As promised Cody and I have put together our rag tag bunch of heroes that we hope will someday, make it to the silver screen. Cody will also be featuring his list of new Cobra recruits in a solo post, very soon, but for now let's get to our new 6 for GI Joe 2!
Nicky Lee - Rank: Sergeant (E-5) Codename: Tunnel Rat (by Jeff)
This guy would be an interesting addition to the Joes given that he is not your typical big muscle bound hero that saves the day by charging headlong into a mess of Cobra forces. This is the guy they send in covertly either over the fence or, if Tunnel Rat had his way, under it. His primary job is explosive ordinance disposal, but he's also apparently a combat engineer. This is the guy who activates your plan B when plan A has gone to shit. He's short but don't let his height fool you he's wicked smart and he was trained by the best, the Rangers. Honestly I really don't have that much info about him, I don't really recall reading many of the comics with him involved in the storyline. Although I have extensive knowledge of his character from the G.I. Joe animated feature from the 80's. Tunnel Rat is of Asian descent and seems to have a knack for getting into trouble. He was sort of goofy, almost the class clown, which I think could work in the film but he would obviously need to be someone who can go from humorous to clutch handyman without much hesitation. I've thought about this one for a while and honestly I only have one good candidate, his name, Aaron Yoo. The guy has made the rounds in big movie fare from Disturbia, 21, Nick and Nora and Freddy Krueger. The guy can be genuinely funny without it turning into a caricature. But I do have a wildcard if they were intending to make Tunnel Rat a bit more of a badass guy who slinks through the tunnels and leads the dirty missions that other Joes may wish to avoid. Ian Anthony Dale, in my mind would be that guy. I've been watching the Event on NBC and I really like his secret double agent character. Not sure if the guy can bring the funny, but I would say that if you wanted to elevate Tunnel Rat to a more heroic leading role. Dale would probably be your guy.
Ian Anthony Dale
Aaron Yoo
Wayne R. Sneedon - Rank: Command Sergeant Major (E-9) Codename: Beach Head (by Jeff)
For some reason I have always had a deep affinity for this tough as nails drill Sergeant, not always sure why, although I always thought he just looked like a total badass with his green mask and bulging biceps. This is a guy you wouldn't want to cross, seriously, yes I know his mask was bright green but it worked. Beach Head is the guy who whips the Joes into shape, with drills and combat tactics. This guy is extremely smart and a excellent tactician. This is pretty well established on the G.I. Joe cartoon from the 80's. The comics implies that although he is a consummate professional he tends to have some contempt for Protocol. This is a guy who leaps headlong into a mission without much consultation with the higher ups, which apparently has hindered his ability to rise further in the ranks. Now for the film it would be tough for an actor to have to wear that mask the entire film, I mean you already have one Snake Eyes. I assume he would only wear it into battle, but the question is who could play this tough talking tough guy from the mean streets of Auburn, Alabama. If only Steve "Stone Cold" Austin were just a bit younger, he would be the perfect Beach Head. So my next thought would be someone slightly younger but still old enough to be a drill instructor and I came across Kevin Durand. The guy has made a habit out of playing slimy assholes, but there is no denying he's a bad ass. Watch his soldier of fortune on Lost and tell me that guy didn't make you almost wet your pants. But he can play a good guy too as displayed in Robin Hood next to Russell Crowe. I think the guy is deserving of a big screen action role and what better to play a no-nonsense Southerner in G.I. Joe. If you need an example of his Southern twang look no further than 3:10 to Yuma from a few years ago.
Lonzo R. Wilkinson - Rank: Sgt. Major (E-9) Codename: Stalker (by Jeff)
Stalker is technically the first Black G.I. Joe, he makes appearances in the original cartoon but is usually only there, unfortunately, to fill the color quotient. It was in the comics that Stalker was allowed to shine as a leader of the Joes and an effective and lethal member of this elite squad. In the comics he came up through the ranks with his best friend Snake-Eyes and makes it near the top as the second in command to General Hawk and is heavily involved in recruitment and dangerous missions. This high command diminishes once Duke takes over the squad but he is still integral in tough missions and is usually placed in the thick of it with his good buddy Snake-Eyes. Now if I had a time machine Carl Weathers in my mind would be the perfect Stalker but Carl is pushing into his late 60's so that ain't gonna work. Now there are quite a few guys I can think of that could pull off this tough guy from the streets of Detroit who turned from his life of hustling to join the U.S. Army. After doing a thorough search I feel pretty confident that Stalker would be best in the hands of Anthony Mackie. The guy can act and he's comfortable playing soldier from the Hurt Locker to Eagle Eye. He also has street cred playing Tupac Shakur and a tough boxer from Million Dollar Baby. Plus I can see him sporting the beret, not an easy feat for anyone.
Gung Ho, in a sense, is G.I. Joe, this guy just always seemed to me to be the face of the Joes a tough bruiser but kind and heroic. He's been a staple on the show and the comic book since the beginning. Used as the muscle and comic relief on the show ( no one apparently wanted to eat his Gumbo), but in the comic he isn't really given the storylines his character probably deserves. He's usually just part of the Joe squads, peppering the story arc with his humor. He is the first Marine on G.I. Joe and he deserves to play a role in the next G.I. Joe movie in a pivotal way. Now if Steve Austin could speak a cajun accent he also would be a perfect fit for Gung Ho, but again he's too old. Honestly I'm going to take a chance, this guy is a great actor, but I'm not entirely sure he can pull off a southern accent much less a Cajun one. But still he can fit the look, Tom Hardy. He played a great con man in Inception and an even greater bad ass loon in Bronson. But I think he could bring something interesting to Gung Ho. I mean the guy is going to be Bane in the next movie, so someone with some authority, other than me, thinks he can play a muscled bad ass.
Courtney Kreiger - Rank: Specialist (E-4) Codename: Cover Girl (by Cody) I felt strongly that we should have included Cover Girl in our original G.I. Joe Casting Call two years back, but it had already been decided that Jeff would take the Joes and I would take Cobra. And obviously, Cover Girl did not make Jeff's cut. I can understand why. Of the original three Joe ladies she never had the screen time of a Scarlett or a Lady Jaye who always seemed to be at the forefront, always involved in the most important, most exciting missions. Of course we all know why, don't we? It was because they were shacking up with their superior officers! Cover Girl was always her own woman, never tied down. She was brassy but flirtatious, often trading frisky barbs with Shipwreck or stealing a kiss from Duke (much to Scarlett’s chagrin). She was very much a guys gal, always more a part of the Joes' boys club, than ever really one of the girls.
What always intrigued me most about the character was that she was this absolute knockout who leaves the cosmopolitan world of fashion modeling to join an elite military force and drive a motherfucking tank instead. That is pretty badass. And I really don't care that the 2009 film features a character that, I GUESS, is supposed to be Cover Girl. She was played by real life supermodel Karolina Kurkova, who is super hot and super Czech, but super bad at acting. Like most of the characters in the ‘09 film, "Cover Girl" (w/air quotes) is completely mishandled. However, she's barely in the film and I'm not even sure she's ever referred to by her codename. So I say let's just pretend it never happened (like the movie as a whole). Let's reboot the character properly for the sequel. To do that we need an actress who is hot, very important, but she also needs to be tough, equally important. I think the perfect fit for the new Cover Girl would be Swedish model and actress Mini Anden, best known for playing Carina Miller, spy friend and C.A.T. Squad teammate of Yvonne Strahovski's Sarah Walker on the show CHUCK. Fans of the show can attest to Mini's badassedness. And the look, well... it speaks for itself:
Ronald W. Tadur - Rank: Corporal (E-4) Codename: Dusty (by Jeff)
When Cody and I discussed the possibility of revisiting the casting call for new Joes for the sequel the first name to come to my mind was Dusty, and it was partly after watching Channing Tatum's performance as Duke in the first film that inspired this thought. I kept thinking he really feels like he (Tatum) deserves to be on the Joe team, but just not as it's leader--I just couldn't see him leading these guys into battle. He certainly has the look of a soldier but he played him kind of naive and green which made me think, hmm, he really would have made a great Dusty. But of course, he can't be Dusty now that he's going to be Duke again, so we have to find someone else.
Now to give you some background on the character. Dusty was another favorite on the TV show he could be extremely naive in who he chooses to trust but the kid had heart and he was always the moral center of the Joes, he was always trying to do the right thing no matter what. Now in the comic book, Dusty gets some new specialties. Not only is he trained in Desert warfare he can speak Arabic and can be used as a tracker and survivalist in the extreme heat. Not to mention the guy can fix your air conditioner and your Fridge when it goes bust. No I'm not kidding you, he's an expert. It would be best to get someone who can pull off the inexperience without being annoying yet also be a skilled fighter and of course has to bring pathos and the moral perspective to the group. I do like Anton Yelchin for the role but he's played in so many pop culture films of this type, I think it may be time to give him a rest, also I'm not fully convinced even after he's played the young Reece from the last Terminator movies that he can someday be a badass, he's just too small. I think after careful consideration I'm going to go from the gut and go with Native Australian Liam Hemsworth for Dusty. He's a big kid, he looks posterboy Military but from the few roles I've seen of him, and they are few, he has an innocence about him that I think would work great for Dusty. Now he's mostly known, at least in this country, for doing Miley Cyrus and that movie of hers, but I think this could be his chance to get out of Miley's drunken shadow and his elder Brother Chris "Thor" Hemsworth by taking on a bad ass role equal to the mighty God of Thunder--Dusty.
GI Joe has been in the news recently as Paramount is gearing up to make a sequel to that POS that was released in 2009. I had hoped that after a little time had passed that they would rethink the approach and just reboot again but it seems like they'd rather take the lazy predictable approach and just continue forward with part 2. The first film boasted the worst casting I've seen in quite a long time.Obviously they didn't consult the Bucket and our casting call cause if they had I can guarantee the film would have been much better. Sienna Miller as the Baroness? Please. Marlon Wayans as Ripcord? You have got to be kidding me. The good news is that Stephen "Craptastic" Sommers has been booted from the second one, the bad news is that they hired that guy who directed the Justin Bieber movie. WTF? Director Jon Chu is also known for those Step Up Dance movies. I read an article where he said something like this, "Because of my background in dance and choreography, my love of movement. I can do a lot with an action movie." Right, they do move a lot in dance movies but that doesn't mean you can direct a hard charging military action flick. Although he did say GI Joe needed to be tougher and not kiddie, so he does have that going for him.
So what we are going to do is revisit the mistakes of the first film and what Chu and Paramount should do to at least try and fix the sequel since they are unwilling to start from the top. We are going to add 5 more new Joes to our casting call and 4 new Cobra characters. Cody is going to do a special new casting for one of his favorite Joes, Cover Girl, who was totally botched in the first film. So pay attention this time Paramount, Cody and I know what were talking about we know what makes GI Joe tick so if you truly want a successful and awesome GI Joe movie then you really need to listen to what were saying and make those changes, and hey you've got the best deal we're not gonna charge you a dime. It's a win win for all. (We'll be posting our picks over the next couple days)
The first film focused mainly on Duke (Channing Tatum) and Ripcord (Marlon Wayans) and those God awful accelerator suits. Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow were pretty cool but not in it enough. The romantic plots between Duke and the Baroness (Sienna Miller) and Ripcord and Scarlett (Rachel Nichols) was just god awful. Never have I seen so many pairs of mismatched people in my entire life. And of course Destro (Christopher Eccleston) and Cobra Commander (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) were just--painful. Especially after Cody put Eccleston down perfectly as Dr. Mindbender. He would have been a great one had they gone that route. He's not menacing enough to be Destro even with the helmet. And we're not even going to discuss General Hawk (Dennis Quaid), it just hurts to think about how horrible he was in the movie. So the question is what can we do to turn this shitfest around. Let's start with what they have done right so far. Getting rid of Sommers is a key step, that guy couldn't direct his way out of a paper bag. Adding the writers of Zombieland could be a good move. I did like that movie and thought it was well written and funny, but I'm not sure if that translates into a solid GI Joe action movie. They also are not asking back any of the original cast except for Duke, Storm Shadow and Snake Eyes. This is certainly an improvement but I hope it doesn't mean that there won't be a Cobra Commander, Destro, Baroness or a well rounded Joe team. I certainly don't trust Paramount with the keys so they are going to have to do quite a bit to convince me they are capable of making a kick ass GI Joe film.
Now in the original Casting Call for GI Joe I chose 8 of my favorites that I thought would be great in the film. Three and a half of those actually made it into the movie: Duke, Scarlett, Snake Eyes and technically Roadblock even though he was called Heavy Duty (Who was really just a Roadblock ripoff on the show anyway). (You can also check out the 8 Cobra's cast by Cody if you click right here.) I still stand by my call that Kevin McKidd would make a great Duke and Amy Adams would have been a really excellent Scarlett, but I doubt you could get her now since her asking price went up after the Oscars. I'm hopeful that they give Shipwreck a try for the next film since he didn't make it in the first one. Josh Holloway is perfect and he seems to need some work so help a guy out and get him for the next movie as Shipwreck. As for Flint and Lady Jaye, it could be overkill especially if you have Duke and Scarlett but I still think they would be great for any ensemble especially if you get Nathan Fillion as Flint and Morena Baccarin as Lady Jaye. They have such great chemistry together from their stint on Firefly that it would be a shame not to let them sizzle up the screen with their sexual tension.
What makes a great villain? Oftentimes the best villains are the ones that think they are actually heroes. These anti-heroes are always tripped up by the boy scout who has to be even more good, or weak, depending who you are talking to, sending these guys sulking and griping about how the greater good has been sullied and innocents will now surely die in large numbers. Well today on this Fourth of July we salute these misguided patriots. Sure their methods are despicable and slightly underhanded, but they care damnit! They are Americans and they will put a boot in your ass! So from all of us here at the bucket have a happy and safe Fourth of July!
5. President Charles Logan (Gregory Itzin) "24" - "This Whole Thing was meant to make our country safe, stronger. To protect our interests." -Sketch by Dezi Sienty
President Charles Logan always seemed to be an asshole even before you knew about his whole season 5 cover up conspiracy regarding the nerve gas. This guy is the worst kind of patriot he drapes himself in the flag as much as possible especially when he's up to no good. It's for the greater good he tells himself and his disbelieving wife. His spiral of bad intentions happens because of his own inability to man up and make the tough decisions on his own. To top that off the guy has a knack for trusting the wrong kind of people like his Chief of Staff Walt Cummings. After Jack puts the smack down on the former President he weakly begins to admit his culpability for the crime and becomes a born again Christian over the affair. It's unclear if he truly has learned his lesson, but that didn't stop him from being one of the most frustrating big bad's on 24. Gregory Itzin plays this guy to perfection, oozing contempt and weakness all at the same time.
4. Adrien Veidt aka. Ozymandias (Matthew Goode) "Watchmen"- "I've made myself feel every death...See every innocent face I've murdered to save humanity." - Sketch by Ori Ayalon
So you may be asking why him? Sure he's not a military man and he has a whiff of a British accent, how does he rank as a patriot gone bad? Well for starters Ozzy is an American, it's just Matthew Goode wasn't so adept at hiding his accent. Ozzy is thought to be the smartest man in the world and the combination of his smarts and fighting style make him a deadly adversary. He was once an acclaimed hero who is now totally obsessed with world peace. And if you've seen Watchmen then you know he'll do whatever it takes to get this peace even if it means murdering millions of people. Now I did consider putting the Comedian, Edward Blake, on the list. He of course represents the Ultra-Conservative hero to Ozzy's ultra-Liberal. This is the guy who wraps himself in the flag. The reason Blake ends up on the cutting room floor, he just ain't bad enough. As terrible as the Comedian is by the time the story is over we learn that he was actually trying to stop the crazy peace-nik from doing what he monologued he would do. Of all the villains on this list this guy is the only one to succeed in his dastardly plan. In the end Ozzy becomes the liberal stereotype, smug elitist asshole who looks down on humanity for it's perceived sins. With one exception, Ozzy ain't no pussy.
3. Brigadier General Francis X. Hummel, USMC (Ed Harris) "The Rock"- "You've made a terrible mistake, and more of our brothers have died in vain. Damn you for forcing me into this position." - Sketch by Corey Breen
General Frank Hummel, decorated war hero beloved by his men, betrayed by derelict politicos who were more interested in saving a buck than giving him support. He takes on a desperate mission to teach them a lesson about honor and duty and patriotism, unfortunately it kinda blows up in his face. It was always hard to think of this guy as a straight up villain and it is a little sad when they take him out, but at least he goes out on the side of righteousness. But his very bad ass break in to get the toxic nerve gas and later his assault on Alcatraz with a calculated strike team was pretty damn impressive. The man has brass ones that is for sure.
2. Captain Frank Ramsey (Gene Hackman) "Crimson Tide" -
"All I ask is that you keep up with me. If you can't then that strange sensation you'll be feeling in the seat of your pants will be my boot in your ass!" - Sketch by Ian Glaubinger
Crimson Tide is by far one of the most underrated Blockbusters in history. This flick gets no recognition. Script doctored by Quentin Tarantino and directed by Tony Scott. Yes, this would be implausible on a Nuclear Submarine but the disagreement is a good one to have with the public. Captain Ramsey is a good commander, he's arrogant and sarcastic but he follows the rules by the book. If he's told to launch Nuclear Missiles your damn sure he's going to do it without hesitation. His X-O Hunter, played by Denzel Washington is smarter and he understands full well the cause and effect of nuclear war. And he ain't budging from his point of view either. Their clash is almost biblical, but even though Ramsey is on the wrong side of history with this debate he surely demands your respect when he takes responsibility when he's wrong and owns up. Sure he's a bit of a bastard but he's a true American war hero.
1. Colonel Nathan R. Jessup (Jack Nicholson) "A Few Good Men" - "...I'm gonna rip the eyeballs out of your head and piss in your dead skull! You fucked with the wrong Marine!...You fuckin' people...you have no idea how to defend a nation. All you did was weaken a country today. You put people's lives in danger. Sweet dreams son."
Nothing and no one can top Jack Nicholson in this Oscar winning role as Colonel Nathan Jessup. It's truly hard to hate this guy, sure he's full of himself, he's a sexist SOB dripping with contempt. But highly quotable. It took me at least two hours mulling over quotes before I decided on the one above. There are so many, most are just funny as hell, all are biting and reveal a man of many layers. As his defense quickly shatters at the end of the movie, when wimpy sniveling Daniel Kaffe (Tom Cruise), appears to have finally snagged his white whale, the Colonel hits him with the ultimate guilt trip. He doesn't look away he stares at the young man with daggers in his eyes and he believes without a shadow of a doubt that his actions, while certainly immoral, somehow saved lives. He represents a cautionary tale to all those who serve in a war zone that Commanders must always remember who they are fighting and what they are fighting for.
It's a new year and everyone is breaking out the lists of the highs and lows of last year. Cody Dee and I thought long and hard about how we should sum up the year, and we had to agree that 2009 was kind of shitty. It was great to get a new President with a new direction but as a whole everything just seemed to follow the code of disaster. So in honor of this horrible feeling and to give credit where credit is due, keep checking back all month long as we unveil The Bucket's countdown of the Top Ten Worst People of 2009...
1). Bernie Madoff2009 was a rough year on many levels but a lot of the heartache and pain has swirled around one particular individual. This man has come to symbolize the culture of corporate greed and thievery. His trial revealed to us, the American public, that this cretinous man built trust with movie stars, banks, schools and charities and without their knowledge stole millions in what is called a Ponzi scheme. This scumbag named Bernie Madoff stole from celebs like director Steven Spielberg and Jeffrey Katzenberg. Now you steal from my favorite director I'm putting you on the list. But the reason this ass hole is number 1, the reason he will, God willing, be burning in a fiery pit of hell, because this guy ripped off millions from Holocaust survivors. Are you kidding me? Haven't these people suffered enough? And to have them manipulated in this way, especially considering that Madoff is a Jew himself. Double damned I say.
Madoff, of course, represents a larger problem in the way we do business. The government is not wholly without blame here as they had knowledge that this was taking place and did nothing to stop it from happening. At the time the market was good and they didn't want to fuck with it by bringing down a greedy ass bastard. They didn't realize that Madoff and the banks were basically doing the same damn thing the only difference is we, the public, now have a face and a name for their corruption. Perhaps the lesson here is we should get to know the CEO's of Bank of America, Citigroup, Goldman Sachs, JP. Morgan Chase and so on. Their power is, like in the Mafia, defined by their anonymity. We must change that fact soon, I fear there will be more Madoffs on our list for 2010. - Jeff
2). Joe LiebermanIt would be easy to put Joe Lieberman on the list based only on his predilection to stab Democrats in the back every chance he gets. But no, that would be self serving and wouldn't fully explain why he should be on the list. Honestly we should have known way back when he was a Vice Presidential Candidate in 2000 that there was something not right with the nasaly droning senator from Connecticut. While Gore was waging his war against Bush in the Florida recount. Joe Lieberman, with one interview, sunk the ship.
Now some defenders can say, but Joe, he is a principled man. So last year when the Health Care Bill was almost ready to pass in the Senate Joe decided to stand up again, to say maybe, I don't think so and then finally hell no, with a crooked boring grin. Principled my ass! Yes, Joe Lieberman the douchebag senator from Connecticut, decided that he would play politics with the health of 30 million Americans. The Democrats revealed their hand over and over compromising on everything just to get Lieberman's vote and he kept giving them hope and then promptly shoved the shiv into their backs, twisting it at every turn. If they got rid of the public option, he would be on board. Everyone cheered and they got rid of it. Lieberman said you know I still can't vote for it because of the Medicare buy-in. But Joe, earlier this year you were for the Medicare buy-in. But no, no, no these are different times now and we can't afford to help people.
I get it Joe, I really do, you aren't mad at the Democratic party for abandoning you in your election, forcing you to become an Independent. It's about power Joe, pure and simple, you have it and you like it a lot and you want to keep flaunting it as long as you can. The Republicans have no use for you if and when they take over the Senate in the fall, so might as well fuck with Democrats while they are still in control. Enjoy it pal, enjoy as the American people are crushed under the weight of medical bills and skyrocketing premiums and you can say, I did that. Thank you Joe Lieberman, thank you. -Jeff
3). Jeff Zucker, president & CEO of NBC Universal:
…but perhaps not for too much longer.
The man who tried to reinvent primetime television, but brought a network to the brink instead. He took NBC, once considered the Rolls Royce of the four major networks, and turned it into a used AMC Gremlin. Zucker was handed the reins of NBC television in 2004. Since then the network has declined from number one to dead last, as Zucker was unable to find suitable replacements for his predecessors' hit shows like Friends and ER (see: Joey and Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip).
But 2009 marked Fucker’s crowning achievement in his mission to subversively destroy a once great network from the inside out. He had the bright idea that he would raze all of the scripted, episodic fare from the 10pm timeslot and replace these shows with what was described at the time as a Jay Leno hosted variety show, but was really just the Tonight Show Lite. This plan was supposed to slash millions upon millions of dollars from the struggling network’s bottom line while providing the same solid lead in to the local 11 o’clock news and Conan O’Brien’s new Tonight Show at 11:35pm.
And as we all know now, it was a complete and utter disaster. Fucker’s big programming move created the biggest shit storm the network has ever endured. Leno’s prime time ratings crashed and burned and the network affiliates went ape shit since there was no audience hanging out when 11pm rolled around . Not too mention the hundreds, if not thousands, of actors, writers, directors, producers, and crew people who were unable to find work without the 260 hours of scripted television he cut.
I won’t continue with the circus that ensued in 2010, since we’re sticking with 2009, but… Mr. Jay Leno, you can consider this your notice - you selfish turd - the Bucket will see you next year on our List of the Top Ten Worst People of 2010. - Cody
4). Glenn Beck
Glenn Beck is an idiot. I am clearly not the first person to feel that way. And I won’t, by any means, be the last. But… he is an idiot. And beyond that just an awful, awful, indecent human being. Scum, if I had to describe Glenn Beck in one word.
Beck moved from HLN to Fox News in January of 2009. Now, Beck had always been regarded as a… well, I guess you could use the term comically irreverent conservative political pundit on his HLN and radio show, but God only knows what happened to the man seemingly over night once he switched his show to Fox News. It’s like a crazy switch got flipped in his brain. He started making completely erroneous claims like calling Barack Obama a racist (then contradicting his own statement 30 seconds later) and linking slavery to liberalism. He started pulling out chalk boards and making absurd, nonsensical lists, like his 9/12 Project - nine principles and twelve values that define what he considers to be the true American psyche. And as we’ve all seen by now, he started openly weeping regularly on national television.
The laundry list of crazy goes on and on. And it’s easy to laugh it all off, and call Beck a clown. But the scary part of all this is that there are a lot of people in this country who listen to Glenn Beck and take him seriously. They don’t see him for the buffoon he is - as a guy who will say or do just about anything, no matter how irresponsible or unfounded, as long as the ratings are up. These people graciously lap up every single bit of Beck’s soggy teabag.
But what makes Beck such a bad person is that he’s fully aware that the more he incites these folks with his insane rants and antics the more his ratings will go up. And he’s OK with that. It’s the worst kind of propaganda and hate mongering, because Beck has the audacity to mask it all behind a glass shield of “patriotism”. He’s a phony and a coward and it’s time people take a long, hard look at what a danger this guy has become. - Cody
I believe it was the great singer/songwriter and Tantric cocksman Sting who once said if you love somebody, pummel the ever-loving shit out of their face - or something like that, along those lines...
Chris Brown, formerly regarded as hip hop’s boy-next-door, “allegedly” took this advice to heart in the wee hours of February 7th, 2009, after a Grammy Awards party, when he “allegedly” took something beautiful and turned it into wadded up silly putty. He also “allegedly” tried to kick, literally KICK, his then girlfriend Rihanna out of his car, and “allegedly” fled the scene before the cops showed up. When the police did arrive they found Rihanna, battered and tattered, on the side of the road, still in her Grammy Awards gown.
Brown got away with probation and community service. And many were outraged that he did not spend one night in jail and thus did not deservedly have his pleasure doubled numerous times by his cellmate. - Cody
6.) Lou DobbsOh, Lou you just had to take your show to crazy town didn't you, and now you've lost it forever. There was a time, a few years ago, where Lou made salient points and he used his bull like theatrics to get to the truth. That time is gone. Over the past few years Lou has turned his quest to fix immigration into one giant angry xenophobic rant. Instead of trying to find honest and helpful solutions he has incited fear and anger toward Hispanics. To make matters worse he has seemingly embraced the directives of the Birther movement. If you are unfamiliar they are those dim-witted folks who are convinced that Obama was not born in this country, even though there is strong evidence to the contrary. So the funny part is after this knucklehead loses his show, mostly in part because of his crazy crusades. This fucking nimrod decides that his ideas are too hot for regular cable TV and that he has to channel them into possibly a run for office. Huh? Wha? Sure Lou you go and run for Congress. I would say don't let the door hit your ass on the way out, but I guess if that other loon Michelle Bachman can get elected then---oh, man -- yikes! Can we get Lou Dobbs deported?- Jeff
7.) Richard & Mayumi Heene
It truly pains me to waste additional world wide web space on these two royal douches. However, this list would not be complete without their inclusion. You know Richard and Mayumi Heene better as The Balloon Boy’s parents. That’s right, the hoax that transfixed America during a really, really slow news week in mid-October of 2009.
The Colorado Air National Guard, a swarm of police, fire and rescue forces and the country’s most prestigious news outlets frantically scrambled to the scene. The Denver airport was shut down, flights were diverted. It was nothing short of mass hysteria, with some newspapers estimating the total cost of the “rescue” effort at 2… MILLION dollars.
Richard and Mayumi Heene are truly the saddest sacks of shit I’ve ever heard of. If you care to check out their backstory (and I really hope you don’t) you’ll find that they have been complete and utter failures at every endeavor they’ve undertaken. In their 20s they wanted to be actors. And failed. Richard eventually took a stab at stand-up comedy. And failed. He then pitched himself as the host of a science based TV show for TLC. And failed. And as we all now know, they cooked up this ludicrous balloon plot in an effort to get a reality show… and FAILED.
But the resume of Richard and Mayumi Heene would not be complete without noting the most significant failure of their sad life together… they’ve failed as decent parents and role models to their three young sons. It’s hard to understand how this made sense to them. How they could think it was okay to burden a 6-year-old boy with a lie like that. I mean, the poor kid got tripped up by, of all people, Wolf Blitzer, the Tin Woodsman of on air news personalities.
Oh yeah, and the kid's name is Falcon, btw. So on top of everything else these two twats-for-parents have dumped on this kid ... he has to go through life named F A L C O N. What, did the Heenes' pull that one out of Sarah Palin's Big Ole Book of Wildlife Inspired Baby Names? - Cody
8.) Coach Mike LeachThis one just got in under the wire to be applicable for 2009 but it certainly was a doozy. Who is this guy Mike Leach you ask? He is, excuse me, was the football coach for Texas Tech. Late in December one of his players accused Leach of mistreatment. Redshirt sophomore Adam James was reportedly told to clean out equipment in the "darkest place" possible and he was not allowed to sit or lean on anything, and this was after the poor kid had sustained a serious concussion the day before. For three hours he was told to do this under threat that if he left he would be booted from the team. If that wasn't bad enough two days later, Leach felt he had been to soft with this kid, he decides to do it again but this time it was a dark tight electrical closet with a guard posted out front. I'm sorry what kind of a scumbag is this Leach? Well he obviously isn't a smart one cause, that kid he abused happen to also be the spawn of ESPN College Football Commentator Craig James. So what do you think Craig James did when he found out his kid's life was put in danger? Yeah, I was thinking maybe Leach should be put on the Celebrity Bucket of Dumb as well.
To make matters worse after the school decided to mildly punish their rock star coach by suspending him. Leach went on a tirade against the upper management, the kid and his family and everybody he could think of. The guy decides to get a lawyer and he basically sues the school, and he wonders why they fired his stupid ass. Now his former players are coming clean about the year from hell that was 2009. Apparently James was just the tip of the iceberg. Leach had been pulling this kind of crap all season long. It seems that James was the only one to actually stand up and say it to the public.
There is another factor here though that needs to be addressed, I'm gonna give Coach Leach some company on the list, the Texas Tech fans. Yeah, you heard me right! It's one thing to support your coach it's another to boo, curse and threaten a player on a team you root for. It's tacky and it's ignorant and it goes right up there with the Eagles fans pelting Santa with snowballs. Thankfully the Texas Tech team had more class then their fans as they all stood up for their teammate and friend at the same time they were respectful to their outgoing coach.
I'm not sure where Mike Leach will end up, but in the meantime, I think he needs to take a deep breath do some yoga take some anger management classes. Maybe a PR class or two, or three...-Jeff
9). Kanye West
It took bum rushing the stage during a dumb, pretty white girl's acceptance speech at a meaningless award show for this twisted, grotesque, egomaniac to get what he had coming to him for a long time... a FUCKING reality check, as the audience at the 2009 MTV VMAs booed his overexposed, overrated, and obnoxious ass off the stage.
But this guy has just been... such an awful person for such a long time, I can't understand how people not only put up with it for so long, but kind of respected it?? So, Kanye, I hope you've made a New Year's Resolution for 2010 to sit down, shut the fuck up, grow out those tramlines, and for God's sake never wear those ridiculous shutter shades again...
...oh, and tell kids who bought them because of you that they look like fucktards, too. - Cody __
10.) Oprah Winfrey"Unless you choose to do great things with it, it makes no difference how much you are rewarded, or how much power you have."Now some of you may object that I put Oprah Winfrey on this list. Yes I know the power of almighty Oprah. Let me first say that I don't think Oprah is evil and I think Oprah may not be a bad person. That being said, I do think Oprah is extremely reckless with the power she has obtained over the last 20 years or so. People think it's so great that Oprah buys cars, houses and other extravagant things for her fans. On the surface sure, it sounds great, she's a woman of the people. Did she pay the taxes for the car and the house she just gave you, are these things insured? Cause if she didn't that sure does suck for you in some cases these high priced gifts could cause you problems later when you have to pay the sales tax. We are in a deep recession after all. One of the things that has always irked me about her is that she seems to want to buy the people's love with fancy cars.
Last year Newsweek published a scathing article about Oprah and her predilection to promote bizarre medical cures from slightly crazy stars. Against the advice of real doctors she has put her considerable popularity behind strange health cures as sold by Suzanne Somers. Some of these so-called cures are not only just nutty they are dangerous. You would think someone of Oprah's vast resources that she would consult the best doctors in all fields before giving a person of Somers intellect a platform on her show promoting drugs she couldn't possibly have any real knowledge about. To make matters worse Oprah berated Doctors in their respected fields for challenging Somers and her crazy diet. Personally I respect Oprah and what she has achieved for herself over the years but it does appear that if you reach a certain pinnacle of power, who is to tell you are flat out wrong? Why Oprah of course. - Jeff
We had such a good time doing our Halloween top ten that we thought we would do another one! Christmas is upon us and we thought we would try to come up with the ultimate top ten list that, in our minds, embodies the true meaning of Christmas.
Now, lately it seems as if the networks aren't interested in playing the classic Christmas movies of old. I keep seeing these crappy Scrooge rip offs over and over on all of the various networks. Like Mrs. Scrooge, Ebenezer, A Diva's Christmas Carol, A Carol Christmas. (With Tori Spelling, need I say more?) Not to mention these vapid, crappy and sacchrine kid flicks that are so PC they make me want to vomit. Thankfully I got our artist friends over at Cave Drawing Ink to help us conceptulize those memorable Christmas flicks of old. You can see our top ten here on the Bucket and on the Cave Drawing Ink site. Enjoy and have a Happy Holiday!
So far......
2.) How the Grinch Stole Christmas
3,) A Christmas Story
4.) A Charlie Brown Christmas
5.) National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
6.) The Nightmare Before Christmas
7.) Scrooged
8.) Elf 9.) Santa Claus: the Movie 10.) Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer
1.) Alaistair Sim's Scrooge (1951) Jacob Marley: "It is required of every man that the spirit within him should walk abroad among his fellow men! If it goes forth in life, it is condemned to do so after death! It is doomed to wanted through the world! Oh, woe is me! And witness what it cannot share but MIGHT HAVE SHARED on Earth and turned to happiness!"
- Sketch by Corey Breen
Jeff: So here we are at number one! The immortal classic Scrooge, this 1951 Black and White film is by far the best version of a Christmas Carol period. Obviously there are other versions that are great fun but none capture the spirit of the Dickens novel quite like this one. Alaistair Sim is the perfect Scrooge he's grumpy as all of the others are but there is also something terrifying about him which I gathered was an important image derived from the book. He has those sunken eyes and he looks like death when he walks through the streets and pushes the kids out of the way. I wouldn't want to see that guy coming at me in a dark alley. The film also is exceptional in showing the travesty of poverty and the effect on average citizens who are forced to suffer in work houses or are brought under the thumb of the poor law. It is a particularly cruel place one that Scrooge relishes in as he makes his fortune. We get to see the full picture of Scrooge and his cold turn. The parallels between his Mother's death and his Sisters' and how the latter one spirals him into the terrible man we first see him as. It's a wonderful story of redemption and reconnection to the world of man. This film is not just a staple at my house it simply isn't Christmas until it has been watched.
Jen Huber: Alaistair Sim as Scrooge ha some fantastic facial expressions in this movie. The best come near the end when he is drunk with happiness and he ends up scaring the crap out of the housekeeper. There is truly something special about a good black and white movie. When Scrooge is visited by the ghost of Jacob Marley, the effects are so simple how they make him look ghostly, but it really works! This is such a classic story and even though there have been many remakes this one will forver stand out as one of the best all time.
We had such a good time doing our Halloween top ten that we thought we would do another one! Christmas is upon us and we thought we would try to come up with the ultimate top ten list that, in our minds, embodies the true meaning of Christmas.
Now, lately it seems as if the networks aren't interested in playing the classic Christmas movies of old. I keep seeing these crappy Scrooge rip offs over and over on all of the various networks. Like Mrs. Scrooge, Ebenezer, A Diva's Christmas Carol, A Carol Christmas. (With Tori Spelling, need I say more?) Not to mention these vapid, crappy and sacchrine kid flicks that are so PC they make me want to vomit. Thankfully I got our artist friends over at Cave Drawing Ink to help us conceptulize those memorable Christmas flicks of old. You can see our top ten here on the Bucket and on the Cave Drawing Ink site. Enjoy and have a Happy Holiday!
So far......
3,) A Christmas Story
4.) A Charlie Brown Christmas
5.) National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
6.) The Nightmare Before Christmas
7.) Scrooged
8.) Elf 9.) Santa Claus: the Movie 10.) Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer
2.) How the Grinch Stole Christmas Narrator (sings): "You're a vile one Mr. Grinch / You have termites in your smile / You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile / Mr. Gri-inch / Given the choice between the two of you. I'd take the uh...seasick Crocodile." - sketch by Ori Ayalon
Jen Huber: I have been watching this particular movie for as long as I can remember. I love the Grinch's dog especially when the Grinch goes to put the antlers on him and he tips over, so cute. I also love the image of the Grinch cutting the Roast Beast at the Who table. Cindy Lou Who is friggin adorable and the Grinch song is absolute classic. No more remakes-this movie is just too good.
Jeff: As classic as they come, perfect Dr. Seuss with the addition of the vocal talents of Mel Blanc how can you go wrong. It's short it's sweet and it wraps up a common thread that is at the heart of Christmas, that if it all goes away tomorrow, all the presents and pretty things, that the spirit of Christmas will soldier on regardless. That's the beauty of it and the reason the Grinch's heart grew ten sizes that day. Blanc's Grinch is deliciously evil as he slinks through the houses stocking up on Who Toys, even the Who Hash. This will always be a classic for every generation and every religion. Our artist Ori being the example to this rule, he's a Jew but he loves him some Grinch. This is required viewing for all, no exeptions. You can bet your Kan-tankers on that, my friend.
We had such a good time doing our Halloween top ten that we thought we would do another one! Christmas is upon us and we thought we would try to come up with the ultimate top ten list that, in our minds, embodies the true meaning of Christmas.
Now, lately it seems as if the networks aren't interested in playing the classic Christmas movies of old. I keep seeing these crappy Scrooge rip offs over and over on all of the various networks. Like Mrs. Scrooge, Ebenezer, A Diva's Christmas Carol, A Carol Christmas. (With Tori Spelling, need I say more?) Not to mention these vapid, crappy and sacchrine kid flicks that are so PC they make me want to vomit. Thankfully I got our artist friends over at Cave Drawing Ink to help us conceptulize those memorable Christmas flicks of old. You can see our top ten here on the Bucket and on the Cave Drawing Ink site. Enjoy and have a Happy Holiday!
So far......
4.) A Charlie Brown Christmas
5.) National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
6.) The Nightmare Before Christmas
7.) Scrooged
8.) Elf 9.) Santa Claus: the Movie 10.) Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer
3.) A Christmas Story Ralphie (as an adult): "Next to me in the blackness lay my oiled blue steel beauty. The greatest Christmas gift I had ever received, or would ever receive. Gradually, I drifted off to sleep, pringing ducks on the wing and getting off spectacular hip shots."
- Sketch by Nicolas Sienty
Jeff: It's amazing to me that many Christmas lists have excluded this film as one of their top choices. I find that strange on many levels one given that TBS has been playing the 24 hours of a Christmas Story every year for at least the last ten years. When the film was released it tanked terribly. Only after it found second life on TBS did it become hugely popular. I would like to think I was one of those who saw this in the late 80s that knew instantly that this was a Christmas classic. I can't remember the time that it wasn't so I'm gonna say I loved it before everyone else. Ralphie and his quest for a Red Rider BB gun and his hurdles to convince the Rents that he won't shoot his eye out. Darren McGavin is classic as the crochety dad and the kids are perfectly cast as we get a glimse of pre-WWII Indiana and the crazed quest for the perfect Christmas. If you have trouble finding this on TV or DVD then obviously you are living in a cave and have never heard of such things so there are no good excuses for you. If you are a Christian and you celebrate Christmas it's mandatory that you watch A Christmas Story.
Jen: I actually saw this movie for the very first time last Christmas (I know, I know - "how do you miss a movie that is on ALL the time at Christmas." You might ask...I get that a lot.) Everyone tells Ralphie that he will shoot his eye out with the BB gun he wants and when he finally get the gun for Christmas he does just that. Luckily his glasses protect his eye and a lie about a icicle protects him from his Mom. It's a cute story and Peter Billingsley is cute in it. I like the fact that the town is based on a town in Indiana (shout out to my home state!) I think every child can relate to Ralphie and his deep seated desires for Red Rider and his BB gun.
We had such a good time doing our Halloween top ten that we thought we would do another one! Christmas is upon us and we thought we would try to come up with the ultimate top ten list that, in our minds, embodies the true meaning of Christmas.
Now, lately it seems as if the networks aren't interested in playing the classic Christmas movies of old. I keep seeing these crappy Scrooge rip offs over and over on all of the various networks. Like Mrs. Scrooge, Ebenezer, A Diva's Christmas Carol, A Carol Christmas. (With Tori Spelling, need I say more?) Not to mention these vapid, crappy and sacchrine kid flicks that are so PC they make me want to vomit. Thankfully I got our artist friends over at Cave Drawing Ink to help us conceptulize those memorable Christmas flicks of old. You can see our top ten here on the Bucket and on the Cave Drawing Ink site. Enjoy and have a Happy Holiday!
So far......
5.) National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
6.) The Nightmare Before Christmas
7.) Scrooged
8.) Elf 9.) Santa Claus: the Movie 10.) Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer
4.) A Charlie Brown Christmas Charlie Brown: "Rats, nobody sent me a Christmas card today. I almost wish there wasn't a holiday season. I know nobody likes me. Why do we have to have a holiday season to emphasize it."
- Sketch by Nicolas Sienty
Jeff: I truly love this flick as a holiday film but it's the music that really does it for me. It's a
great jazzy Christmasy soundtrack that always gets me in the spirit. I don't really like listening to Christmas music but I have to admit I put this one on repeat quite a bit through the season. Poor Charlie Brown has grown so cynical about Christmas and what it means. It takes a little broken down tree and Linus to show him what it's all about. It's one of the few Christmas movies that actually tells us the story of why we celebrate in the first place. It's a great classic and should be viewed religiously every year, nuff said.
Jen Huber: Every Christmas I got out and look for the "Charlie Brown Christmas Tree". I somehow end up getting the most ugly, crooked tree I can find and I blame this picadillo squarely on Charlie Brown. I love the end of the movie where the kids sing by the tree with their heads turned upward and their mouths make the big O. In fact that scene is the most memorable for me. Charlie Brown is such a funny character but his downer attitude in this flick makes it much more appreciated.
We had such a good time doing our Halloween top ten that we thought we would do another one! Christmas is upon us and we thought we would try to come up with the ultimate top ten list that, in our minds, embodies the true meaning of Christmas.
Now, lately it seems as if the networks aren't interested in playing the classic Christmas movies of old. I keep seeing these crappy Scrooge rip offs over and over on all of the various networks. Like Mrs. Scrooge, Ebenezer, A Diva's Christmas Carol, A Carol Christmas. (With Tori Spelling, need I say more?) Not to mention these vapid, crappy and sacchrine kid flicks that are so PC they make me want to vomit. Thankfully I got our artist friends over at Cave Drawing Ink to help us conceptulize those memorable Christmas flicks of old. You can see our top ten here on the Bucket and on the Cave Drawing Ink site. Enjoy and have a Happy Holiday!
So far......
6.) The Nightmare Before Christmas
7.) Scrooged
8.) Elf 9.) Santa Claus: the Movie 10.) Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer
5.) National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation Clark: "Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fucking Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse." - Sketch by Dezi Sienty
Jeff: Clark W. Griswald certainly embodies the last true family man. He tries so hard to create the perfect holiday or vacation possible and almost never succeeds. We can all relate to the hell of bringing familes together for a few days over the holidays and all the chaos that ensues, but he makes it so damn funny, it allows us to breathe a collective sigh and say, "this was bad but at least it wasn't a Griswald Christmas." This has become a favorite of mine over the holidays and I highly recommend it. I truly feel it belongs a clear second to Vacation in the series. So whenever you feel overwhelmed with Christmas or you want to strangle a crazy uncle cause he set your tree on fire, just think of Clark and I promise you'll smile.
Jen Huber: I LOVE this movie. I start laughing from the moment that cartoon Santa arrives at the Griswold house until the very end. There are so many classic moments in this one but I think my favorite is the dinner scene with the whole family when the turkey ends up ruined and the cat gets electrocuted. I mean, could anything more go wrong during that dinner?! What a catastrophe! I love that Clark drinks his eggnog out of the Marty Moose mug (throwback to the original Vacation movie). Uncle Eddie really spices up the movie with his crazy antics and the Uncle Lewis and Aunt Bethany are so funny. This movie definitely brings together the spirit of family and holiday cheer.
We had such a good time doing our Halloween top ten that we thought we would do another one! Christmas is upon us and we thought we would try to come up with the ultimate top ten list that, in our minds, embodies the true meaning of Christmas.
Now, lately it seems as if the networks aren't interested in playing the classic Christmas movies of old. I keep seeing these crappy Scrooge rip offs over and over on all of the various networks. Like Mrs. Scrooge, Ebenezer, A Diva's Christmas Carol, A Carol Christmas. (With Tori Spelling, need I say more?) Not to mention these vapid, crappy and sacchrine kid flicks that are so PC they make me want to vomit. Thankfully I got our artist friends over at Cave Drawing Ink to help us conceptulize those memorable Christmas flicks of old. You can see our top ten here on the Bucket and on the Cave Drawing Ink site. Enjoy and have a Happy Holiday!
So far......
7.) Scrooged
8.) Elf 9.) Santa Claus: the Movie 10.) Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer
6.) The Nightmare Before Christmas Jack: (singing) "There's children throwing snowballs/ instead of throwing heads/ they're busy building toys/ and absolutely no one's dead."
- Sketch by Corey Breen
Jen Huber: I like this movie because it's different. It's so creative and the music is great! I like to throw it in my holiday lineup in November because it has a little Halloween and a little Christmas. It's the perfect gateway to Christmas movies. Is it just me or is that boogey man really scary?
Jeff: One of the greatest blends of two holidays that, frankly, would never look good together. Halloween, with it's ghouls and goblins and Christmas, with its red bows and festive cheer. Only someone like Tim Burton could mesh the two in a symphony of outrageous fun and that is certainly what this is. Jack Skellington's odd journey into Christmas town is a wonderful journey, with supreme stop motion animation that would make Rudolph and Hermey red with envy. Jack is the ultimate misfit and it's always a pleasure to watch him stumble through his new discovery. This one is always great to watch just after Thanksgiving but really if you haven't seen it yet this Christmas, get out there now and rent it before the store closes for Christmas.
We had such a good time doing our Halloween top ten that we thought we would do another one! Christmas is upon us and we thought we would try to come up with the ultimate top ten list that, in our minds, embodies the true meaning of Christmas.
Now, lately it seems as if the networks aren't interested in playing the classic Christmas movies of old. I keep seeing these crappy Scrooge rip offs over and over on all of the various networks. Like Mrs. Scrooge, Ebenezer, A Diva's Christmas Carol, A Carol Christmas. (With Tori Spelling, need I say more?) Not to mention these vapid, crappy and sacchrine kid flicks that are so PC they make me want to vomit. Thankfully I got our artist friends over at Cave Drawing Ink to help us conceptulize those memorable Christmas flicks of old. You can see our top ten here on the Bucket and on the Cave Drawing Ink site. Enjoy and have a Happy Holiday!
So far......
8.) Elf 9.) Santa Claus: the Movie 10.) Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer ________________________________________________________________ 7.) Scrooged Frank Cross: "The Jews taught me this great word. "Schmuck". I was a schmuck, and now I'm not a schmuck."
- Sketch by Ori Ayalon
Jeff: After the first few seconds of seeing fictional IBC's lineup at the beginning of the film I knew without hesitation that this was one of the funniest Christmas movies in a long time. The Night the Reindeer Died with Lee Majors, Bob Goulet's Old Fashioned Cajun Christmas and Father Loves Beaver, who can beat these wonderful titles? I just watched it again for the bajilionth time and, yes, on all cylinders it still holds up beautifully. Bill Murray is at top form playing cold hearted bastard Frank Cross, a tv exec, who is trying to put on a live version of Scrooge on Christmas Eve. Just like with all of the other Scrooge stories the main plot is the same. He is visited by three spirits from the Past, Present and Future. But these ghosts steal a large part of this show.
You have David Johansen, also known as Buster Poindexter as the Ghost of Christmas Past. His smart ass taxi driver from hell gets under Frank's skin in the best way. "Go Back to Jersey, you Moron!" Carol Kane is perfect as the masochistic Fairy who has to always remind Frank that sometimes the truth hurts, alot. She's got that airy fairy accent that is perceived as naive and then she turns around and uppercuts Frank with a toaster, classic. The last guy, doesn't speak--but--one of the funniest scenes is Frank thinking the Ghost of Christmas Future from the show is the real deal. "You think I'm afraid of you, the day I've had? I know what you came for. Come and get it, you pussy." This one always gives me a chuckle.
I know you have the old staples, It's a Wonderful Life, White Christmas, blah blah--but if you want a great holiday movie with a little message and a lot of laughs pop in this DVD I promise it won't disappoint. You can play a drinking game with your friends about how many times posters about Freeing South Africa appear in the movie, there are more than you think.
Jen Huber: Oh Bill Murray, you can be a comedic genius when you put your mind to it. I like that this one takes a modern look at the Christmas Carol story instead of trying to reinvent the wheel. I remember seeing this one for the first time on TV, no one else I was watching it with liked it but I saw the entertainment in the story. It's a showcase for Murray, and being a huge fan of his, I dig it.
I felt strongly that we should have included Cover Girl in our original G.I. Joe Casting Call two years back, but it had already been decided that Jeff would take the Joes and I would take Cobra. And obviously, Cover Girl did not make Jeff's cut. I can understand why. Of the original three Joe ladies she never had the screen time of a Scarlett or a Lady Jaye who always seemed to be at the forefront, always involved in the most important, most exciting missions. Of course we all know why, don't we? It was because they were shacking up with their superior officers! Cover Girl was always her own woman, never tied down. She was brassy but flirtatious, often trading frisky barbs with Shipwreck or stealing a kiss from Duke (much to Scarlett’s chagrin). She was very much a guys gal, always more a part of the Joes' boys club, than ever really one of the girls.
- Sketch by
