Sunday, October 26, 2008

Celebrity Bucket o' Dumb: The McCain Campaign

Cody and I have made an effort not to interject our politics on Troy's Bucket. But by doing so we have found that we have missed out on some hilariously stupid shit that has been thrown out to the public during this campaign season. So we figured if the New York Times, NY Post, Washington Times and Washington Post can endorse a Presidential hopeful, why the hell can't we. We have to do it in our own way and as you might have noticed, given the title, that we at Troy's Bucket strongly endorse Senator Barack Obama.Yes I give this Celebrity Bucket o Dumb to the McCain campaign for their hilarious roller coaster ride from about May right on up to the end of October, and I'm sure there will be much more to come after I write this post. It is obvious at this late date in campaign season that John McCain is an angry old man yelling at the clouds. Now before I get into the stupid tricks of the McCain campaign I am compelled to say that I do not think ill of John McCain personally, and there was a time where I thought the guy had more going on upstairs. That all has changed since becoming the Republican front runner. Mr. McCain has decided to run for President without having any new plans to offer us the American people. So instead he has decided to be as ridiculous as possible in the hope that we either A. Don't notice B. feel bad for the guy and give him a sympathy vote or the worse one C. Attempt to bring Obama's postives so low that McCain somehow becomes the only choice.Early in the campaign McCain started with this simple phrase, "Barack Obama is not experienced enough to be President." Simple and easy to understand, but didn't work. Then he decided to up the ante and say that Obama will raise your taxes--which is not true, but it is a stalwart Republican tactic. At this point there was no mention of crazy preachers and washed up 60's radicals. He put out silly ads about Obama being a celebrity like Paris Hilton and Britany Spears. McCain and Bushie tagged team Obama for being an appeaser to Terrorists like Neville Chamberlain was to the Nazis (There is more to this particular event than this, but if you want more, check out the Best clip of the day from a few weeks ago with Chris Matthews). This charge was extremely silly considering a week or two later Bush started talking to the Iranians in the same way Obama had been suggesting.In August we got the Rah Rah of convention season. Obama picked Biden and McCain picked Sarah Palin. When we got Palinized during the Republican Convention, in my opinion, is when the Straight Talk Express started to come off the rails. McCain had the option of a Lieberman (although boring, definitely qualified), Ridge (again a bit stiff, but certainly qualified) or Romney (as boorish as John Kerry, has magic underwear, but still more qualified than Palin) but he went with the lady from Alaska, who claims her experience in foreign policy is based on the fact that she can see Russia from her house. We learned that she can read a speech with vigor but when asked questions on the spot it is abundantly clear that she doesn't have a free floating thought in her noggin. I won't go so far as to call her stupid but, just the other day, after three months she still cannot answer this simple question., "What does a VP do?" This is what the Governor said:

"A Vice President has a really great job, because not only are they there to support the President agenda, they're like a team member, the teammate to that President. But also, they're in charge of the United States Senate, so if they want to they can really get in there with the Senators and make a lot of good policy changes that will make life better for Brandon and his family and his classroom."

According to the Constititution the VP is not in charge of the Senate and most importantly the VP cannot get in there with the Senators and make policy changes. The VP has one role "Preside" over the Senate and vote only when a tie break is needed, otherwise it is very clear in the Constitution that the VP does not have a vote!!!

Sarah Palin, Rep. Michelle Bachmann, Joe McCain (Brother to John) and Rep. Robin Hayes have in the last few weeks invoked the mantra you are either with us or you are against America. Palin seems to think that small towns in the south and mid-west are the only "real" towns in America. Big towns aren't pro American like the small towns. Ms. Bachmann of Minnesota thinks that if you are a liberal then you are anti-american and the media should investigate you if you question Republican authority. What a novel approach to governing, but honestly that's just the funny stuff. McCain has suggested that Obama wants to teach the naughty talk about the birds and bees to kindergartners. That Obama favors killing newborn babies, that he has betrayed the troops because he, according to McCain, doesn't want to win the war in Iraq. And of course everyone's favorite that Mrs. Alaska keeps bringing up about Obama palling around with terrorists. Egads people, I think McCain should just stick to his line about Liberals raising taxes and all of this Joe the Plumber nonsense. Cause honestly, calling your opponent an anti-american socialist who palls with terrorists who kills babies would suggest that this person is dangerous. But McCain at a rally said that Obama is a good family man and that people shouldn't be afraid of his presidentcy. So if he, according to you Senator, isn't a dangerous commie terrorist then why the hell do you and the people around you keep implying this? Is it because you have nothing of real importance to bring to this election?Which brings us back to the fundamental reason why Senator McCain has earned his bucket o' dumb. He has run for the highest office in the land, after 30 years in the senate, after a exemplary military record only to offer the American people------crickets-----NOTHING!!! Absolutely nothing, no plan no ideas, just don't vote for the supposed Black commie terrorist guy who, may or may not be an American. Fear, senator, all you have brought is division and fear. And on top of that we are in the middle of a financial crisis and you expect the American people to elect someone who has been on the record as saying things like, "I don't understand the economy," and "The Fundamentals of our economy are strong," right after the economy tanked.

Should the American People choose not to elect you president Senator McCain. Please take a little trip to New Jersey, come and see us, and we will personally give you the trophy that is on the mantle place of some esteemed colleagues of yours, people like The Nuge, Britany Spears and Neil Diamond. I know it's not the White House but at least it's shiny. You can put it in that fifth house of yours in Boca. I think it will compliment the room just fine.

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