Saturday, October 31, 2009

The Top Ten Most Underrated Movie Villains - 2. The Frattellis

- Sketch by Ian Glaubinger

4). The Fratellis (The Goonies): “The only thing we serve here is tongue! You boys like tongue?”

Cody Dee Williams: Before we fell in love with The Sopranos, we fell in love with The Fratellis – Mama, Jake, and Francis. The Fratellis put the funk in dysfunctional, a family so warped and twisted that they keep their deformed hulk of a son/brother Sloth chained up in their basement. Yes, it’s a kid’s movie! Led by sociopathic matriarch Mama, played by the gifted character actress Anne Ramsey, with her two favorite boys by her side, dimwitted Jake (Robert Davi) and weasely Francis (Joey Pants), they viciously chase our heroes The Goonies through the cavernous maze of boobie traps and pit falls in search of One-Eyed Willie’s hidden treasure. Over the course of the movie, The Fratellis store a man they’ve murdered in their freezer, threaten to puree a fat kid’s hand, and make a tied-up young girl walk the plank. Yeah, they could use some serious family counseling.

Jen Huber: A scary bunch of characters if I've ever seen them! The epic movie that was the Goonies would not have had the fun it ending it did without the help of the Frattellis. With their scowls and all around bad behavior. They are a good group of foes for the Goonies on their big adventure. I think they are all individually terrifying and I absolutely wouldn't want to be stuck in an old abandoned house with them!

Scary? You haven't seen scary until you've seen Anne Ramsey's miserable bitch Mama Frattelli hard charging down a creepy tunnel grunting like a pissed off bull. Not to mention putting poor Chunk's hand in a blender in order to get him to talk. Her two boys Francis and Jake are a bit twisted sure and they are just plain terrible to their little bro Sloth, but neither one of them got nothing on Mama!

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