Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix - Alternate Review

Cody it seems got the jump on me with his review of the newest Harry Potter film and of course has nothing good to say except that it looked pretty. I of course disagree with his assessment of this fifth installment, of course.So you would think that we are in Police Academy 5: Mission to Miami territory here. Usually when you get to 4 or 5 in almost any film series they begin to either jump the shark in a silly and pointless way or become completely un-watchable. Just like Star Trek 5 where the crew supposedly meets God. Or Superman 4 with that dumb Nuclear Man. How about Jaws 4 where the shark gets revenge? Come on! You want to talk about literally jumping the shark. Rocky 5, I won't go into details here but trust me it was just bad! American Pie 5: The Naked Mile was so bad it couldn't even be released in theatres. AVP that Aliens and Predator spin-off, it doesn't get much worse than that. Thankfully this curse of 5 does not occur in the newest and 5th sequel of Harry Potter. Thank God.

Now I have read the books and out of all of them The Order of the Phoenix is the weakest and worst of the bunch. You have a dumb prophecy, Sirius Black is annoying and Harry himself is at his most, whiny. Luckily for us all Director David Yates has spared us almost all of the bad storytelling that Mrs. Rowling subjected us to in her book. The problem for those who have not read the books or this book in particular they don't fully explain some of the new characters in this film, as Cody so eloquently put in his post. They also don't give Ron or Hermoine enough to do either which I agree is unfortunate. Perhaps they should have made it longer but, then you would have more of that ignorant prophecy that honestly has no real pay off in the movies or in the books. So in the end I think it was for the best that they snipped it. I do want to mention to Cody that I did have other friends who have not read any of the books and really enjoyed this film, and were able to follow it without any problems. Anyway, the issues that Cody had with this film I could understand to some degree, as mentioned before there were some glaring writing errors in the source material. The most important of these is that after all of the crap that happens to him over five books Harry still punks out in the end of this book as he has in the previous books until someone like Dumbledore or Sirius saves his four eyed ass once again. The movie, thankfully, gave the kid a little more stride in his step, a little less whiney and a little more angry, allowing us to see a glimpse of that bad ass wizard we probably won't see until the 7th and final book.I also enjoyed Harry training his fellow students in secret showing us and them just how much he has learned over the years and how truly good he has become. Harry gets a little tongue action just to remind us that he is not a little kid anymore and that he is, after all of this magic stuff, a horny friggin teenager that wants to get his snog on. The second best part to the film other than the stunning Wizard's duel at the end of the film was the development of Sirius Black. I always found it funny that Rowling would proclaim that one of her favorite creations was Sirius Black. I found it funny, because of all of the characters in the books; his was the most under utilized and 2 dimensional. This is credit to the wonderful talents of Gary Oldman, and what he has brought to the role. I don't want to give the ending away but, when what happens--um, happens I was truly affected by it, even when I knew the ending. Everything made much more sense and it raised the stakes much more than the book allowed.I still have yet to see the IMAX version and I would like to see it soon. Maybe I can get Cody to see it with me again and after some explanations maybe then he would find he actually enjoyed it more than he originally thought.

Grade: 3 1/2 Buckets


Cody Dee Williams said...

Feel free to use my cool bucket icons!

Cody Dee Williams said...

BTW, you note it as the "5th sequel" at the end of your second paragraph. You should change it to "4th sequel" or "5th film". "5th sequel" would mean the sixth film.

Oh, and the Police Academy movie your are referring to is subtitled "Assignment: Miami Beach".

Not trying to be Moran, just trying to be helpful :)

G.I. Jeff said...

Thank you Cody Dee I appreciate the notes.

I also didn't mention two roles in my post that I also thought was done very well. They were small of course but very effective and gave some insight to the future films and books. That would be Snape played effortlessly by Alan Rickman and Bellatrix Lestrange played strangely sexy and evil by Helena Bonham Carter. I really look forward to see more of her in future Potter films.

David said...

I have another note. American Pie 5 wasn't so terrible it didn't get a theatrical release.

Much like American Pie: Band Camp, AM5 was made for Direct to DVD.

Much like many studios today who are making cheap sequels for the home video market because it means a quick profit (stealing a page from Disney's old playbook pre-pixar takeover.)

Just one for the records when you write your critiques.

PS: HBC is NOT sexy, has never been sexy, and does nothing sexy. The woman looks like her face was sandwhiched between two bricks. And in this movie they gave her a droopy lip on top of that. Does the mother of your child to be know you find such things sexy???

Cody Dee Williams said...

I agree with Dave on the HBC thing. How can you find her sexy? She looks like a baby with birth defects. Everytime I see her I think of Rachel Dratch on Weekend Update as the incest baby of Angelina Jolie and James Haven.

Take a look. It's uncanny.

G.I. Jeff said...

Wasn't looking at her lips bro--she wasn't on screen that much. I was looking just below her neck. Who loves the motor boat. I'm a motor boating son of a bitch! As you should be too my friend!

As for the straight to DVD thing. Semantics Speck. I know you wanted to bust some industry knowledge on me there cochise, but I'm not a frikin infant I understand how straight to video happens. It's a cottage industry. What I can't understand--It sounds like you watched that crap.

David said...

I havent watched it. And its not semantics either nor is it "industry knowledge" I'm busting out with. Everyone knows the studios made direct to DVD divisions. Its not insider info. So, done get all ants in pants over getting a little schooling.

Posted from the beach on my iPhone.

Captain Mike said...

I of course disagree with all of your silly assessmants, of course.

I have neither read nor seen HPATOODP, and the only developments I care about are Hermione's.

People outside the US make no distinction between real movies and direct-to-video productions. My housemates have subjected me to such horrific viewing experiences as "Starkweather," featuring Lance Henriksen as a evil grim reaper type figure who instructs Jim Starkweather to kill people. Don't these people know about "Badlands?" At the local quiz night, there was an actual question about "American Pie: The Naked Mile." Silly foreigners.

Thank you, Cody Dee for taking up the editorial reigns in my absence.

Speck, the beach is no place for your stupid iPhone.