Sunday, September 09, 2007

CASTING CALL: He-Man and The Master of the Universe


Since the success of TRANSFORMERS this summer, there has been a plethora of rumors and rumblings of other potential 80's cartoons-turned-feature film projects in development. Thundercats, G.I. Joe, Voltron; all great cartoons from my childhood, and all have great potential to be kick ass live action features. But the one I'd have to say that I am excited about the most is HE-MAN and THE MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE. Sure, they tried to pull it off in the 80's with Dolph Lundgren, Frank Langella, and Courtney Cox. And while I will admit I do own it on DVD and do harbor a certain affinity for it, the Gary Goddard directed 1987 feature is extremely cheesy and low tech. I can only imagine what a mushroom cloud budget and the right director could do to re-envision such a badass cartoon.

It is no secret that many big shot, Hollywood, heavyweights frequent The Bucket often. And as New York's former most powerful casting assistant, I thought I'd weigh in, throw my two cents into the development fountain, and post my CASTING CALL for the live action version of HE-MAN and THE MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE.


HE-MAN:

He-Man always kind of looked like Barbie's boyfriend Ken on HGH. I think it's very important that his look be updated for a new generation. Less of a pretty boy and more of a bad ass. With that said, here are my top three casting choices for the role of He-Man:

Gerard Butler. Sure it's a bit of type casting, after THE 300. But there's only a handful of interesting actors that are physically appropriate to play the role. He's big. He's scary. And he's a decent actor. Make him an offer!

















Eric Bana. A brunette He-Man? Why the hell not? They made James Bond blonde. Another guy who is physically imposing enough to pull it off, and he can act. Played a warrior already in TROY... I don't care, come up with a better idea.























Josh Harnett. I know. Seems like a really bad idea on paper. But he's 6'3", has the chisled chin thing going for him, and he's almost a movie star. Have him pack on 20lbs of muscle or so, I think he could be an interesting way to go.











SKELETOR:




















Frank Langella was a fucking badass as Skeletor in the 1987 feature film. And hell, if Frank wasn't pushing 70, I'd say let him put on that cheesy latex mask again. Casting old skull head is a bit of a tough one, because you're looking strictly at performance, and not so much appearance. The actor who plays Skeletor has to be able to deliver alot of emotion from behind a mask. That being said, here are a few that I think could pull it off:










Alan Rickman. One of the best bad guys ever! Such a great actor, such a great voice. Hans Gruber, The Sheriff of Nottingham, Severus Snape... SKELETOR!!!















Jason Isaacs. A great second choice, if Rickman passes (Which he would). Can bring all the same qualities as Rickman, but can also offer more in terms of physicality.









Michael Keaton. Another oddball choice. But if you think about it, it could be a fun idea. A different way to go. Keaton hasn't played a great bad guy, since Beetlejuice. I think he could chew this role up and spit it out.















MAN-AT-ARMS:
He-Man's trusty right hand man and Teela's father. Always the faithful soldier, Man-At-Arms needs to be somebody who plays a rough military type, but also has a paternal quality. So here are some thoughts:















Sean Bean. Always plays a bad guy, but I think it's time for him to show he can play good guys as well. Always brings a great edge to his characters, but also a soul.



















Kurt Russell. The original badass. Has played some great roughnecks throughout his career, he's almost too perfect for the role.










TEELA:

















The actress who plays TEELA needs to possess alot of qualities. She needs to be athletic, she needs to be edgy, but most importantly she needs to be HOT. Like really, really hot. And look really, really smoking in a gold bikini. Guys, tell me I'm wrong when I pitch the following three:








Jessica Biel. They don't get much hotter than her. And I know we put her on every CASTING CALL post we do, but as soon as she stops being hot, The Bucket will stop putting her on lists. They say she has the best body in Hollywood, so who better for the role of Teela?














Kate Beckinsale. Was almost a big, sexy, movie star, but then she married that schmuck who shoved her into Underworld and ruined her career... and then shoved her into the sequel and ruined her career even more. But she is still super sexy hot. So come on Kate, let's make another bad career move and sign on the dotted line to play inter-galatic sex pot Teela.













Evangeline Lilly. Sexy, sporty, scary. She's three fifths of the Spice Girls in one. Would look amazing in the get-up. And she kicks major ass on LOST. Lilly offers up the best combination of physicality and hotness.












EVIL-LYN:







I had a long coversation with G.I. Jeff as to whether Evil Lyn should be cast as bizarre or as seductive. In the end, I think we both decided as heterosexual male moviegoers that seductive was the way to go. These three ladies can seduce me anytime (although I would resist their advances, since I am happily married man):






Maggie Q. Evil-Lyn always had an exotic quality about her. Even though she was a caucasian in both the cartoon series and the 1987 live action feature (played by freaky eyed Meg Foster), I thought this was a good opportunity to insert a little color into the world of Eternia. And Maggie Q could bring a great mix of athleticism and sexiness to the role. She can be drop dead gorgeous and drop dead deadly.












Aishwarya Rai. Another exotic beauty. Look at her for god sake. She'll kill you with that stare. She could play the black widow vixen to a T.










Carrie Anne Moss. A bit older than the other two, but also a good mix of bizarre and beautiful. And she's a bad ass.



















THE SORCERESS:
The Sorceress, hmmmm. I can't remember what the hell she did on the cartoon. All I remember is that she was a hot, hot, hot bird lady. So with just that to go on, here are three ladies that I feel would look hot in a form fitting bird costume:



























Rachel Weisz. Sexy and intelligent... and British, which for some reason, feels right for the role of The Sorceress.














Julianne Moore. She almost didn't make the cut, but then I saw this pic and it kinda clicked. Look at her. I mean, she looks like a sorceress... what ever the hell that is.
















Jane Seymour. Probably the hottest old lady... EVER. She's a freakin G.I.L.F. So, if we're going older, more maternal, with The Sorceress than at least let's keep her hot.



















HENCHMEN:
I have to throw in some ideas for some of the main henchmen. MER-MAN was always one of my favorite toys as a kid. Andy Serkis would be a great choice. I mean look at the resemblence... it's uncanny.






















And then there's the BEASTMAN the muscle of Skeletor's posse of evil. The actor who plays Beastman needs to be big, he needs to be scary, and he needs to be Michael Clarke Duncan: one intimidating, big, black, man.














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Well, there you have it. Thanks for hanging in there with me. Some fun choices. Please share your thoughts on any of the above ideas or any ideas for characters and actors I may have overlooked. BY THE POWER OF THE BUCKET!

3 comments:

Jeff said...

An awesome selection of actors--I must say but who in Hollywood could bring this group together into a bad ass film? Do you go for a mainstream director here like Michael Bay or Len Wiseman? (Since you've got Kate Beckinsale in there.) Or do you try to go daring with Zach Snyder or maybe Wolfgang Peterson? What'ya got bro?

Captain Mike said...

HE-MAN: Josh Hartnett? No Fucking way. He sucks. Throw a pageboy wig on Jason Statham and awesomeness would ensue. Karl Urban could pull it off physically, although I have no idea if he can do much more than look tough and wield a sword, but that's really all He-man does.

SKELETOR: I know he's old but imagine what Christopher Lloyd could do with performance capture technology. Brad Dourif, too. Where the hell did you get that scary photo of Michael Keaton? And wouldn't it have been cool if Christopher Nolan made him the new Joker?

MAN-AT-ARMS: If only Tom Selleck would grow a moustache again...

TEELA: MMMMmmmmmm...Biel!

EVIL-LYN: This screams out for Angelina Jolie. Maggie Q is hot, too. And what has Tia Carrere been up to lately?

THE SORCERESS, MER-MAN & BEASTMAN: Whatever.

And you can't really have HE-MAN without SHE-RA: Uma Thurman

Directors: I don't really see how Snyder or Petersen would be "daring." Wiseman sucks. He made Die Hard way too slick and cartoony. Sam Raimi or Peter Jackson, 'nuff said.

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