying to rid the world of some nasty Nazi's when this naive woman with Superpowers drops in on the action. Cliff is just annoyed he's just trying to save his girl Jenny (Jennifer Connelly) and this silly chick with red spandex comes flying along claiming to help but causing Cliff to drop Jenny. Luckily for him his scientist buddy Peevy (Alan Arkin) got his hands on the Omegahedron from that ditzy witch played by Faye Dunaway. Cliff books it just in time to save Jenny and deftly activates the Omegahedron as Peevy chants the ritual sending the pretty Supergirl into the Phantom Zone.

Winner: The Rocketeer

7. Daredevil Vs. 10. Swamp Thing

The blind Vigilante Matt Murdock AKA. Daredevil (Ben Affleck) doesn't like the smell of Dr. Aleck Holland (Ray Wise) AKA. The Swamp Thing (Dick Durock). The Swamp Thing while aided by the very pretty Adrienne Barbeau attempts to fling parts of his swampy mass at DD in an attempt to slow him down. Writer/Director Mark Steven Johnson's terrible Daredevil script is struggling against the cheesy prosthetics on Swamp Thing's face. Luckily the very hot and kick ass Elektra (Jennifer Garner) comes to save her blind boyfriend's bacon by taking out Barbeau and freeing DD from his slimy prison long enough for Daredevil to whip the Swamp Thing into a Peat Bog. Let's face it as bad as Daredevil is this first incarnation of the Swamp Thing was much worse.

Winner: Daredevil

2. Superman II Vs. 15. AVP Alien Vs. Predator

Superman (Christopher Reeve) has fought both Predator and Alien in the comic books but I think many fans would love to see him rock out fighting both of these creatures on the big screen. Superman just took out three of the toughest villains in the galaxy in General Zod (Terrence Stamp), Ursa (Sarah Douglas) and Non (Jack O'Halloran). But he's ready for more as he cracks his knuckles preparing for the tag team. Supes get's really angry when the Alien spits acid on his big S creating a hole in his uniform. He tosses the Alien up into space and explodes his ass in the atmosphere with his heat vision. The Predator uses his invisibility to shield himself from the Man of Steel but Supes has that pesky X-Ray vision and punches a hole right through his alien adversary. It's gonna take more than a crappy tie-in like AVP to defeat the Man of Steel when he's at the top of his game.

Winner: Superman II

Stay tuned in the next couple of days we will be showing you what happens in the next three brackets. We have Strength, Intellect and Endurance left to go in this first round.

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