Celebrity Bucket o' Dumb: The McCain Campaign

Cody and I have made an effort not to interject our politics on Troy's Bucket. But by doing so we have found that we have missed out on some hilariously stupid shit that has been thrown out to the public during this campaign season. So we figured if the New York Times, NY Post, Washington Times and Washington Post can endorse a Presidential hopeful, why the hell can't we. We have to do it in our own way and as you might have noticed, given the title, that we at Troy's Bucket strongly endorse Senator Barack Obama.Yes I give this Celebrity Bucket o Dumb to the McCain campaign for their hilarious roller coaster ride from about May right on up to the end of October, and I'm sure there will be much more to come after I write this post. It is obvious at this late date in campaign season that John McCain is an angry old man yelling at the clouds. Now before I get into the stupid tricks of the McCain campaign I am compelled to say that I do not think ill of John McCain personally, and there was a time where I thought the guy had more going on upstairs. That all has changed since becoming the Republican front runner. Mr. McCain has decided to run for President without having any new plans to offer us the American people. So instead he has decided to be as ridiculous as possible in the hope that we either A. Don't notice B. feel bad for the guy and give him a sympathy vote or the worse one C. Attempt to bring Obama's postives so low that McCain somehow becomes the only choice.Early in the campaign McCain started with this simple phrase, "Barack Obama is not experienced enough to be President." Simple and easy to understand, but nevertheless...it didn't work. Then he decided to up the ante and say that Obama will raise your taxes--which is not true, but it is a stalwart Republican tactic. At this point there was no mention of crazy preachers and washed up 60's radicals. He put out silly ads about Obama being a celebrity like Paris Hilton and Britany Spears. McCain and Bushie tagged team Obama for being an appeaser to Terrorists like Neville Chamberlain was to the Nazis (There is more to this particular event than this, but if you want more, check out the Best clip of the day from a few weeks ago with Chris Matthews). This charge was extremely silly considering a week or two later Bush started talking to the Iranians in the same way Obama had been suggesting.In August we got the Rah Rah of convention season. Obama picked Biden and McCain picked Sarah Palin. When we got Palinized during the Republican Convention, in my opinion, is when the Straight Talk Express started to come off the rails. McCain had the option of a Lieberman (although boring, definitely qualified), Ridge (again a bit stiff, but certainly qualified) or Romney (as boorish as John Kerry, has magic underwear, but still more qualified than Palin) but he went with the lady from Alaska, who claims her experience in foreign policy is based on the fact that she can see Russia from her house. We learned that she can read a speech with vigor but when asked questions on the spot it is abundantly clear that she doesn't have a free floating thought in her noggin. I won't go so far as to call her stupid but, just the other day, after three months she still cannot answer this simple question., "What does a VP do?" This is what the Governor said:

"A Vice President has a really great job, because not only are they there to support the President agenda, they're like a team member, the teammate to that President. But also, they're in charge of the United States Senate, so if they want to they can really get in there with the Senators and make a lot of good policy changes that will make life better for Brandon and his family and his classroom."

According to the Constititution the VP is not in charge of the Senate and most importantly the VP cannot get in there with the Senators and make policy changes. The VP has one role "Preside" over the Senate and vote only when a tie break is needed, otherwise it is very clear in the Constitution that the VP does not have a vote!!!

Sarah Palin, Rep. Michelle Bachmann, Joe McCain (Brother to John) and Rep. Robin Hayes have in the last few weeks invoked the mantra you are either with us or you are against America. Palin seems to think that small towns in the south and mid-west are the only "real" towns in America. Big towns aren't pro American like the small towns. Ms. Bachmann of Minnesota thinks that if you are a liberal then you are anti-american and the media should investigate you if you question Republican authority. What a novel approach to governing, but honestly that's just the funny stuff. McCain has suggested that Obama wants to teach the naughty talk about the birds and bees to kindergartners. That Obama favors killing newborn babies, that he has betrayed the troops because he, according to McCain, doesn't want to win the war in Iraq. And of course everyone's favorite that Mrs. Alaska keeps bringing up about Obama palling around with terrorists. Egads people, I think McCain should just stick to his line about Liberals raising taxes and all of this Joe the Plumber nonsense. Cause honestly, calling your opponent an anti-american socialist who palls with terrorists who kills babies would suggest that this person is dangerous. But McCain at a rally said that Obama is a good family man and that people shouldn't be afraid of his presidentcy. So if he, according to you Senator, isn't a dangerous commie terrorist then why the hell do you and the people around you keep implying this? Is it because you have nothing of real importance to bring to this election?Which brings us back to the fundamental reason why Senator McCain has earned his bucket o' dumb. He has run for the highest office in the land, after 30 years in the senate, after a exemplary military record only to offer the American people------crickets-----NOTHING!!! Absolutely nothing, no plan no ideas, just don't vote for the supposed Black commie terrorist guy who, may or may not be an American. Fear, senator, all you have brought is division and fear. And on top of that we are in the middle of a financial crisis and you expect the American people to elect someone who has been on the record as saying things like, "I don't understand the economy," and "The Fundamentals of our economy are strong," right after the economy tanked.

Should the American People choose not to elect you president Senator McCain. Please take a little trip to New Jersey, come and see us, and we will personally give you the trophy that is on the mantle place of some esteemed colleagues of yours, people like The Nuge, Britany Spears and Neil Diamond. I know it's not the White House but at least it's shiny. You can put it in that fifth house of yours in Boca. I think it will compliment the room just fine.

CELEBRITY BUCKET O' DUMB: Academy Voters

The Oscars are over and the winners have all been given their shiny trophies and Cody and I are not really that happy. Don't get me wrong as an employee of Paramount Vantage I was excited to see good films like There Will Be Blood and especially No Country For Old Men get the top prizes. It was some of the smaller awards that made me scratch my head and go-- huh? The major one that pissed Cody Dee and myself off collectively was the Visual Effects award. There were three films nominated in this category, Pirates of the Caribbean at World's End, Golden Compass and Transformers. Now in case you've been living under a rock somewhere in Boise, Idaho then you would be thinking, Transformers is just a kid's cartoon. In this instance you would be dead wrong, if the Academy members had gotten off their high horses to see Transformers they would have seen a film on the cutting edge of special effects.

Michael Bay will never ever deserve an Oscar for best picture or director but in this instance he and his visual effects team led by Scott Farrar and including Scott Benza, Russell Earl and John Frazier, actually more then earned the top prize. So who got the shiny naked golden man instead? The Golden Compass. Yes that controversial movie about athiests and those really terrible CGI polar bears. I mean the Polar Bears on the Coke commercials were more convincing. How could this be? Among the four of them they have worked on such awesome effects film such as Backdraft, Spider-Man, The Chronicles of Narnia, Spider-Man 2, Pearl Harbor, The Perfect Storm and Cocoon. We have always known the Oscar voters to be lazy sheeplike snobs and this is a direct example of this. Most of the time people who vote pick their friends. Or they let their kids pick who they like. I doubt many of them actually take it seriously. Golden Compass has Daniel Craig and Nicole Kidman and it's a controversial kids movie about religion. Transformers is a bang up action flick about robots that turn into cars and planes and it was directed by Mr. Explosion himself Michael Bay. Other than Steven Spielberg there is no pedigree to Transformers so voters avoided it. I doubt many of them have seen Golden Compass or Transformers. If they had perhaps they would have been able to make a more educated vote.Anyway on behalf of the Bucket I would like to present to all of the Academy Members who voted in the 2008 Oscars this Celebrity Bucket o' Dumb. You've earned it for years and years of bad voting. Like Shakespeare in Love beating Saving Private Ryan and Dame Judy getting an award for ten seconds as Queen Elizabeth and most importantly for giving an Visual Effects Oscar to a bunch of badly drawn polar bears.

Celebrity Bucket O' Dumb: Neil Diamond

Everyone knows his popular song Sweet Caroline, well recently he has added a new twist to the creation of a song that, now, doesn't sound so sweet but downright creepy. During a concert for Caroline Kennedy's 50th birthday party Neil Diamond revealed to the crowd that the Caroline pic below was the inspiration for his most popular song-- from the early 60's. Um, now I know Caroline Kennedy is 50 now but she was like 10 or 11 years old in this photograph. Neil says, "It was such an innocent, wonderful picture, I immediately felt there was a song there." Yeah a song for a Pederast. In this song that fans sing during the eighth inning of every game at Fenway Park you can hear phrases like "Hands, touchin hands Reaching out touching me, touching you." And if you thought that was creepy listen to this part "But now I look at the night and it don't seem so lonely we fill it up with only two." Neil what the fuck were you thinking admitting this one. This song is an American Classic now it's an anthem for Pedophiles--and it doesn't stop there. I was just listening to your other song Girl You'll Be A Woman Soon, and wow it's like listening to new lyrics or something, they have taken on a whole new meaning. I guess you really like them young Mr. Diamond. I was never a huge Neil Diamond fan but now the old coot just freaks me out. So on behalf of all children everywhere I bestow to you Neil Diamond this Celebrity Bucket o' Dumb, and Neil do us all a favor and stay away from the playground.

CELEBRITY BUCKET O'DUMB: Sesame Street and Overprotective Parents

Recently the owners of Sesame Street released the first season from 1969 on DVD. They have curiously placed a warning label on the DVD stating that some of the content is dated and now not suitable for young children. As many of us know that when you make DVD's out of classic programs from the 40's, 50's and 60's sometimes you get some politically incorrect material that is either racial or sexist or just downright mean spirited. The Looney Toons vault set comes to mind.So the New York Times listed a few of the scandalous things going on at Sesame Street in the late 60's. In the 60's there was a popular show hosted by English actor Alistair Cook called Masterpiece Theatre. Sesame Street's version was Monsterpiece Theatre hosted by Alistair Cookie or as we lovingly know him Cookie Monster. This is bad people, really bad, "Cookie Monster is making fun of America's favorite old fart sitting next to a fireplace, reading a book!" (Scrooged) What really makes this bad is that Mr. Monster is holding, gasp, a pipe! Call the Police! Then this insane crazed monster does the unthinkable he eats the pipe! Oh my god this should be x-rated no child should see an imaginary blue creature eating a fake pipe. Honestly I don't think little children today would know what a pipe is, do you see people smoking pipes anymore, but that is beside the point. What the hell is wrong with these people!!? It's Sesame Street!! I grew up on Sesame Street I would like my son to grow up on Sesame Street there is nothing controversial about it, plain and simple.We live in a very reactionary country now, where everything, no matter how innocent or non-threatening somehow appears nefarious if taken from a slightly skewed perspective. I mean one of the other complaints was that Oscar the Grouch was too grouchy. That Big Bird plays with an imaginary friend Mr. Snufalufagus and the kids make fun of him for it. Cookie Monster eats too many cookies and it apparently sets a bad example for children. It came to my attention now that Cookie Monster doesn't eat cookies at all anymore he just eats vegetables. WTF? He's the Cookie Monster!!! You see this is very simple, as parents we show our children these things to entertain them and sometimes to educate them. No responsible parent that I can think of would just hand a kid a giant cookie jar and tell little Junior to act like the cookie monster and feed his fat little face!! Parents and especially these damn action groups need to stop nitpicking every little thing in children's programming. Be parents, set rules for your own kids but stop ruining the experience for others because their parents are actually involved with their kids lives. There is nothing wrong with Sesame Street except that now, apparently, it is so PC that it sounds like it lost the fun and wonder that it used to have. This is really sad, I will admit that Sesame Street was created in simpler times, before Columbine type horrors but why do we have to shield children from that innocence of old? Our children are young and impressionable but they aren't stupid unless we as parents make them that way.So I want to give this Celebrity Bucket O' Dumb to Sesame Street and Overprotective Parents everywhere! Because life is too short and the world is filled with real issues and problems that we, the normal ones, in this society are forced to just put you in your place and tell you to relax and enjoy the damn show!

CELEBRITY BUCKET O'DUMB: Bill Belichick

Now it's been a couple weeks since it happened (sorry I got a newborn at home) but it still lingers in my craw like a bad rash. So just a re-cap for the people who do not follow NFL football. A few weeks ago Bill Belichick, of the New England Patriots, while playing the NY Jets, sent an assistant over to the sidelines to film the Jets and their defensive signals. This is a pretty huge deal, for instance, if the Patriots know that the Jets are going to blitz the quarterback, there will be no pass coverage and if you have a good team like the Patriots they will score. Cody Dee and I were livid of course but if you listen to NFL Sunday on HBO or any of the other NFL broadcasts the announcers amazingly don't seem to care about this. They all say well this happens all of the time and only the ones who are good at it get away with it, so who cares? This is terrible!! Terrible for sports and terrible for the NFL. This is cheating, plain and simple. If there are others that do this then there needs to be an awareness here in order to stop it. It's been a rough year for pro sports as one scandal after another finds its way to the mainstream media. So what really can the NFL do to a team that can still win even if they don't cheat?

Well for one giving Bill Belichick a Celebrity Bucket o' Dumb may be a start. So that's what were gonna do. Most of us at the Bucket already hate the Pats and their annoying habit of beating on our favorite teams but to discover that they cheated and may have been cheating for a while.... Wow thank you Bill Belichick for proving all of us haters right you are a skeevy guy with your unwashed hoody and overall arrogant demeanor and you are a cheater who got his hand caught in the cookie jar. So what does the NFL do? They fine you, The Coach, 500,000 dollars. They fine the Patriots 250,000 and you have to give up your first round picks for next year. Does this sound like a proper smack down or just a light slap on the wrists? Well the Patriots, without cheating, are still one of the best teams in the NFL, in defense and offense. So what if they have to pay a few thousand in fines, they get much more in winning the Super Bowl anyway. So here is what they should do -- suspend the Patriots from competing in the playoffs for one to two seasons. That will pass the message along that the NFL will not tolerate cheating in any form and it will make other teams cautious about using this kind of tactic in the future.

But we all know that the NFL will never grow the balls to do something like this to the sweat hog we love to hate. So instead Mr. Belichick please accept this award from us at the Bucket because like Britany and Kenny "Sticky Fingaz" Rogers cheaters never prosper and if you've seen where Britany is now after her MTV stunt and Kenny after Detroit failed to make the playoffs this year, Kharma's a bitch and you will get yours.

India

Yes--the whole country of India. Actually my focus is really on the radical conservative right wing party in India. So this past week, actor celebrity Richard Gere was at an AIDS benefit in India hosted by the people in charge of Bollywood. He apparently was on stage where he--now if this next part offends you I apologize, apparently to some this act is a lewd and obscene gesture that warrants 3 months in prison--so Mr. Gere kisses a popular Bollywood actress Shilpa Shetty on the cheeks and-- wait for it--he dips her and then has the gall to kiss her on the cheeks again. This is considered an obscene act in India--you are not supposed to show signs of public affection. Every culture has there little peccadilloes but this is kind of ridiculous. I think these right winger Indians need to calm down breathe deeply and rejoin us in the 21st Century. The last I heard India has a Parliamentary system, which is a form of a democracy. I know that not every country has the same rights that we do here in the United States but--he didn't feel the girl up or anything. He just kissed her on her cheeks. Lighten up India, if you want to be seen as kinder gentler brother to some of the fundamentalist whackos in the Middle East then keep on this self indulgent 50's era hatred of any kind of sexuality no matter how banal. So here it is fresh from Nuge's house the Celebrity Bucket of Dumb.

Maybe it is obscene!!! Is he dry humping her?

Ted Nugent

This has been a pretty tough week with the 32 dead at Virginia Tech and today with two dead at NASA; it takes someone nuts like Ted Nugent to put everything in perspective. Everyone should know the Nuge from his exploits as a musician and as a TV celebrity on VH1. Everyone should also know that the Nuge is a gun nut and is completely insane. After reading his Op-ed piece this morning you can add dumb redneck to that list.

Personally I wish people in general would not trivialize or politicize these terrible events when they occur, but because of the 24 hour news cycle I think it is almost impossible to avoid these kinds of statements. Ironically I haven't really heard very much if anything at all from anyone talking about the importance of gun control or the assault weapons ban. So what is the Nuge's problem, obviously the left has decided that this issue is a dead one that the American people don't really care so it hasn't really been a political issue since the early 90's. If he was trying to make a political statement in defense of weapons I think he did a pretty bad job. I think he proved their point about gun control.
In his Op-Ed piece he talks about the good guys having weapons to counter the bad guys like its high noon or something. Is he that naive to think that if everyone has a firearm or an automatic weapon that somehow some way gun violence will drop? I will admit as I search the internet apparently accidental gun deaths have dropped over the last few years and that is a good thing. But isn't it the responsibility of everyone in this country to try to get the guns out of the hands of those that would misuse them? For instance the kid from Virginia Tech, he had a documented history of emotional problems and a police record that stated he was a danger to himself and to others, yet he was still able to buy two handguns legally with a credit card. This is the problem here. If we are going to have guns legally than they need to be sold responsibly, otherwise this will certainly happen again. They are dangerous weapons that can inflict massive deaths in a matter of seconds. This isn't a political statement it is a physical reality. Instead of fighting each other about whether or not we should have guns we should be fighting specifically about which guns civilians should be able to have. So on behalf of Troy's bucket I bequeath to the stupid former rocker the official Celebrity Bucket o' Dumb--Congratulations Mr. Nugent and just remember please do us all a favor and keep the safety on, Nutbar.

CELEBRITY BUCKET 'O DUMB: Two'fer Kenny "Sticky Fingaz" Rogers and Kanye "Sore Loser" West

I know that the World Series is over but I have found myself reviewing some of the articles during and after and everyone seems to still be suspicious about the brown gunk on Detroit Tigers pitcher Kenny Rogers' hand during game 2 of the World Series against the St. Louis Cardinals. I've seen the photos of his hand and of the Ump coming up to tell Kenny Rogers to wash it off. Seems harmless enough, but when they start saying words like cheating and pine tar, then things get interesting. Just for the record pine tar is a substance that pitchers use in practice to control their aim over the plate. It is illegal to use pine tar during a game. Apparently someone did this in the World Series in 1988 and was tossed from the game and then suspended for two more games. Mr. Sticky Fingaz claims that he just had dirt on his hand. Do you buy it? I don't know if I do. I mean this guy is pushing 40 his control has been better then it has ever been in his career. Not to mention that Detroit was only able to win this game in the entire series. So it does seem suspicious to me. This whole thing could have been wiped away clean if Kenny "Stupid" Rogers had said after the game that it was dirt, that the ump told him to clean it off, he did and then he continued to pitch a near perfect game afterwards. End of story. But he created all of this suspicion when he denied that the ump said anything to him about it in the first place.

If you watched the game you would have noticed the Ump coming over to the plate to speak with Rogers and to probably tell him to wash the gunk off. Why would he lie about that? Hell even his coach Jim Leyland admits that the ump told him to wash the shit off. The friggin ump told the media that he asked Rogers to wash the shit off. Not to mention that ESPN apparently went back to review past tapes of Rogers pitching against the Oakland A's and the New York Yankees and they noticed the brown gunk on his hand in those games as well. Curiouser and Curiouser. Since you're team lost the World Series I doubt anyone will be looking hard into this but, it sounds to me that you are definitely covering up something Mr. Kenny Rogers. A sticky secret that has given your old ass a much needed career boost, but because of your stupidity in bungling your cover story you have raised enough doubt about your credibility, and that my friend will stick to you for the rest of your career. So without much fanfare I present to you Kenny "Sticky Fingaz" Rogers the Celebrity Bucket O' Dumb. May you cherish it always.

Now for the second in line for a Bucket o' Dumb, Mr. Kanye West. A few days ago Mr. West was attending the MTV Europe Music Awards in Copenhagen, Denmark. Kanye West won for Best Hip Hop Artist. But when he didn't win for best Music Video he went nuts he ran up on stage talking about how it cost a million dollars, that he quote "jumped canyons" and of course that Pamela Anderson was in it. I think he even said something about the credibility of the award show being questioned because he did not win this award. Then he apparently tried to grab the award from the real winners Justice and Simian. I mean okay, you feel like you were snubbed for an award I get it. You should feel free to mouth off I guess, it seems tacky and selfish, but okay. The thing that gets me is that it was for MTV in Europe. This isn't prime time MTV people. What kind of loser loses his junk on Euro-MTV? This is very sad, I really liked Kanye West but now, man he just seems really pathetic. For some reason when I think of this meltdown I think of the movie Zoolander when Zoolander loses the best male model award and he doesn't realize it he just goes up to receive it looking like a dumb ass. That image is now replaced by Kanye West. So--- don't worry Kanye my friend I have an award especially for you and you can put it on your mantle and admire it for the rest of your life. Well you might not admire it but it will help you to remember to keep your cool when things don't go your way. So without further delay I present this month's Celebrity Bucket O' Dumb to Kanye West. Congratulations! You've really earned it!

CELEBRITY BUCKET 'O DUMB: Three Times A Celebrity

We've got the tri-fecta for you this week! The winner of our Summer of '06 Celebrity Bucket O'Dumb is a three way tie between a diaper dandy (I'm channeling Dick Vitale), a washed up hyper active buffoon and a religious zealot. That's right I'm talking about Paris Hilton, Mel Gibson and Tom Cruise. If we could just ignore them maybe they would go away, but somehow it's difficult to look away as the train careens toward the cliff. These three are perhaps the most annoying Hollywood has to offer and hopefully, as the front pages have reported in the last few weeks, if we, the viewing public have any luck, this may be the end of all of their careers.

Let's start with the Diaper Dandy, Paris Hilton. Why did we give her this award? She's a moron with money. She represents a bygone era known to many as the 80's. Excess. Her kind of people should never be encouraged in a free society; they represent everything that is wrong with capitalism. Instead of rewarding this retard for being rich why don't they tell the little tramp what she really should be doing with a billion dollar fortune. I blame the parents first, just like Willy Wonka--"What do you do if your kid is a--brat." I say the girl didn't get the belt as a kid--Yesss that's perfect that's what I want to see Paris Hilton on live TV getting spanked with a belt. Who am I kidding they probably have a sex tape of that somewhere--she would probably enjoy it anyway. My point here folks is that we as a society need to stop pretending to ignore her and really ignore her. She isn't interesting, she's dumb, her boobs are flat and come on she really isn't that pretty. This should be a no brainier. So come on and join me in turning your back on this hack celebrity who shoves her blinged ass in our faces and for some reason we say yes please Paris humiliate us some more. It must end now. Vive Le resistance!

What can be said about Tom Cruise? He's not that bright. He appears as a fake to the public with his Joker like grin and horrendously overly enthusiastic laugh. He is also a representative of a controversial religion/cult that tends to grow stranger as time passes. I personally do not like Tom Cruise but I love his movies and hopefully one day maybe he will disappear to the bowels of Hollywood only to show his face for another Hollywood Blockbuster. I fear those days may be numbered. Sir Tom was just handed his walking papers by Paramount Pictures where he has been able to drink the Kool-Aid of success since Top Gun in 1986. It could be a sad day for Paramount but they've put up with his shit for a year or so now. Tom Cruise gets the Bucket award because he totally tanked a good movie, Mission Impossible 3, cause he couldn't keep his feet off Oprah's furniture and his mouth shut in front of Matt Lauer. The guy has a severe PR problem, but that is the price you pay for ideology. Tom it's time to decide between your career and Scientology, it's taken you this far but I think you just peaked. Personally I think you have enough talent to go at it alone, drop the Xanu talk and stop worrying about your next stress test and audit of your Thetan or whatever you call it. Prove to the world that you aren't batshit crazy and get back to the business of entertaining people with your movies. I don't care about your baby, I don't care about your relationship with Katie Holmes--Stop making public appearances, people know who you are it's not necessary for you to promote your movies, okay. You're starting to make Michael Jackson seem normal, so get your shit together, admit your baby is a fake and just go under for awhile, people will forget, trust me.

Now onto our third winner, another celeb with a PR problem. Let's move past the anti-Semitic remarks and "Sugar Tits" and get to the real problem at hand. Mel Gibson was driving drunk and not just a couple of glasses of wine drunk, I'm talking Nick Nolte drunk. He blew a .12; the legal limit in California is .08. I mean that kid from Sixth Sense is going to the big house, what makes Mel so special? Is it because he has friends on the Malibu police force? What if someone were hurt or killed during his little adventure, not to mention the guy mouthed off to the arresting officer, which should be another charge. I used to like Mel Gibson when he pretended to be crazy in Mad Max and Lethal Weapon. It's sad that this guy inspired all of these Christians with his Passion of the Christ and then blew it all on booze and hate. Look, I think the guy was an ass to say all of those things but I think it's even worse that he was driving drunk. I've noticed that he didn't really apologize for that. So Mel you get the award for being a complete and total loser, hopefully you'll clean up your act. But I know deep down that we will be revisiting more of your exploits on these pages again soon--I have faith in that.

CELEBRITY BUCKET 'O DUMB: Brittany's Birthing Hotspot--Namibia?

Movie stars and Celebrities do and say stupid things and what kind of an entertainment blog would we be if we didn't write articles reveling in their dumbness. Hence the Celebrity Bucket 'O Dumb. This week's winner is-----Brittany Spears!

As you all know Brittany Spears is the pop starlet who wrote and performed some of the most god-awful bubblegum songs ever created on this little planet of ours. Songs like "Hit Me Baby One More Time" and "Oops, I Did It Again." Pop stations used to play these songs ad nauseum for years until finally K-Fed knocked Brittany up and got her off the charts. The good news is that she doesn't seem to be recording anything the bad news is the paparazzi and other entertainment news mags will not just let the girl fade into the night. Brittany has had her baby and now I can't watch even my respected news programs without them mentioning how Brittany is a bad mom. She drops her children in public and she apparently doesn't know how to operate the child seat. Now I will say in her defense that these snaparazzis get out of hand endangering the subjects they take pictures of and not allowing them any privacy, but I will also say that Brittany to some degree did do this to herself. There are many celebrities in and outside of Hollywood, some bigger than others, but if you really want to safeguard your privacy then you have to work for it. Most publicists like to think that any publicity is good publicity, and that is mostly true, but if you are considered a recluse and you rarely cause a scene, then after a while the public forgets about you. This isn't always the case but it can be, if said celebrity would try, but she's not going to Namibia to hide; she's going to Namibia to make more babies and get a little press.

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt were recently in the African country of Namibia where she gave birth to their first child. Apparently they were shielded from the mainstream press by the Namibians and allowed to have as much of a normal birth as possible. Although I have to say I at least respect Pitt and Jolie for trying to make an issue out of these third world countries and allowing the U.S. to see how the other side of the world lives. Ms. Jolie obviously seems to care about these people and made a point by accepting 4.1 million dollars for pictures of their new baby and giving the money to a Namibian hospital. I have to say, that was very nice of them, and it shines a spotlight on Hollywood to lead by example. Anyway, going back to the reason behind Brittany’s Bucket award--she wants to go to Namibia to have her second child, not as it would seem because she too wants to help a third world country like the Pitts, no, that would assume that Mrs. Spears knows where Namibia is. She says that her husband K-Fed really enjoys African-American culture and that he'll feel at home rapping with the natives. Um, okay... But here's the real reason why Brittany wants to have her child in Namibia, she says to Matt Lauer on NBC, "I heard that Namibia has laws that let celebrities say whether or not journalists are allowed in the country. That's so important, even more important than getting the same villa that Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt had." Are you frigging kidding me? This is a country with a high poverty rate and terrible living conditions; unless Mrs. Spears is looking to be even shallower than I believe she already is, it might behoove her to shut the hell up crank out that baby in sunny Los Angeles and never speak of this fairy tale place Namibia again.
(Please note: To show that I am not heartless, check out the links to Namibia. Click here, here and here as well )