TV: Cable Rules the Summer and HBO is the King

This summer has turned into a blockbuster summer for movies at the Cineplex, with solid opening numbers from X-Men 3 (102.8 million), The Da Vinci Code (77.1 million), Ice Age: The Meltdown (68 million), Cars (60.1 million) Superman Returns (52.6 million) and of course Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest, which made a whopping 132 million this past weekend beating out Spider-Man from 2002. What that means is that people, hopefully, are going back to the theatre and not sitting on their lazy asses drinking the Kool-Aid. This is the summer of the Giant Blockbusters TV people, so WATCH OUT!! -- But on the other hand if you do find yourself lazying around the house on a Sunday evening I suggest you watch the best lineup Cable TV has to offer. Now I know my last post was about Blade: The Series and I still recommend you watch it on Wednesday nights at 10 pm on Spike TV, but I have a few other shows that I think everyone over the age of fifteen should be watching regularly this summer.

The first is Deadwood which aires on HBO at 9pm on Sunday night. If you muddled your way through it last season then I commend you for sticking around cause season 3 has been fun. Last year I was constantly confused by Al Swearengen (Ian McShane) and his strange relationship with that other town of Yankton, and the politics therein, of course Al's volatile relationship with town sheriff Seth Bullock (Timothy Olyphant) made things entertaining. I think the worst part about the show last season other than the Shakespearean speak that caused me to rewind my DVR, was friggin E.B. Farnum (William Sanderson). He was very funny the first season but he kind of went nutty in the second season and talked to himself and his strange servant Richardson (Ralph Richeson), a bit too much. This year has been much better with the arrival of the flamboyant theatre group led by John Langrish (Brian Cox). Also I have enjoyed the bulldog businessman George Hearst (Gerald McRaney); obviously he must be a direct descendant of William Randolph. Which would explain the hardball tactics and dirty pool the man keeps trying to play with Bullock and Swearengen. Personally I'm just happy to see Major Dad is still working. Deadwood is growing and the political maneuvering gets tougher and tougher and after seeing just three episodes this season I have to say, I enjoyed every foul mouthed, backstabbing, soap challenged lot of them.

The absolute best show on HBO has to be Entourage, which aires Sunday nights at 10pm. This is the third season of the Hollywood based show and it just keeps getting better and better. Now maybe you have to have an understanding of the film and celebrity world to fully understand the Hollywood in-jokes, but honestly unless you are totally clueless like my wife is about movies and super stardom than you should be able to turn your brain off and follow this show with ease. Between the break out star Vinnie Chase, Aquaman, (Adrien Greenier) and his best friends from childhood Eric (Kevin Connolly), Johnny Drama (Kevin Dillon) and Turtle (Jerry Ferrrara) you end up with a great comedy about the difficulties of keeping your friendships without letting it get in the way with your career and of course you see the lifestyle that these guys are living in. I know I'm married and everything, but the women on this show--Damn!--Sorry baby, but I have to say it again --Damn! It's a smart and funny show that doesn't take itself too seriously but also shows some of the petty crap that goes into making movies. Of course this show couldn't be complete without the funniest mo'fo on this show Mr. Ari Gold (Jeremy "Let's Hug it Out, Bitch" Piven), the agent to the stars. Ari brings the Hollywood superficiality to a new level, he's shameless at all times, he's crass and he never stops kissing ass and we wouldn't have him any other way.

The third show and I think it needs some time to ferment before it can be considered a bona-fide hit is Lucky Louie which aires at 10:30 pm on Sunday. This is the first sitcom with a live studio audience that has nudity, cursing and any other raunchy thing you can't normally do on a live sitcom. Louie, (Louis C.K.) works at a muffler shop and lives in a crappy tenement building. The formula is kind of like Men Behaving Badly with a dose of the Flintstones and the Honeymooners. Louie's crabby wife Kim, (Pamela Adlon) works as a nurse and constantly tries to straighten out her jackass husband. So far there have been a few chuckles, but other than the shocking lude content it hasn't really caught on with me. I'll give it some time, the cast is pretty good and I think it has potential, so we'll see where this one goes.

So check out these shows and if for some reason you don't have HBO--There is always ON- DEMAND.

TV: Blade: The Series - Some Bite, Lots of Skin

If you are like Cody and enjoy reality shows then you have Treasure Hunters, The Real World vs. Road Rules and yet another stupid challenge, there is My Fair Brady and now My Fair Brady: We're Getting Married, about the has been middle child of that annoying show we all know and love, the Brady Bunch. Why anyone would care about this middle-aged guy and the stupid hot model he is about to marry is anyone's guess but if I had a choice between that crap and Blade? -- I'm sticking with Mr. Sticky Fingaz.

Blade: The Series is in the similar vein as the three Blade films except that Blade is now played by Kirk "Sticky Fingaz" Jones. You might remember him as one of the lead rappers from the group Onyx, from the early 90's. This series started out with all the normal clichés regarding vampires, Blade hunts them down with Spock like efficiency. The Vamps have their different houses just like in the films. I'm not that impressed with the basic plot about Vampires trying to find cures for their aversion to garlic, sunlight and stakes, nor in the humorless, emotionless almost boring Blade. But after watching the second episode yesterday I find myself more intrigued with the main villain of the story Marcus Van Sciver (Neil Jackson) and the beautiful Krista (Jill Wagner) who has infiltrated the Vampire house of Cthon at Blade’s request. This angle is a little different from most vampire driven stories; it actually could be similar to the film Interview With a Vampire. It explores the vampire lifestyle beyond the monster status. The angle here which is also interesting is that Van Sciver, in his public life, is a humanitarian and is attempting to save the city of Detroit. They kind of push the Vampires as mafia a little bit more, this guy is like a British Tony Soprano. The series was written by Geoff Johns (Green Lantern, Infinite Crisis) and David Goyer who wrote all of the Blade films and directed the last one. He also wrote Batman Begins. Geoff Johns, by trade, is a comics writer getting a chance to write for TV, and for all of you comic geeks out there I'm gonna drop a little knowledge on you. Johns borrowed the name Van Sciver from a close friend and one of the more popular artists at DC comics, Ethan Van Sciver. Take a look at the reviews, most are unkind, but I believe there is a nugget or two of value in this new series. Its fun, the women are hot and you get to see a new kind of illegal street drug called ash, which if you hadn't already guessed, is the remains of fallen vampires that humans snort to have temporary vampire like powers.

So if you are like me and don't think much of Reality shows then check out Blade: the Series on Spike TV at 10pm on Wednesday night. If you can't catch it on Wednesday they replay the last episode on Friday night at 11:00pm.

COMICS: The Identity Crisis for the Webslinger is Over...

...Or is it just beginning? For the past forty plus years Ole Peter Parker has enjoyed the freedom of his secret identity. If things got too hot for Spidey, then Peter would just put him away in his sock drawer, unfortunately he doesn't have that luxury anymore. The second issue of Civil War ends with Spidey unmasking revealing to the world that he is Peter Parker. The after effects of this event can be read on the pages of Amazing Spider-Man, issue 533. I read the Civil War issue as well as ASM 533 and I'm pretty undecided on whether this unmasking is such a good idea.

The stakes have been raised; Spidey/Peter is now more vulnerable than ever. His wife, his aunt and his friends (that aren't supers) are all at risk. This is how Spidey's life is anyway, so I think it's great that they are giving him real issues to deal with; and as everyone knows the best stories about Spidey are when he is in considerable danger. Ironically this will mirror his counterpart from the pages of Ultimate Spider-Man; every villain in that book seems to know who Spidey is anyway. I think you'll be able to complicate the swimming pool better now that villains like Doc Ock, Electro, Vulture, Scorpion, Chameleon, Hydro Man and not to mention his greatest rival J. Jonah Jameson who practically had an aneurism as he was watching the unmasking unfold on television. The part I think I am enjoying the most is the reaction from Norman Osborn the original Green Goblin; he was pissed when he found out saying that Peter was breaking the rules, interesting. Norman of course has known for years that Peter is Spider-Man and he has held Peter's head to the fire by threatening to expose his secret. I can't wait for this battle royal between Gobby and Spidey. I can already see that they are going to be putting the screws to Spidey very soon, especially if you've seen that cover of Spidey getting thrashed by all of his worst villains. I say bring on the blood.

On the other hand this revelation could also be the beginning of the end for this most beloved Marvel superhero. Spider-Man, Peter Parker's ability to be a phenomenon in public as a masked superhero at the same time, when the mask comes off, a mild mannered, broke photographer who could hardly be noticed by anyone. This everyman quality is what makes Spider-Man so endearing, this is how he is relatable to you and me. He does his own laundry, he sometimes cannot pay his rent, and he struggles like many of us just to get by in New York besides fighting super villains that want to kill him. Look at him now, he's an Avenger and he gets free room and board at the luxurious Avengers Tower. Now that he has revealed who he is, his life may be more at risk, but that means he is now an official celebrity with and without the mask. So his everyman status has now been revoked. Sure he may have newer more complex problems with his assorted villains, but there is another thing that was so great about Spidey that has been totally forgotten. His Loner Status. This guy has never had a stupid kid sidekick, he may have been the kid his entire career but he never played second fiddle to any hero I've ever seen, until now. Spidey has been adopted by Tony Stark (Iron Man) and he tends to call him boss, this is not a good sign. Spidey has teamed up with many heroes over the years but until recently he has never officially been on a team. That's what gives him that charm of one man with his back against the wall, who has to fight everyone by himself. This is Spider-Man at his finest and it doesn't look like we will be seeing that Spidey anytime soon, or maybe ever again.

TV: Cruel Summer

Ah yes! It's that time of year again... the daisies are in bloom, the swallows are returning to Capostrano, and the caked fecal matter on subway bums' loins smells extra shitty! Yes, friends, it's summer time. And with all that aforementioned good stuff comes the most fantasmagoriffic thing of all.... IT'S SUMMER REALITY TV SEASON!!!!!!!

And this summer, we have so much to be thankful for. The return of Big Brother... SEVEN, by the way. Which bestows the honor upon us of being the first All Star edition of Big Brother. Inevitably, making itself the most KICK ASS edition of Big Brother EVER!!!! But, alas, we all must wait until 7/6/06 to experience the ever lovin’, all star splendor of it all.

And then there is the return of the The Contender. The Sly Stallone, Suga’ Ray, Mark Burnett reality boxing masterpiece that never quite found an audience last season on NBC. But, for my money, was, bar-none, the best reality TV series of last fall. Thank heavens the ESPN gods sought fit to give the show another shot. Just goes to show you that every time you get knocked down, you gotsta get back up! Get it (insert cheeky wink)?

But the first, and quite possibly the best on my list of summer reality hits (sorry So You Think You Can Dance) is TREASURE HUNTERS! Yes, Treasure Hunters. With it's completely wooden toolbox of a host. What the f*** is his name anyway? And it's completely unoriginal premise. If you haven’t seen it, the show is basically a total bite off of Amazing Race, The Da Vinci Code, and National Treasure. In the first episode, 2 groups of 5 teams of 3 start off from different ends of the world, only to meet up in... VIRGINIA(?). Already confused? So am I. Anyway, after the two groups of teams meet up, they begin competing against each other to solve clues that ultimately lead to the discovery of an “artifact”. The “artifacts” the teams find will ultimately lead to a treasure. The treasure is... something that us, the audience, and, it seems, the producers of the show have absolutely no idea what it is. But... IT'S A TREASURE... that's for sure!

Anyway, so far, the stand-outs of show have got to be The Wild Hanlons, The Fogels, and the The Brown Family. The Wild Hanlons are basically the two mountain dudes from Deliverance along with their much more intelligent, much younger and keener protégé. The Fogels are a family trio of bible thumping morons from Orange County (yes, The OC) who have positioned themselves to appear as the biggest religious hypocrites to have ever appeared on TV since Jim and Tammy Faye Baker. And the Browns (God bless ‘em) are three fat, black brothers who have a no quit attitude and hearts the size to match their guts. Kudos to you, Brown Family, for keeping it real and I wish you all the best! God knows I will be watching, as should all of you. Treasure Hunters is my pick for the reality TV show of Summer ‘06.

SPORTS: Yankee Superman Returns

Last nights game at Yankee Stadium against the Mets was almost like a comic book adventure; of course this depends on your point of view, if you are a Mets fan it is something else entirely. The Yankees started late last night due to rain. Jaret Wright, who has pitched pretty well in his last two starts, took the mound. In the second inning the guy imploded allowing four runs and just four outs before Joe Torre yanked him from the game. Ron Villone filled in and got the Yanks out of the inning without anymore damage. The Mets starter Alay Soler allowed a solo homerun at the bottom of the second from Jorge Posada. Jorge got the blood pumping back in the Yanks to set up for the bottom of the third when the Mets awoke a sleeping giant.

The bases were loaded Alex Rodriguez stepped up to the plate, he took a couple of pitches and then creamed a slider into the bleachers. Superman was so ecstatic that he admired it a little longer than usual, personally I don't think he was boasting or being an asshole, I think it was just such a good thing and he had such a terrible June that he had to enjoy it. Apparently Mets catcher Paul Lo Duca shared his resentment with A-Rod after he crossed home plate. Giambi looked as if he was going to start something but thankfully cooler heads prevailed. I do understand Lo Duca's frustration, I know I hate it when Manny Ramirez, from Boston, admires his home runs a bit too long, but I think this was just a misunderstanding. Rodriguez has been slumping for a while and he really needed this, the fans have been total jackasses to him, of course the irony is as soon as he jacked the grand slam everyone started chanting A-Rod again like he never slumped before. But A-Rod wasn't finished there he had a single and yet another homerun bringing in three more runs in the fifth inning. Its A-Rod unleashed.

Ron Villone put in great relief pitching three innings and only allowing one run. Villone gets the big W as the relief staff saves the game, with good stuff from T.J. Beam, Mike Myers and Scott Proctor. By the end of the third inning the Yankees had scored eight runs making the score Yankees 9, Mets 4. I can't forget the help from the Yankees replacement 2nd basement either, Nick Green. He belted a two run blast helping to extend the lead in the third. The hurt on the Mets continued as the Yanks rolled into the fourth inning scoring four more runs. The final score was 16-7, even though it was nice to win so decisively it would have been even better to have held the Mets a little more. As great as the Yankees played, the Mets still had seven runs, not to mention the four big ones that Jaret Wright gave up in the second. It's nice to have days where the hitting is so good that pitching takes a back seat, but those games are rare. The Yankees have got to start putting together a better pitching arsenal, otherwise they might consider changing their strategy, cause as much as I appreciate what Superman Rodriguez has done for this ball club last night, it might not be enough to get the Yanks to the post season. It's called the Boston Red Sox pitching and, forgive the pun, they might just bring the Kryptonite to squash any hope of a World Series. That my friends would make it a different kind of story, it’s called a tragedy.