Wednesday, August 02, 2006

MOVIES: THE CRYING GAME

Well, here it is. Captain Mike’s first drop in The Bucket! Some of you know that I have my own awesome blog, Moranadu, on which I ponder the meaning of dreams, weird experiences, personal obsessions and whatnot. Troy’s Bucket being primarily a pop culture blog, I will try my best to limit my comments here to movies, music, comedy and such.

Anyway, here we go. I am a reasonably intelligent and sensitive young man. I have been watching movies all my life, and like most other people I have cried at the movies a few times. In fact, I cried the very first time I went to the movies when my mom took me to see “Fantasia.” The dinosaurs in the “Rite of Spring” sequence scared the crap out of me. Mom did the right thing and took me out of the theatre. It’s a good thing she did, too. If I had stuck around for the “Night on a Bald Mountain” sequence with that giant devil dude, I probably never would have seen another movie again. But everything worked out for the best.

Here are ten of the movies that made me cry, or at least get a little misty. To avoid SPOILERS, I shall list all the movie titles in BOLD FACED CAPSLOCK, so if you don’t want to know the sad or inspiring thing that happened in that movie, please move along. Here they are, in alphabetical order.

ALMOST FAMOUS – My favorite scene in my favorite movie of all time. The band is on the bus. Morale is low. “Tiny Dancer” starts playing. One by one, they all start singing and remember what amazing, crazy, wonderful lives they are leading. “I have to go home.” “You ARE home.” Perfection.

EDWARD SCISSORHANDS – The last 10 minutes – Love, beauty, sadness and Danny Elfman’s glorious music. Bittersweet and gorgeous.

THE ELEPHANT MAN – Pretty much the whole thing, but John Merrick’s dying words and the dream that followed made be ball my eyes out.

GLORY – The campfire scene, “Give ‘em hell, 54th!” and Shaw’s body being moved into his regiment’s mass grave – Classic Man-Cry moments, all.

THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING – When Frodo is boarding the ship and gives his friends a farewell smile… well, if that doesn’t make you miss your friends, you don’t love your friends.

MEET JOE BLACK – The whole long finale. Some say it’s too long, I don’t care. Anthony Hopkins’ character reminds me of my dad, and how I’d hate to lose him.

MILLION DOLLAR BABY – The sad smile and tear in Hilary Swank’s eye just before she gets put to sleep will rip your guts out.

MY GIRL – Okay, I was 13 when I saw this movie, but when the little girl busts into her friend’s funeral and demands that they put his glasses on… c’mon! It’s fucking sad!

THE NEVERENDING STORY – If the sight of Atreyu’s beloved steed Artex being sucked down into the Swamps of Sadness doesn’t make you tear up, you have no soul.

SAVING PRIVATE RYAN – Giovanni Ribissi’s slow, painful death is goddamn excruciating.

So there they are. I encourage the multitudes to chime in with their own picks. G.I. Jeff will likely tell us all about watching “Lonesome Dove” for the first time. If Industry Guy Speck ever decides to put fingers to keyboard, he might tell you about how verklempt he got over Ben Affleck’s I-wan’t-to-be-a-great-dad soliloquy from “Jersey Girl.” And we all know how emotionally wrenching the third season of “Survivor” was for Cody.

I have now hijacked Troy’s Bucket and made it a safe place for the sharing and mending of our collective pop culture wounds. To borrow a phrase from another Man-Cry masterpiece, let the healing begin!

11 comments:

Speck said...

I did get choked up at Jersey Girl damnit...I like that movie.

Braveheart also always gets me...so does Legends of the Fall...and yes Meet Joe Black.

I'll disagree on one movie...Million Dollar Baby....if I shed a tear during that "film" its because it sucked so bad.

Captain Mike said...

As a Jew, I don't think you're allowed to cry in Braveheart anymore.

G.I. Jeff said...

Yes Lonesome Dove gets me in the end, I'll admit it. For some reason so does the movie Always and My Dog Skip. I can't explain why.

Of course Speck would hate Million Dollar Baby, yet he gets choked up over Jersey Girl--He has a sexual frustration over Kevin Smith--Specky you need help, I think Kevin Smith is a funny guy and a good writer, but come on Jersey Girl?

Speck said...

Jersey girl was a good hearted film. Nothing great...but nothing Smith has ever done has been great. And yes, part of it got to me damnit.

Million Dollar Baby is a movie that started off well, and went to crap the instant she broke her neck. The movie was predicible, trite, and boring after that.

Captain Mike said...

"Nothing great...but nothing Smith has ever done has been great."

??????????

Speck, you own at least one version of every movie Kevin Smith has ever made that has been released on DVD (including the Clerks cartoons, but with the possible exception of Jersey Girl), posters and screenplays for several of those flicks, and action figures of Jay and Silent Bob.

Speck said...

I enjoy Smith. I think his movies are funny as hell. But that is his writing. The actual movies aren't well made by any stretch...cept my Strikes Back...only because it was a big studio movie with a lot of money behind it.

Clerks 2 is great...but its a shitty looking/made movie.

doesnt change the fact that I love the characters and dialogue.

JudgeHolden said...

Elephant Man probably wins for saddest fucking ending of all time, but it was so sad because it was so simple, elegaic, beautiful. The choice of music there was perfect. But of course it was: David Lynch is a genius. Also, and perhaps to completely negate my credibility in this post, the very end of Titanic gets me. When the incredibly old woman goes to sleep and dreams of being back on the old ship and seeing Leo there at the top of the stairs, the dream-like applause -- it gets me. Jim Cameron -- manipulating bitch. Good post, Mike, and brave to tell everyone which movies you got all womanly about.

Jason Comerford said...

"ET" always makes me tear up. "Dead Ringers" (the Cronenberg one) does it too. As does "Ikiru", "Fly Away Home" and especially the end of "A Mighty Wind," at which I weep like a little bitch, every time.

I'll second "Return of the King," also, though for me it's when Viggo goes, "My friends... you bow to no one," which is usually when I dive for the Kleenex.

Captain Mike said...

Dead Ringers? You're a sick puppy.

Jason Comerford said...

Have you even seen "Dead Ringers"? It's an exquisitely sad movie. Jeremy Irons wandering around his apartment with his twin, slowly succumbing to a fatal overdose... gut-wrenching stuff. Sniffle all you want at Macaulay Culkin in a coffin, Mikey. "Dead Ringers" is a tragedy that moves you without once resorting to cheap, melodramatic tearjerking.

Speck said...

KROM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!