CASTING CALL: He-Man and The Master of the Universe

Since the success of TRANSFORMERS this summer, there has been a plethora of rumors and rumblings of other potential 80's cartoons-turned-feature film projects in development. Thundercats, G.I. Joe, Voltron; all great cartoons from my childhood, and all have great potential to be kick ass live action features. But the one I'd have to say that I am excited about the most is HE-MAN and THE MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE. Sure, they tried to pull it off in the 80's with Dolph Lundgren, Frank Langella, and Courtney Cox. And while I will admit I do own it on DVD and do harbor a certain affinity for it, the Gary Goddard directed 1987 feature is extremely cheesy and low tech. I can only imagine what a mushroom cloud budget and the right director could do to re-envision such a badass cartoon.

It is no secret that many big shot, Hollywood, heavyweights frequent The Bucket often. And as New York's former most powerful casting assistant, I thought I'd weigh in, throw my two cents into the development fountain, and post my CASTING CALL for the live action version of HE-MAN and THE MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE.


HE-MAN:

He-Man always kind of looked like Barbie's boyfriend Ken on HGH. I think it's very important that his look be updated for a new generation. Less of a pretty boy and more of a bad ass. With that said, here are my top three casting choices for the role of He-Man:

Gerard Butler. Sure it's a bit of type casting, after THE 300. But there's only a handful of interesting actors that are physically appropriate to play the role. He's big. He's scary. And he's a decent actor. Make him an offer!

















Eric Bana. A brunette He-Man? Why the hell not? They made James Bond blonde. Another guy who is physically imposing enough to pull it off, and he can act. Played a warrior already in TROY... I don't care, come up with a better idea.























Josh Harnett. I know. Seems like a really bad idea on paper. But he's 6'3", has the chisled chin thing going for him, and he's almost a movie star. Have him pack on 20lbs of muscle or so, I think he could be an interesting way to go.











SKELETOR:

Frank Langella was a fucking badass as Skeletor in the 1987 feature film. And hell, if Frank wasn't pushing 70, I'd say let him put on that cheesy latex mask again. Casting old skull head is a bit of a tough one, because you're looking strictly at performance, and not so much appearance. The actor who plays Skeletor has to be able to deliver alot of emotion from behind a mask. That being said, here are a few that I think could pull it off:

Alan Rickman. One of the best bad guys ever! Such a great actor, such a great voice. Hans Gruber, The Sheriff of Nottingham, Severus Snape... SKELETOR!!!

Jason Isaacs. A great second choice, if Rickman passes (Which he would). Can bring all the same qualities as Rickman, but can also offer more in terms of physicality.

Michael Keaton. Another oddball choice. But if you think about it, it could be a fun idea. A different way to go. Keaton hasn't played a great bad guy, since Beetlejuice. I think he could chew this role up and spit it out.

MAN-AT-ARMS:
He-Man's trusty right hand man and Teela's father. Always the faithful soldier, Man-At-Arms needs to be somebody who plays a rough military type, but also has a paternal quality. So here are some thoughts:

Sean Bean. Always plays a bad guy, but I think it's time for him to show he can play good guys as well. Always brings a great edge to his characters, but also a soul.

Kurt Russell. The original badass. Has played some great roughnecks throughout his career, he's almost too perfect for the role.

TEELA:

















The actress who plays TEELA needs to possess alot of qualities. She needs to be athletic, she needs to be edgy, but most importantly she needs to be HOT. Like really, really hot. And look really, really smoking in a gold bikini. Guys, tell me I'm wrong when I pitch the following three:

Jessica Biel. They don't get much hotter than her. And I know we put her on every CASTING CALL post we do, but as soon as she stops being hot, The Bucket will stop putting her on lists. They say she has the best body in Hollywood, so who better for the role of Teela?

Kate Beckinsale. Was almost a big, sexy, movie star, but then she married that schmuck who shoved her into Underworld and ruined her career... and then shoved her into the sequel and ruined her career even more. But she is still super sexy hot. So come on Kate, let's make another bad career move and sign on the dotted line to play inter-galatic sex pot Teela.

Evangeline Lilly. Sexy, sporty, scary. She's three fifths of the Spice Girls in one. Would look amazing in the get-up. And she kicks major ass on LOST. Lilly offers up the best combination of physicality and hotness.

EVIL-LYN:







I had a long coversation with G.I. Jeff as to whether Evil Lyn should be cast as bizarre or as seductive. In the end, I think we both decided as heterosexual male moviegoers that seductive was the way to go. These three ladies can seduce me anytime (although I would resist their advances, since I am happily married man):

Maggie Q. Evil-Lyn always had an exotic quality about her. Even though she was a caucasian in both the cartoon series and the 1987 live action feature (played by freaky eyed Meg Foster), I thought this was a good opportunity to insert a little color into the world of Eternia. And Maggie Q could bring a great mix of athleticism and sexiness to the role. She can be drop dead gorgeous and drop dead deadly.

Aishwarya Rai. Another exotic beauty. Look at her for god sake. She'll kill you with that stare. She could play the black widow vixen to a T.

Carrie Anne Moss. A bit older than the other two, but also a good mix of bizarre and beautiful. And she's a bad ass.

THE SORCERESS:
The Sorceress, hmmmm. I can't remember what the hell she did on the cartoon. All I remember is that she was a hot, hot, hot bird lady. So with just that to go on, here are three ladies that I feel would look hot in a form fitting bird costume:

Rachel Weisz. Sexy and intelligent... and British, which for some reason, feels right for the role of The Sorceress.

Julianne Moore. She almost didn't make the cut, but then I saw this pic and it kinda clicked. Look at her. I mean, she looks like a sorceress... what ever the hell that is.

Jane Seymour. Probably the hottest old lady... EVER. She's a freakin G.I.L.F. So, if we're going older, more maternal, with The Sorceress than at least let's keep her hot.

HENCHMEN:
I have to throw in some ideas for some of the main henchmen. MER-MAN was always one of my favorite toys as a kid. Andy Serkis would be a great choice. I mean look at the resemblence... it's uncanny.

And then there's the BEASTMAN the muscle of Skeletor's posse of evil. The actor who plays Beastman needs to be big, he needs to be scary, and he needs to be Michael Clarke Duncan: one intimidating, big, black, man.














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Well, there you have it. Thanks for hanging in there with me. Some fun choices. Please share your thoughts on any of the above ideas or any ideas for characters and actors I may have overlooked. BY THE POWER OF THE BUCKET!

3:10 to Yuma

Now I know this may sound hypocritical but I just saw 3:10 to Yuma and I also discovered that--yes this is another re-make. Now in my defense the original 3:10 to Yuma was made in 1957 based on the Elmore Leonard novel. It starred Glenn Ford as Ben Wade and Van Heflin as Dan Evans. Now I like to think of myself as a Western officianado but when I realized this was a re-make of a film I hadn't previously heard of, based on a novel by one of my favorite authors, I was a little surprised. Not to mention that the original film was well received by critics, but again, I had never heard of this movie. I do want to see the original now just to see the changes. I have to admit that I really loved the remake. It was a great cast and the director, James Mangold, seem to have fun shooting this one. It was a little bit High Noon with a mix of Unforgiven. It's a great morality tale, essential for any western.Dan Evans (Christian Bale) is a down-on-his-luck rancher who finds himself involved in the capture and escort of a dangerous criminal named Ben Wade (Russell Crowe). The mission--to get Ben Wade to the train station on time to catch, you guessed it, the 3:10 to Yuma. Where he will be tried, convicted and hung. The real meat of this story is the back and forth between Ben Wade and Dan Evans. The best westerns always seem to ride the fence on good and bad and individual morality. This film is almost a psychological thriller as Mangold seems to enjoy the Sergio Leone style shots and gritty dialogue. Russell Crowe's Ben Wade is affable and hard to read. One minute you think this guy might not be so bad and the next he's a stone cold killer. The action is intense and the character development is as good as Unforgiven or any other western in the last twenty years. I absolutely loved this film and I recommend that you go and check it out before it's gone. Forget Halloween catch the 3:10 to Yuma it's a wild and twisty ride.







Grade: 5 Buckets

Note to Hollywood: Leave John Carpenter's Movies alone!!!

I was checking the grosses for the weekend and of course I am not surprised. The Rob Zombie version of Halloween has topped the Box Office, breaking the record for the Labor Day weekend at 31 million. Will I ever see the new Halloween? Probably not. I've seen this movie already, the original, and it's a great one, a classic no less. I am not a big fan of horror films but I have always been a huge fan of the first film in the series. A classic by John Carpenter that tracks a homicidal maniac's killing spree on a Halloween night. That's it, Michael Myers was an especially creepy villain because there didn't seem to be any rational to why he was like this. Now almost 30 years later an aging heavy metal star turned horror director has decided that we the viewing public need to see Halloween from his eyes. Talk about ego.There are many reasons in Hollywood to do a re-make. The most typical is to re-make a film that was made so long ago that no one would notice, or more importantly, no one would care. Another would be to take a classic that is dated or has been forgotten by the world and re-tool it for today's audiences. Then there is the quick money scheme. Re-make a popular movie that is familiar to fans and hope and pray that they buy this new packaged film as a re-imagining that brings in the big green. There have been quite a few in this category lately. The Manchurian Candidate, Psycho, Hairspray, All The Kings Men, The Ladykillers, The Wicker Man etc. etc. The list goes on and on. I just found out that Hollywood is so desperate to re-make something they are now redoing the George Burns movie Oh God from 1977. George fucking Burns, are you kidding me? Not to mention they are re-making another Carpenter classic Escape From New York and they may be doing The Thing. I mean have they learned nothing from the Psycho debacle?
















You can't copy greatness no matter how hard you try to spin it. Is there no originality in Hollywood anymore? Have the lights gone out in Tinseltown? I mean what could Rob Zombie do to Halloween to make it even more enjoyable or scary then it was the first time I saw it? From what I hear he has decided to go back and explain why poor little Michael Myers is a psychopath. In my mind it makes him less scary. You end up revealing so much about the guy that he becomes less compelling than before and, even worse, not someone to be scared of but to be pitied. His mother is a stripper, his sister is a bitch, Michael Myers, like Jeffrey Dahmer, kills animals as a sign he's a psychopath. This is all pretty cliche and has been done before. Plus I'm sure it will be bloody and violent to an extreme level for added shock value. If you watch the original there is violence of course but ironically not a whole lot of blood. Some of the violence is off camera as well. As any true master of horror or suspense knows that it is more frightening imagining the horror in your mind then seeing it unfold in front of you. So I beg Hollywood and any and all filmmakers, make your own damn movies, and leave the classics alone.

CASTING CALL: Flash Gordon

This past Wednesday I had to leave work quickly and head home. My wife Tamar had been to the OBGYN that morning and they had told her that they were going to induce labor that evening. To make a long story short and without graphic detail my son was born Thursday morning! So I took some time off from work and I will try to assist my wife in taking care of our newborn son. This also means that I will not have time to see any movies for a while. Soooo here is a casting call for a movie that can and should be remade. Just recently I watched a few episodes of the Flash Gordon TV series on the Sci/Fi channel. It barely kept my interest. They made it kind of cheezy and Ming, well Ming does not look Merciless. He kind of looks like an older Apollo from the 70's Battlestar Galactica. Not to mention the guy has hair. What an outrage Ming isn't supposed to have hair. So I found myself watching the episodes waiting for Ming to loose his hair and grow a Fu Manchu mustache. So far it hasn't happened. I really love the Flash Gordon story and I think it can be done well but the first thing that needs to happen in Hollywood is to make it a little darker and really develop the characters. Basically go the opposite direction from the fun but really campy and silly Flash Gordon movie in the 80's.Flash Gordon

After looking for a while on IMDB I think I found a good Flash Gordon, Heath Ledger (pic below). We know from his resume that he can handle action well. From The Patriot to Knight's Tale to the Dark Knight coming out next year. I am confident that Ledger could pull off the heroics and daring-do of Flash Gordon. Normally they get a souped up jock to play Flash, they can handle the action but not the acting. Sam Jones from the 80's comes to mind as a dumb jock portraying the title character. Flash is a physical guy for sure but he isn't an idiot. I think that Heath could bring something interesting to the role and maybe bring it back to it's Sci-Fi roots rather than being just another silly action flick. I also have a long shot Flash that isn't as big a name but I really like him as an actor and I think he could be an interesting choice. Steven Pasquale from Rescue Me, true he plays the, not so bright, fireman Sean on the show, but I I think that he has a charisma that could play very well in a Flash Gordon movie.



















Dale Arden The love interest for Flash but also a smart and fiesty woman who has to match wits with Ming a few times. As much as I love Jessica Biel and I would still say that she is always in contention just because she is just so damn hot, I think we should expand outside just a bit. Which is why I think Rachel McAdams would be a great choice for Dale. She's spunky and smart and she's drop dead gorgeous.











Doctor Hans Zarkov

Doctor Zarkov was always kind of kooky so in the movies they always played him as such. The actor Topol made him nuts and annoying in the 80's version and in the new series they got a light weight actor who just makes him annoying. Zarkov is Flash's science guy. He is Egon to Flash's Venkman. So let's get a nice older gentleman who can work the science and work out the annoying features. If you wanted to go funny you choose Christopher Walken but I want to give this character some weight so I think I'll go with Ian McShane. He really impressed me with his Al Swerengen on Deadwood. He's smart, he's funny and he can be menancing. I always thought they implied that Zarkov was a little unstable, he was a good guy but he has issues. I think McShane could pull off the science and really give Zarkov a meatier role.

Princess Aura

She is hot, she is sexy she is the daughter of Ming the Merciless. You need a bad girl to play the spoiled and sexy alien chick that gives Flash a few sleepless nights. She has to be a little complex because you are never sure what she is up to. I really like Lena Heady for this role. She is complex and strong if you don't believe me check out out the 300 earlier this year.








Prince Barin

Prince Barin is the Prince and future King of Arboria, which is a region of the planet Mongo where the Evil Ming rules. Barin becomes Flash's best friend. He is also smitten with Princess Aura and tends to feel jealous when Aura messes with him by hitting on Flash. In the 80's film he was played well by Timothy Dalton. I actually liked that casting, but of course Dalton is too old so we have to find someone else. I think a possible albeit different choice would be Josh Holloway (Pic Below) from Lost. He has a roguish nature that fits perfectly for Prince Barin, plus I like him matching up with Lena Headey's Aura.















Ming The Merciless

The ultimate in evil and politcal incorrectness. Ming is cruel and wonderfully played by Max Von Sydow in the 80's. The guy playing him in the series sucks giant monkey balls. You need someone who can chew the evilness but be really creepy and well -- merciless. I want someone who can really make Flash sweat and a villain who will up the death and destruction. That is why I think Ciaran Hinds (Pic below) could make a great Ming. He was perfect as Guyus Caeser on the HBO show Rome. He can be a villain but he can give Ming some depth.

















Director

I think there is only one director who could merge the Sci/Fi elements and action into a dark re-telling of this classic tale is David Fincher. Fincher has tackled action and Sci/Fi with Aliens 3 and dark and disturbing with Seven and Fight Club. It doesn't have to be a hard R or anything but I think that he could really do something interesting with the planet Mongo and create a fun and interesting story that fans could love for generations.