We've got the tri-fecta for you this week! The winner of our Summer of '06 Celebrity Bucket O'Dumb is a three way tie between a diaper dandy (I'm channeling Dick Vitale), a washed up hyper active buffoon and a religious zealot. That's right I'm talking about Paris Hilton, Mel Gibson and Tom Cruise. If we could just ignore them maybe they would go away, but somehow it's difficult to look away as the train careens toward the cliff. These three are perhaps the most annoying Hollywood has to offer and hopefully, as the front pages have reported in the last few weeks, if we, the viewing public have any luck, this may be the end of all of their careers.
Let's start with the Diaper Dandy, Paris Hilton. Why did we give her this award? She's a moron with money. She represents a bygone era known to many as the 80's. Excess. Her kind of people should never be encouraged in a free society; they represent everything that is wrong with capitalism. Instead of rewarding this retard for being rich why don't they tell the little tramp what she really should be doing with a billion dollar fortune. I blame the parents first, just like Willy Wonka--"What do you do if your kid is a--brat." I say the girl didn't get the belt as a kid--Yesss that's perfect that's what I want to see Paris Hilton on live TV getting spanked with a belt. Who am I kidding they probably have a sex tape of that somewhere--she would probably enjoy it anyway. My point here folks is that we as a society need to stop pretending to ignore her and really ignore her. She isn't interesting, she's dumb, her boobs are flat and come on she really isn't that pretty. This should be a no brainier. So come on and join me in turning your back on this hack celebrity who shoves her blinged ass in our faces and for some reason we say yes please Paris humiliate us some more. It must end now. Vive Le resistance!
What can be said about Tom Cruise? He's not that bright. He appears as a fake to the public with his Joker like grin and horrendously overly enthusiastic laugh. He is also a representative of a controversial religion/cult that tends to grow stranger as time passes. I personally do not like Tom Cruise but I love his movies and hopefully one day maybe he will disappear to the bowels of
Now onto our third winner, another celeb with a PR problem. Let's move past the anti-Semitic remarks and "Sugar Tits" and get to the real problem at hand. Mel Gibson was driving drunk and not just a couple of glasses of wine drunk, I'm talking Nick Nolte drunk. He blew a .12; the legal limit in
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
CELEBRITY BUCKET 'O DUMB: Three Times A Celebrity
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