Drive

This weeks offerings seemed a bit weak to me, nothing really stood out for me, but I was intrigued by the trailer for Drive. I couldn't tell if it was just another action flick like the Transporter or was there something more to it than that. The score for the trailer seemed to be a bit odd but the film felt like they were going for a solid high-brow action thriller. The other choices was a brutal re-make of the already controversial and brutal film from the 70's, Straw Dogs. Some really obnoxious flick about Power Moms with the very annoying Sarah Jessica Parker and the re-release of Lion King...in 3D!! I took the youngster to see Lion King yesterday in, thankfully, non-3D. He really loved it and it still looked pretty good up there on the big screen. I had heard that the 3D-ification didn't go over as well with audiences although you wouldn't be able to tell by looking at the box office. It looks like it's on its way to 30 million or so. So that's all your going to get out of me about the Lion King, no review needed for that one. As for Drive, I'm still not sure what to think of the film. It wasn't terrible but I didn't really love it all that much. Again that score just baffled me, it felt like opening a time capsule and pulling out some rejected 80's score from flicks like Manhunter or Thief or something. I'm not so sure if it worked.

They seem to be going for a Clint Eastwood western motif with this guy, I honestly couldn't remember his name but IMDB calls him Driver so I guess he's the Driver with no name. Anyway Driver (Ryan Gosling), is a man of many parts. He's a stunt-driver, a mechanic and in his off-hours he acts as a getaway driver for anyone who can pay. All of his jobs, legal and illegal, are provided by his loser mentor, Shannon (Bryan Cranston). Shannon lines up a job for him with some shady dudes in the Jewish Mafia; Bernie Rose (Albert Brooks, yes that Albert Brooks) and Nino (Ron Perlman). Honestly I would have never believed that Albert Brooks could pull off a tough guy but he holds his own pretty well here. He isn't inherently a tough guy but he whacks a few guys convincingly enough. So our Driver also is trying to get to know his pretty neighbor Irene (Carey Mulligan) and her young son Benicio. He finds out she's got a loser husband (Oscar Isaac) who just got out of the clink and is in trouble already. The guy owes some heavy hitters a butt load of cash which of course he cannot pay. They threaten his wife and kid and this is where the Driver decides to get involved. He tries to help the young couple by doing a job to get the husband out of debt but things go south, of course, and the Driver has to steer the ship before they all careen off a cliff.

There were some good performances here, but I swear the director, Nicolas Winding Refn, was way too determined to make this one-note action thriller into some kind of masterpiece. Unfortunately it wasn't, not even close. The cinematography was gorgeous they got a lot of mileage out of that for sure. But that score, oh man, that score was something dreadful. It totally took me out of it. It completely reminded me of those terribly shitty 80's synth tracks. Just really awful. Also I'm really getting sick of these films that are considering themselves "Art house" films with the long annoying pauses and the long stares as if were supposed to get that these characters have some kind of connection that unfortunately doesn't exist. Just stop it, this isn't the 70's anymore, there were only a few filmmakers who could make that shit work and this Refn guy is not one of them. Gosling was ok, but he seemed a bit out of his element, and I just didn't understand his motivation for anything we don't know anything about the guy when it starts and we barely know much about him when it ends. He cares a lot about Irene and her son but I'm still not 100% sure why. He can also apparently be extremely brutal when he needs to be and he seems to know his way around firearms and knives. They never say if he was some former special forces guy or has some dark past, nothing. He's just apparently a really good Driver who, if you cross him, can fuck you up with whatever weapon is lying around.

I would say see this film at your own risk. If your looking for explosions and a fun slick script. This isn't it and you are going to be seriously disappointed. Its actually more like a souped up Indie film with some pretty graphic action scenes and a lot of awkward pauses.

Grade: 2 Buckets

Warrior

UFC Fans rejoice!! This was your movie, why did you not embrace it? I saw this flick last week but I didn't get a chance to get my review in on time. I'm not sure it would have made much of a difference. It stunk at the box office making only a weak 5 million. I thought this was a multi-billion dollar business with die-hard fans? Fans who have been screaming for a movie that reveals the honor and prestige of their craft while proving once again they are the real deal and the WWE is a laughable clownish fake. I guess the filmmakers didn't pander enough to that crowd, or maybe it was just too close in plot to the Fighter from last year. I don't know, but personally I really enjoyed the movie. It did have similar themes to the Fighter but overall it felt like a really good post-9/11 recession fueled flick, with fleshed out real characters.

Estranged brothers, Tommy (Tom Hardy) and Brendan (Joel Edgerton) sign up for a UFC contest in Atlantic City to fight for the 5 million dollar purse. Tommy is a hard drinking former Marine who appears to be bottling up so much anger and resentment that he could explode at any time. His brother Brendan is a school teacher and former UFC fighter who is finding the recession is taking its toll on his family. He's looking at an eviction notice if he can't pay his bills his family is out on the street. Both of them seem to be holding grudges against one another but they both seem to have one thing in common, the mutual hatred of their formally drunk and abusive father Paddy (Nick Nolte). Tommy tries to put his feelings aside as he asks his old man to train him for the contest but finds that almost impossible to do.

This was a much better movie than I thought it was going to be. There are many worn out themes here but the director and the actors take a so-so script and make it much better than it probably should be. Tom Hardy hasn't steered me wrong yet, everything I've seen him in proves time and time again what a fantastic actor he is. It was nice seeing Nick Nolte in something worthy again too. The man is a train wreck personally but he's still a great actor. The fight scenes were really intense and they didn't feel staged. It really did feel like an updated Rocky. It was hard to root against either brother. And as much as I enjoyed the contestants battle it out I really was annoyed with the in-movie commentators. I felt like they were tacked on for that elusive UFC audience that ironically didn't show up for this movie. They gave them way too much air-time and it made it feel more like a cheap spectacle rather than a heavy weight match-up. No offense to those UFC fans out there but it reminded me of the WWE announcers. The thing that aggravated me the most was the one thing the film could not control. In the trailers, they hype up the fight between the two brothers the problem is they don't fight till the end. Which means all of the really intense fighting they have to do up to that point is lost because the audience already knows they are going to meet each other in the final round. It's really sad to because there was one fight that Brendan had that had me at the edge of my seat even when I knew he was going to win. They shot the hell out of it to great effect. If I were the filmmakers I would have been pissed about those trailers.

This is really an entertaining flick and you may get a little choked up at the end especially if you have a brother, like Bryan's Song, Rudy and even 61*, it does a great job of sucking you into these characters and really feeling something genuine for them. Which makes it all the more sad when one of them falls. Don't waste your time on some of the gunk out there, you've got Moneyball coming out in a week but if you have to see a movie before that, especially if you are feeling the sports movie, then you won't be disappointed.

Grade: 3 and a half Buckets

Conan: The Barbarian

I really could have seen anything this weekend, maybe I should have, but I was just too damn curious to see what this thing would look like. I was never a huge fan of the comic book character and I remember vaguely seeing the Conan movies long ago and I honestly can't tell you much about them except that Arnold was in them and he said things like, "Crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women!" It's a funny line, bad ass, but funny. Especially when Arnie says it. I just wasn't sure how they would be able to reboot a series that pretty much made Arnold the action God that he is.

Conan the Barbarian (Jason Momoa) is out for revenge against the evil bastard that killed his father (Ron Perlman), his name...Lord Khalar Zym (Stephen Lang). Conan finds out that Zym is trying to revive his dead witch of a wife using a special mask of power created by Necromancers and to, you guessed it, take over the world. In order to do all of this conquering Zym has to get the pure blood of an Archeon (don't worry it really isn't that important to the plot to know what an Archeon is.) named Tamara (Rachel Nichols). Conan grunts and smolders and kicks a lot of ass, protects Tamara and puts the smack down on Zym and his nutbag daughter with the giant forehead, Marique (Rose McGowan).  End of story.

There really isn't much to say about this it's pretty much as advertised. The entire plot, narrated nicely by Morgan Freeman by the way, is spelled out in the beginning about Necromancers, dark masks and magic, yadda yadda. The film doesn't waste much time to get to the Spartacus: Blood and Sand type gore. Conan doesn't say much he growls and stares like the lead singer of Metallica and he has this annoying habit of randomly driving his sword into the ground. Momoa, who also does his best Conan on the hit show Game of Thrones, isn't terrible in the role. The kid who plays Conan the younger tops him for sure. Momoa wields the sword as best he can in a script that seems to have been written by a three year old. It's absent the politics and subtle overtones on war and spiritualism of the Milius' hit from the 80's. But it delivers on what is advertised lots of action and blood and gore and ample boobies throughout to keep any red blooded male satisfied. Not to mention the locales are pretty breathtaking. Very impressive cinematography I must say. Stephen Lang chews the scenery well as Zym but he isn't served much by the role, and Rose McGowan is pretty much useless except for looking head-scratchingly weird with her bulbous forehead and squeaky voice. She doesn't sound much like a warrior woman. Rachel Nichols provides the only character development other than young Conan and she does her best with what she has to deal with. It's also too bad we didn't get to see more Ron Perlman as Conan's daddy. This guy is great in pretty much whatever he does.

Overall it's a brutal mindless action flick that really should have come out earlier in the summer and probably would have fared much better. Also if you do decide to go and see it I would personally skip the 3D if I were you. I saw it in 2D and it looked just fine, there doesn't seem to be any advantage in seeing it in 3D, except for the studio, in that it burns a hole in your pocket. But if you're looking for an escape from the reality of our shitty economy and you're just feeling bloodthirsty about it then don't waste anytime get your blood lust out on this Conan flick and feel much better.

Grade: 2 Buckets

Rise of the Planet of the Apes

The summer is winding down as the crazy action-packed blockbusters start to fade away. This film could be called another re-boot, remake or pre-quel in the popular sci-fi series. The early trailers didn't do much for me except for the motion-capture CGI apes that looked damn impressive. The trailers followed the apocalyptic blueprint to a tee: Man creates cure, cure is not what it is meant to be, the experiment goes haywire, Apes become smart, Apes rule the Earth. It's crude but that's what it looked like to me, thankfully that's not what it was.

Will Rodman (James Franco), a geneticist, is struggling to find a cure for Alzheimer's disease. It is even more personal for him since his Father, Charles (John Lithgow), is suffering from this disease. Will is experimenting with chimps, he discovers that his cure enhances the brain power of the chimps with violent side effects. When a baby chimp, Caesar (Andy Serkis), is discovered to have the cure in his bloodstream, passed from his mother to him. Will finds that Caesar is different from all of the others, as he grows his brain functions triple in size. He forms a consciousness and begins to feel the torment of an intelligent mind in the body of an animal that is considered inferior.  Caesar is taken from Will when he attacks a neighbor in self defense. They lock him away and he learns how to gain respect among his kind and to escape.

I was truly impressed by this movie, I didn't expect to like it as much as I did. It had all the trappings of the end of the world scenario but instead of strictly following the formula it veered off into something completely different altogether. Unfortunately for Will and his very hot girlfriend Caroline (Freida Pinto), they just weren't interesting enough to carry the film. Where the film was unique and overall satisfying is watching Caesar learn and grow while under Will's care and then later at the Pound. How he earns the respect of the other chimps and he comes to understand who he is and what he actually wants. It will surprise you in it's simplicity but it also just felt completely honest. Don't worry I won't talk about what that is here. You had some nice performances from Lithgow and I liked seeing funnyman Tyler Labine being utilized in something worthwhile. This isn't a funny role for him but it was nice seeing him play someone other than a giant douche. Even though they didn't give her enough to do I also enjoyed Freida Pinto, she's a good actress and she deserved a bit more meat than she was given. But in the end the real star here is Caesar, at first you feel like you are just looking at some very clever CGI but as it continues and you see him in his prison trying to sort out what to do. You completely forget you are looking at a CGI construct and you are convinced that Caesar is alive. Another testament to Andy Serkis and his motion-capture performance. The guy truly should be up for an Oscar this time as he should have been for his role as Gollum.

If you aren't interested in crap horror movies (Final Destination 5, Fright Night) Conan or stupid blue creatures then you really should check this one out. It's got a pretty good cast and a pretty good script. This is not your Father's Planet of the Apes. This is not just an action movie, although the bridge fight was impressive. This fits more in line with Flowers for Algernon. This is about an animal that becomes aware of itself and it's surroundings and how he deals with that. If they can continue to make the Apes franchise with this much care and attention then I think you can have a healthy series in the coming future.

Grade: 3 1/2 Buckets

Cowboys & Aliens

So, I know many of you are asking, what the hell is this film about? That's really the beauty of that title. It's all right there. Although you could technically call it Cowboys, Indians & Aliens, but that probably wouldn't sound right. This is actually a pulse pounding action Western that is the embodiment of Survival of the Fittest. Funny story, I ironically put that idea into motion as I was driving out of the parking lot at the end of the movie. I watched to my horror, as two dumb rednecks in their pickup truck were careening in reverse towards me, the only thought in my head was, "What the Fuck are they doing, and am I going to die in the Movie Theatre Parking Lot?" Thankfully I pulled quickly out of the spot and the redneck stopped suddenly if I had jerked the wheel the idiot would have probably run into me. I then realized of course that he was putting on the throttle just to get my parking space. You see it would have proven that theory, as the dumb jackass was driving a beat up old pick up truck and I was driving a 2003 Volvo station wagon. It's built like a tank I would have had some bruises and he would be a grease stain. "Only the Strong Survive," in action.  My near death crisis aside, or his near death crisis, as it was, I had a blast with this film. I'm starting to get annoyed with these reviewers and their bitching and moaning.  This was exactly what was advertised, it had action heroes like Daniel Craig and the man himself Harrison Ford kicking alien ass and taking names, what else do you need? A plot you say? There was one, they didn't go to great detail but it was there, and here it is in a nutshell.

The man with no name awakens in the desert with hardly any clothes and a strange alien device strapped to his arm. He can't seem to remember his name, turns out later to be Lonergan (Daniel Craig), and he hasn't forgotten that he's a bad ass. He rides into town and runs head first into trouble as the local Cattle Baron's brat of a kid, Percy (Paul Dano),  tries to provoke the man with no name to mixed results. The brat's dad Col. Dolarhyde (Harrison Ford), is a tough man, some might even say a bad man, keeping the townsfolk in fear of him. He confronts Lonergan but before they can throw down the sky lights up and the Aliens come to town. Killing and kidnapping folk left and right. It's up to Lonergan, a band of Indians under the command of Black Knife (Raoul Trujillo) and Dolarhyde to put away their gripe and work together to get their people back and kill the demons.

I'm always a sucker for a good western and a good sci-fi flick so putting them together was a no-brainer for me. There are many ways this could have gone south but they had a pretty excellent team here with great support from veterans like Sam Rockwell, Clancy Brown, Adam Beach, Keith Carradine and of course the beautiful and mysterious Olivia Wilde.  Personally you can't have an authentic western without Keith Carradine being in the mix somehow. It was great seeing him and Harrison Ford together and it makes me wish that Harrison had done more westerns. I would have loved to see the two of them in a kick ass western twenty years ago, ah well better late than never. It's a really fun ride, don't let the naysayers tell you different. Director Jon Favreau, Producer Steven Spielberg and one of the writers Damon Lindelof  (Lost, Star Trek) spared no expense to bring you a fun action flick. So please, do us all a favor and stay away from the blue creatures that sing. Put your money into a man's movie. It's stronger and better and deserves to stomp out those fucking annoying blue rodents. Even though I'm sad to report that even though Cowboys & Aliens barely skated by it's opening weekend over the blue turds it looks like it's going to come up short in it's second weekend. A truly sad day for film.

Grade: 3 1/2 Buckets