Thursday, July 12, 2007

TV: The Girls of Summer

To paraphrase a Top Ten joke from my good friend David Letterman, you know that it’s summer in New York when cab drivers go from wool to cotton turbans. Another way I can tell summer has arrived is when the TV networks roll out their third quarter line-ups stacked and packed with every conceivable, ridiculous, and shameful concept for reality and/or game show.

But you know what? I watch them. I love them. I love them like Rihanna loves her umbrella. I love them like the gays love Liza. I love them like Oprah hates white people. Like some insatiable reality crack whore, I can’t get enough of the junk.

I know what you’re thinking, “CDW, you are one sorry, sick, son-of-a-bitch. Have some fucking taste, man! You went to fucking film school!”

Okay, first off, STOP YELLING AT ME, DUDE! Second, just hear me out. I want to talk to you guy to guy. So ladies, please stop reading …

Right…


About…


Now!



Are they gone? Good. Guys, we may not agree on our love of reality television, but what I think we can all agree on is our love of hot chicks… and of course an OBGYN’s ability to practice their love with women all across the country.

But, I’m telling you… the chicks on some of these reality shows this summer are SMOKING HOT! The two shows that reach alert level red on the Smoke-O-Meter are SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE and BIG BROTHER 8. But don’t take my word for it; I’ve posted pictures & clips below ;)

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SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE is a reality dance competition, similar to and brought to you by the producers of American Idol. The show is in its third cycle and the hotness of the girls on this show, like a fine bordeaux, has only gotten better with age. Don’t get me wrong, the contestants, both the girls and the guys, are exceptionally talented and entertaining dancers. The show actually does do a great service in helping to bring the struggling and starving art of dancing into the mainstream. But who cares about that crap, these chicks are hot… and incredibly flexible. My personal favorites are:

Lacey: The pouty lipped, swing dancing, sex kitten


Lauren: The naughty & nice, punky, hip-hop girl.


Anya: The ballroom vixen from the Eastern Block.


Jaimie: The contemporary dancing girl next door

And she can do this!

There’s a couple more who deserve honorable mentions this season. For the sake of time and my carpal tunnel, you’ll just have to tune into the show next week to check out the rest. So You Think You Can Dance is on FOX every Wednesday at 8PM and Thursday at 9PM.

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BIG BROTHER 8, which let’s face it, is a classic in the reality TV world. In case you’ve been living in isolation (much like the contestants on the show) for the last eight years, the concept of the show is kind of like Survivor meets The Real World meets a sadistic rat trap. About a dozen or so high maintenance and type-A personalities are trapped together in a sick Ikea furnished fun house for four months, while cameras tape their lives 24/7. They have no access to the outside world in anyway. No TV, no books, no internet, no phones, no clocks or watches. Each week they vote someone out until just one houseguest is left. It’s fucking brilliant.

This season the casting directors have outdone themselves, casting former Hooters girl Daniele and a self obsessed bikini model Jen. Both are super hot.

Daniele kind of has a skinny Anna Nicole Smith thing going for her.


Jen has plastic tits and wears bikinis that are so small you’d think she does her swimwear shopping at the American Girl doll store.


Check out this clip of Jen prancing about with her coin slot hanging out. http://youtube.com/watch?v=WQvcWVBxbtg
Who'd like to drop a dime in that?

Below are some additional clips of Daniele and Jen that I pulled off You Tube. I feel they further illustrate my point. Please, to enjoy at your liesure. Big Brother is on CBS every Tuesday at 9PM, Thursday at 8PM, and Sunday at 8PM.

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So, while there is alot to hate about reality television, there's alot to admire as well. Besides porn, I can't think of any other medium that provides an outlet for completely talentless, but super hot chicks to showcase their assets. And porn is expensive.

1 comment:

G.I. Jeff said...

Wow, maybe there is something to this reality tv you've been speaking of for years Cody. That chick is friggin hot!