MOVIE REVIEW: Casino Royale

After the first five minutes Daniel Craig made Pierce Brosnan, Roger Moore, Timothy Dalton and George Lazenby look like little sissy girls with wet knickers. Yes, people it is official Daniel Craig is the true heir to the Bond franchise, may he rule with distinction and bad assery. It was weird seeing the opening credits with the Columbia logo and not the UA logo of old. It really felt like they were really making changes and trying to get the feel of the books written by Ian Fleming. Bond (Daniel Craig) appears in Black and White confronting a man that will inevitably allow the spy to obtain his 00 status. In order to obtain his license to kill Bond has to make two kills. His first kill is jarring and brutal. His second, as the intended target admits, is considerably easier. This movie was well written, action packed and Daniel Craig's portrayal of Bond as a blunt instrument is dead on accurate to the book.

James Bond is the best poker player in Her Majesty's Secret Service. M (Dame Judy Dench) sends him to Casino Royale in Montenegro to play a high stakes poker game with a French banker named Le Chiffre (Mads Mikkelsen) who uses his winnings to fund terrorists. Bond's mission is to clean out the Frenchman in order to apprehend him and break him for questioning. M doesn't trust Bond so she sends an accountant Vesper Lynd (Eva Green) to keep an eye on him and the money.
As I revealed there is no plot to destroy or conquer the world. No crazy underground bunkers or hidden lairs. You have an intelligent, athletic crafty and cold agent in her Majesty's Service who is capable of confounding the enemy in whatever way possible. He is not much of a talker and if you step to him he will kick your ass with an icy blue stare. Daniel Craig has all of the toughness of Connery. He also has an added gift that belonged to another actor of Connery's generation. Steve McQueen. Craig not only looks a hell of a lot like McQueen he has also inherited McQueen's uncanny ability to allow the audience into his head without uttering a single word. It's all in the eyes. Craig has that in spades and it's great to watch as his Bond cases a situation before he steps in to act. You can see it working in his eyes as he figures out his first move. It also plays well into the general theme of this film; which is understanding your opponent, looking for the tell or the bluff, the parallels between the mission and the game and how they impact each other. Let me also say that I have always thought Eva Green was attractive but for some reason in this film she is smoking hot. She is a great actress and really shows her range as she confounds the audience and Bond to her true motives.

The film was fast paced and brilliantly filmed. I loved the contribution from character actors like Jeffrey Wright who played Felix Leiter and Giancarlo Giannini as Mathis. This is the second Bond film directed by Martin Campbell who was at the helm of the very successful Goldeneye starring Pierce Brosnan. It's a solid film with intrigue and action and excellent writing. This Bond is how I believe Fleming imagined him, not a real hero but a serious man who does whatever is necessary to get the job done.

Grade: 5 Buckets

MOVIE REVIEW: Stranger Than Fiction

I'm going to be honest with you on Friday I had my sights on seeing the film Babel. Unfortunately it was full so my wife and I had to move to plan B. Plan B of course became Stranger Than Fiction and I have to say it was a very good second choice. This is the most subdued I have ever seen Will Ferrell and he was great. Maggie Gyllenhaal was cute and Emma Thompson was amusing as a writer obsessed with the nature of death and of course how to successfully kill her leading man. I have been impressed with director Marc Forster's path so far. I have not seen his thriller Stay but I have seen Finding Neverland and Monster's Ball and they are both exceptional films.

The film takes a page from writer Charlie Kaufman as it focuses on a very anal IRS agent named Harold Crick (Will Farrell) who begins to hear a woman's voice narrating a novel about him and his actions. At first he is freaked out and then panicked when the voice hints at his possible demise. This of course puts a chink in his future plans, as he has fallen in love with anarchist baker Ana Pascal (Maggie Gyllenhaal). What's a guy to do.

The film has a very interesting structure that at first I did not notice but as the film continued it began to remind me of Groundhog Day, Adaptation and even Fight Club. I really need to see it again because I feel there was more there than meets the eye. The character of Harold Crick enjoys numbers and solving math equations and throughout the film they have subtlety and not so subtlety thrown in diagrams of equations and problems. To what purpose, I'm not sure but I did enjoy the random pop ups. It is a story about a guy too uptight to really live his life. Through his interaction with the disembodied voice he is allowed to take some control of his boring existence and make it the life he truly wants. This stuff has all been done before but Forster does a good job keeping pace and skewing the story enough that it doesn't feel boring or overused. Emma Thompson as a seemingly suicidal and tormented writer Kay Eiffel is unusually funny. I know she has done comedies in the past but this is the first time I noticed her in that specific category. Her character has writer's block and is having trouble finding a suitable death for her main man Harold. Dustin Hoffman was hilarious as a Literature professor trying to help Harold find the novelist before she kills him. It's hard to really review the film without giving too much away but my wife Tamar put it this way. It's what I heart Huckabees should have been. Dealing with abstract philosophies and throwing in a blend of classic literature for good measure. That might not make sense but when you see the movie you will hopefully understand. Just rest assured that Will Ferrell hearing a narration in his head that ends up annoying him is friggin hilarious and we'll leave it at that.

Grade: 4 Buckets

MOVIE REVIEW: Borat - Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan

I saw Borat the other day and before I begin I think it is important for everyone to know that Sacha Baron Cohen, who portrays Borat onscreen, is actually Jewish. Now I don't want that fact to ruin the movie for everyone. But having that knowledge going into the movie makes what he does ironic and funny and his seemingly real interactions with Americans across the heartland very frustrating and downright scary. As you may or may not know Sacha Baron Cohen is also Ali G from the HBO show Da Ali G Show where Borat and other strange characters were born. The film was fun and I laughed my ass off through most if not all of the movie. As those that have seen it can attest I, like I am sure, many others were disturbed by the naked wrestling, but we'll get to that.

Borat Sagdiyev (Sacha Baron Cohen) is a journalist from the glorious nation of Kazakhstan who is sent by his country to make a documentary about his travels in the United States. He is joined by I think it was a Kazakhstan representative Azamat Bagatov (Ken Davitan) who helps Borat film the documentary and has some very amusing scenes as he attempts to produce this very low budget documentary.

Anyway the whole Documentary seems to go awry when Borat becomes obsessed with Pamela Anderson and takes the film crew on the road to literally go and bag the blonde bombshell. Now as I mentioned above Cohen is Jewish and his style of comedy relies on the uncomfortability of others as well as revealing anti-semitic and racist feelings in his subjects. These parts, while funny, were somewhat unsettling at times as Borat asked a gun owner about which gun he should choose to kill Jews. The owner didn't skip a beat in telling him which weapon would be suitable if he, you know, wanted to kill a Jew. There was also a cowboy at a rodeo that thought Borat looked like Saddam Hussein with his mustache and told him he had better shave it off because he, quote, "Looked like a terrorist." Then the cowboy went on a ten minute rant about hanging Muslims and gay people. It was very telling. At first I thought Borat had made it to Texas for the rodeo but when they showed the map later it was really just outside of Washington D.C. Apparently stupid bigoted ass holes are closer than we think. There was also a group of frat boys from South Carolina. They are now suing Cohen for how they were represented in the film. They aren't giving their names in the lawsuit but if you saw the movie you will remember their faces. They also used racial and sexist slurs and were on the whole pretty stupid. They are claiming the Mel Gibson defense that the film crew liquored them up and only through intoxication did they spew hate. Um, yeah I don't think this will stand up too well in court. Also there was a great bit in a Born Again Christian church that made Borat seem normal. They tried to exercise the demon inside Borat with the compelling power of Christ, funny yes and again equally disturbing.

Personally I loved Borat and his broken English and terrible faux pas. The only problem I had was again the naked wrestling. I won't go into great detail but--damn. It was probably the most disgusting thing I have ever seen. It lasted at least ten minutes and it was the longest ten minutes of the entire movie. Sure it was funny if you were able to keep your eyes on the action but um, it was really disturbing. Have you ever seen that movie Women In Love, don't let the title deceive you there is a scene where Oliver Reed wrestles with this other dude naked on a bearskin rug, very gross. Yeah, so the Borat vs. Aramat naked fight was ten times worse. These dudes were hairier then--yeah we'll just stop there. So go and see Borat and remember to keep your eyes closed for the ten minute naked hairy beast wrestle. Trust me on this one you'll thank me later.

Grade: 4 Buckets

CELEBRITY BUCKET 'O DUMB: Two'fer Kenny "Sticky Fingaz" Rogers and Kanye "Sore Loser" West

I know that the World Series is over but I have found myself reviewing some of the articles during and after and everyone seems to still be suspicious about the brown gunk on Detroit Tigers pitcher Kenny Rogers' hand during game 2 of the World Series against the St. Louis Cardinals. I've seen the photos of his hand and of the Ump coming up to tell Kenny Rogers to wash it off. Seems harmless enough, but when they start saying words like cheating and pine tar, then things get interesting. Just for the record pine tar is a substance that pitchers use in practice to control their aim over the plate. It is illegal to use pine tar during a game. Apparently someone did this in the World Series in 1988 and was tossed from the game and then suspended for two more games. Mr. Sticky Fingaz claims that he just had dirt on his hand. Do you buy it? I don't know if I do. I mean this guy is pushing 40 his control has been better then it has ever been in his career. Not to mention that Detroit was only able to win this game in the entire series. So it does seem suspicious to me. This whole thing could have been wiped away clean if Kenny "Stupid" Rogers had said after the game that it was dirt, that the ump told him to clean it off, he did and then he continued to pitch a near perfect game afterwards. End of story. But he created all of this suspicion when he denied that the ump said anything to him about it in the first place.

If you watched the game you would have noticed the Ump coming over to the plate to speak with Rogers and to probably tell him to wash the gunk off. Why would he lie about that? Hell even his coach Jim Leyland admits that the ump told him to wash the shit off. The friggin ump told the media that he asked Rogers to wash the shit off. Not to mention that ESPN apparently went back to review past tapes of Rogers pitching against the Oakland A's and the New York Yankees and they noticed the brown gunk on his hand in those games as well. Curiouser and Curiouser. Since you're team lost the World Series I doubt anyone will be looking hard into this but, it sounds to me that you are definitely covering up something Mr. Kenny Rogers. A sticky secret that has given your old ass a much needed career boost, but because of your stupidity in bungling your cover story you have raised enough doubt about your credibility, and that my friend will stick to you for the rest of your career. So without much fanfare I present to you Kenny "Sticky Fingaz" Rogers the Celebrity Bucket O' Dumb. May you cherish it always.

Now for the second in line for a Bucket o' Dumb, Mr. Kanye West. A few days ago Mr. West was attending the MTV Europe Music Awards in Copenhagen, Denmark. Kanye West won for Best Hip Hop Artist. But when he didn't win for best Music Video he went nuts he ran up on stage talking about how it cost a million dollars, that he quote "jumped canyons" and of course that Pamela Anderson was in it. I think he even said something about the credibility of the award show being questioned because he did not win this award. Then he apparently tried to grab the award from the real winners Justice and Simian. I mean okay, you feel like you were snubbed for an award I get it. You should feel free to mouth off I guess, it seems tacky and selfish, but okay. The thing that gets me is that it was for MTV in Europe. This isn't prime time MTV people. What kind of loser loses his junk on Euro-MTV? This is very sad, I really liked Kanye West but now, man he just seems really pathetic. For some reason when I think of this meltdown I think of the movie Zoolander when Zoolander loses the best male model award and he doesn't realize it he just goes up to receive it looking like a dumb ass. That image is now replaced by Kanye West. So--- don't worry Kanye my friend I have an award especially for you and you can put it on your mantle and admire it for the rest of your life. Well you might not admire it but it will help you to remember to keep your cool when things don't go your way. So without further delay I present this month's Celebrity Bucket O' Dumb to Kanye West. Congratulations! You've really earned it!

MOVIE REVIEW: The Prestige

Hello all I'm back! I know it's been a while but it's been a crazy month. Just today I got a chance to see The Prestige starring Hugh "Wolverine" Jackman, Christian "Batman" Bale, Michael "Alfred" Caine and the lovely Scarlett Johansson. I did not realize, until the credits, that this film was based on a novel by Christopher Priest. The screenplay, however, was written by Jonathan Nolan. Director Christopher Nolan does what he does best with sleight of hand directing tricks and crisscrossing back-story to keep your eyes moving from one surprise to another. Very much in the vein of his first film and major hit Memento. I really want to see this one again because I definitely feel I have missed something important. The score is ominous and adds to the mystery of the story. Although I must admit in the end everything seems to be too simple and un-complicated, but you be the judge.

The film centers on two rival magicians Alfred Borden (Christian Bale) and Robert Angier (Hugh Jackman) who try to one-up each other in order to become the single greatest magician in history. Their rivalry launches an obsession to learn how each of them performs their respective tricks. This story takes place at the turn of the century, where science and magic converge. Cutter (Michael Caine) uses science to create elaborate machines to help Angier perfect his illusion. He also utters the great tagline describing the three stages of a magic trick. The Pledge, The Turn and finally the Prestige. When Cutter can't take Angier where he feels he must go Angier enlists the help of Tesla (David Bowie), a magician who uses electricity in his act. The question is--Is it a trick or is it real magic?

The film jumps from mystery to suspense to drama back to suspense and to some degree becomes a murder mystery by the end of the film. Batman and Wolverine square off with each other as every encounter gets more and more dangerous. It's so fun watching them sneer at one another. There is a very casual cameo by real magician and actor Ricky Jay who appears and then vanishes from the film without much fanfare. Bowie as Tesla is used to his greatest advantage used sparingly and with an aura of mystery around him. A few months ago I saw the Illusionist, which is another film about magicians, and I said that I would try to compare the two to see which one was the best. Honestly I really loved them both. They are different from each other but they do have a commonality which I will not go into here because it may give too much away. All I'll say is the Turn is very important in both films. Chris Nolan has made an exceptional film and it is definitely one I will be buying once it's made it to DVD. But don't wait for it to come out for the small box, if you haven't seen it yet go now before the slew of Christmas flicks comes out, because if you haven't noticed, the box office for the film is dwindling fast and before long the turn will be without the Prestige.

Grade: 5 Buckets