Monday, June 30, 2008

Superhero Smackdown: Round 2 Agility

Welcome to Round 2 of Superhero Smackdown!!!! It was quite the challenge to build a tournament with 64 hero flicks but the first round is finally over. We had a few surprises and a few blow outs but just like in the NCAA the second round gets just a little bit harder.

(Please click on the bracket to embiggen!!)

Agility Bracket

1. Spider-Man 2 Vs. 8. Constantine

Spidey (Tobey McGuire) got a bit of a rest after the quick win against Catwoman. So he decides to attend some classes, since he's been falling behind. John Constantine, (Keanu Reeves) takes a trip to the Big Apple and finds himself squaring off against the very formidable Doc Ock (Alfred Molina). Doc gets the jump on Constantine as he rips his driver Chas (Shia LeBeouf) out of the driver's seat and tears him in half with his metal arms. John shoots off a blast of Dragon's Breath, unfortunately Doc uses his arms to shield his face from the flame and then takes the weapon from him smashing it on the street. Constantine, weaponless, tries to talk his way out of the situation. Doc sees that Mr. Constantine is not much of an actor and decides not to give him the benefit of the doubt. He tosses him through a window on the 23rd floor of the Daily Bugle. Jameson is pissed screaming about that menance Spider-Man as Constantine dies of blood loss .

Winner: Spider-Man 2

4. Superman Returns Vs. 12. Howard the Duck

Howard the Duck (voice: Chip Zien), his human girlfriend Beverly (Lea Thompson), and his stupid sidekick Phil (Tim Robbins), are partying hard after Howard's big upset victory over the Crow. They start playing the annoying yet catchy theme song "Howard the Duck." Superman (Brandon Routh) happens to be flying by to catch the little ditty. He clutches his ears as the terrible song causes Supes to crash in on the party, accidentally killing Phil, Beverly and her little band. Howard gets pissed and tries to use a little Quack Fu on the Man of Steel. He breaks his beak and his flippers on the stone body. Supes brushes off the debris and uses his heat vision to make a little roast duck. Now he's got an entree for that nice candlelight dinner with Lois.

Winner: Superman Returns

3. The Rocketeer Vs. 6. Darkman

Cliff Secord (Bill Campbell) and Peevy (Alan Arkin) have just finished repairs on the Rocket after their last encounter with Supergirl. All of a sudden Peevy stands up and smiles sucker punches Secord and straps the rocket pack on his back. He rips off his face to reveal the scarred face of Peyton Westlake (Liam Neeson). He shouts out the name of his absent girlfriend Juuulie (Frances McDormand)! He shoots up into the air as he seems to be out of control. Westlake is not quite stable anymore after his accident. Secord takes to the skies in his bi-plane to catch the crazy Doc. He leaps onto Westlake as the two duke it out 10,000 feet in the air. Secord wrenches the rocket pack away as the crazy Doctor Westlake screams "JUUUUUULie!" all the way to a gruesome end.

Winner: The Rocketeer

2. Superman 2 Vs. 7. Dardevil

Superman (Christopher Reeve), General Zod (Terrence Stamp), Ursa (Sarah Douglas) and Non (Jack O'Halloran) duke it out over the city when they spot a man and a woman fighting in a playground. The fighting seems so staged and goofy that it infuriates Zod. He commands his disciples, "Finish Them!" Zod keeps Supes busy while Ursa rips the woman known as Elektra's (Jennifer Garner) sai's from her grip and stabs her through the heart with them. Non grabs Daredevil's (Ben Affleck) staff and accidentally rips the man's arms out. Daredevil screams in pain as Non moves in for the kill. Lucky for Daredevil, Supes has finished off Zod and gets his mitts on Non before he can crush Matt Murdock. Supes throws Non across the globe and rushes Murdock to the hospital. What a guy!

Winner: Superman 2

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