Robin Hood

Russell Crowe and Ridley Scott are a great Director/Actor combo no question. Recently that combo has come under fire for, frankly, firing blanks. Although American Gangster seemed to have made it through unscathed, A Good Year and Body of Lies however completely tanked at the box office. When I first heard the two were gearing up for a shot at Sherwood Forest I kind of rolled my eyes and shrugged, "who the hell cares." When I heard they were contemplating doing a revisionist take where Russell would play both the Sheriff and Robin as well as show a slightly different take where the Sheriff may not have been evil just misunderstood, my curiosity was piqued. Of course that all was shattered when the reports came in that they were just going back to telling the same Robin Hood tale except this one, as the ads put it, was supposed to be the story that created the legend that apparently has never been told.Robin Longstride (Russell Crowe) is a tough archer in the army of King Richard the Lionheart (Danny Huston) as they trek back to England after the failed Crusades. With him are his loyal friends and merry men Will Scarlett (Scott Grimes), Allan A'Dayle (Alan Doyle) and of course Little John (Kevin Durand). After the King is killed Robin takes on the guise of the King's friend and confidant Locksley so he may return the crown back to England and ensure Locksley's sword to the fallen aide's father. Robin, as good as his word, returns the crown to that arrogant jerk King John (Oscar Isaac). Robin finds himself continuing to pretend he is the son of Locksley, only this time at the behest of Sir Walter Locksley himself (Max von Sydow). Which means he gets the luxury of pretending to be married to the widow Maid Marion (Cate Blanchett).There is quite a lot of plot here as we follow Robin back to England to find his country in turmoil and he seems to have enemies on all sides. He's got the jerk Prince, I mean King John trying to collect his taxes not to mention the invading French hordes, led by Godfrey (Mark Strong) the turncoat, burning and sacking every town in jolly old England. I honestly loved this story and the actors and the beautiful scenery this is a Class A production. The only problem is why the hell is it called Robin Hood? As much as I enjoyed this thing the names just distracted me. Robin Hood is a myth about a legendary thief with a heart of gold who robs from the rich and gives to the poor. It should be fun with bows and arrows and swashbuckling and daring do. If this is what you were hoping for please look somewhere else. There is none of that here. This is a gritty realistic drama that takes place in the 11th Century and is really more about the origin of the Magna Carta then it is about Robin Hood. And I'm telling you I ain't complaining but again I ask the question, what the hell does any of this have to do with Robin Hood? You see this is supposed to be an origin story of Robin and his merry men and why he became an outlaw--so it took about 25 minutes in the Kevin Costner Prince of Thieves to establish that Robin of the Hood is an outlaw. In this flick it takes almost three hours and then, as you've seen from the trailers, our hero is finally dubbed an Outlawwwwww!There are so many problems with Russell Crowe being Robin Hood especially Robin Hood in a pre-quel one important note would have to be his age. I mean ole Russ is pushing 50 and this is when Robin gets started? Not to mention it's hard for this guy to be sarcastic and chatty. Although he did do a great job of that in 3:10 to Yuma. Yes, that's it he should have played his Robin exactly like his Ben Wade, without the evil. This is also a story that has technically been told poorly ever since Errol Flynn kicked the Sheriff's ass in 1938. I actually think one of the best so far is the Disney version of Robin Hood. It's everything you want in a Robin Hood story and it's great for kids. Now there were glimmers of hope, as I mentioned before, Prince of Thieves was pretty darn great except for Robin himself. Costner was kind of a joke to put it mildly. But the movie was fun and it really tried to swing for the fences. Again I ask, why the hell didn't Ridley do something like that? For a Robin Hood tale this one is so heavy handed with the speeches and the philosophy. I want to see Robin unleashed with the bow and kicking ass, with clever traps in Sherwood. Nope, that kind of stuff is a no show. It's not to say Robin Hood has to be dumbed down but it certainly should be fun. This film is so damn serious it's hard to imagine anyone having any fun. In fact the few moments of fun in the film get cut to shreds mostly dealing with Robin's buds and the always humorous Friar Tuck (Mark Addy). Those guys were really great and brought so much more to the film. I've always been a fan of Addy especially from a Knight's Tale and it would have been nice to see a few more scenes with him.As I said I'm totally conflicted about this movie. On one hand I really enjoyed it but as a Robin Hood movie it just wasn't right at all. So it's your call folks honestly I'm going to have to break down the Bucket system this time for the first time ever. Either way I recommend you see this flick it's well written, by the always great Brian Helgeland and say what you want about Ridley but it's hard for this guy to make a bad film. I'll put it this way if you enjoyed Kingdom of Heaven, which I did, then you should enjoy this movie too. Just keep reminding yourself that this isn't really a Robin Hood story and I think you will be pleasantly surprised.

Grades: Movie about the 11th Century: 3 and half buckets

Robin Hood flick: 2 buckets

Iron Man 2

When last we left Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) two years ago he had defeated his former friend and business partner Obediah Stane (Jeff Bridges) and in a press conference declared himself to be Iron Man. Fast forward to today (about 6 months, Iron Man time), Tony Stark/Iron Man is back and he's bringing some major muscle with him back to the Box Office. The first film should always be viewed as the blueprint for success for any superhero story. It's a character driven story that is funny, smart and entertaining as hell. The second is truly no different in that respect. Where the first film dealt with the origin of Iron Man and the humanizing of Tony Stark. The second film is deceptively darker as Tony, after he outed himself as Iron Man, has bitten off way more than he can chew.Tony Stark is enjoying life as the sole protector of the planet Earth. But he's got some problems heading his way. First the electromagnet protecting his heart is now poisoning his blood stream and slowly killing him. The Government wants him to hand over the Iron Man gear , and no does not seem to be a suitable answer. Which forces them to bring out the big guns in smart ass Senator Stern (Garry Shandling) and rival business Mogul and current weapons manufacturer for the U.S., Justin Hammer (Sam Rockwell). They even try to use Col. James "Rhodey" Rhodes (Don Cheadle), Stark's best friend, against him. He's also being hounded by S.H.I.E.L.D and Nick Fury (Samuel Jackson) to man up and join the Avengers. And to make matters worse he's got a brilliant but crazy Russian name Ivan Vanko (Mickey Rourke) gunning for him. What is a rich Billionaire Industrialist to do?I really enjoyed this sequel I can't say that it's better than the first one but it certainly progresses the character of Tony Stark and plops him into a new world from the one he inhabited in the first one. Tony tries to be a good guy superhero but he really struggles with it. He's so arrogant and self-righteous it's hard sometimes, at least in the beginning, to see who the audience should truly root for. It was also great to watch him verbally spar back in forth with his right hand lady Pepper Potts (Gwyneth Paltrow). They are like an old married couple, classic. Now to some this may be a spoiler so I just want to alert you now if you haven't seen the film to gloss over this part but-- SPOILER!!!!One of my favorite scenes of the film is when Tony, drunk on his own power literally and figuratively decides to don his Iron Man armor and blow stuff up for laughs at one of his parties. On first glance it seems goofy as he stumbles around the room wearing his armor but the subtext is unavoidable, it's like a drunk behind the wheel of a tank. So of course his responsible friend Rhodey has to suit up in a spare Iron Man outfit and put him down before he hurts somebody. This is truly what makes Iron Man/Tony Stark different from any of the other Marvel heroes. No matter how many villains you throw at the guy he will always be his own worst enemy. This scene has shades of one of the more popular episodes of the Iron Man comic where Tony Stark battles alcoholism in Demon in a Bottle. They don't come right out and say it but it is clear that this kind of behavior is not behind him but looking him squarely in the eye. Perhaps in Iron Man 3.What a great group of actors and characters they threw into this flick. Sam Rockwell was hilarious and a little sad as the, not so smart used car salesman, version of Tony Stark. It was also nice to see Nick Fury get a little arc that proves to get even bigger as the series continues ramping up to an Avengers film. I know some people were annoyed with the references to the big Avengers flick that should take place in a few years, but I thought it fit in well. Speaking of which there are a ton of Easter Eggs in this one, so all I'll say is pay attention to the surroundings when Tony is talking with Nick Fury in the bunker. Also there is some stuff when he's getting a verbal smack down from Agent Coulson (Clark Gregg). So keep your eyes peeled. I also enjoyed watching Scarlett Johansson flip around in tight spandex as the Black Widow. I wasn't sure if she could handle a bad ass role like this but she proved she ain't no Jinx (Halle Berry). What can I say watching Don Cheadle suit up as War Machine kicking ass side by side with Iron Man was pretty frickin sweet. Also I was surprisingly satisfied with Mickey Rourke's Ivan Vanko. Personally he would not have been my first choice for the film, I'm not a Mickey hater but I'm not a fan either, what's the deal with the cockatoo Mick? Birds aside, he really brought some layers to his performance and brought some true menace and Khan like rage to amp up the action. Although I have to admit I had some mixed feelings about the over the top action sequence at the Monaco racetrack. It was cool to watch even though it went above and beyond any semblance of reality.So, if you haven't seen it yet go out and see it now. It's a really fun, well written summer blockbuster. Yes I understand the haters cry that there still aren't enough scenes with Iron Man blowing shit up. If you want a stupid giant robot blowing things up go rent Transformers . But if you want some great characters with depth telling a non-traditional comic book story with some great action pieces, then Iron Man 2 is your cup of tea. Oh, and one more thing AC/DC rocks the house.

Grade 4 Buckets

Kick-Ass

Now before I begin the review I want to iterate I have only read a few chapters of the first volume of the Kick-Ass comic book series. Not that it really matters, but from what I've read of the comic and now that I've seen the film, I can say they are pretty different at least in regard to the motivations of the characters. Which is a blessing in disguise, because to be honest, I didn't really love the comic all that much. I have the same problem with most of writer Mark Millar's original stuff. Not that his books aren't good it's just all of his lead characters are such colossal ass holes that it's hard to root or sympathize with anyone. Take for instance his Wes Gibson character from Wanted. You feel sorry for this guy in the beginning, but by the end Wes is such a dick that his kiss off on the last page kind of leaves you unsatisfied and angry. The same could be said for his Dave Lizewski, in Kick-Ass, he's a pathetic loser. When he decides to take the plunge into super hero territory he seems to be only led by his johnson. Which, at first, I can understand but after he gets his ass handed to him left and right I would think he would have thrown the suit away after the first stabbing. Unless he is just crazy, no one would take a constant beating just for a piece of ass. Also he suffers from similar dickhead-itis as Wes Gibson. So naturally I lost interest in the book. When I heard about the movie I just kind of shrugged but I will admit when the first few trailers started to surface my intrigue grew. Also the fact that Matthew Vaughn was directing gave me a lot of confidence. He's still relatively new to the director's chair but I've liked all of his efforts so far. Layer Cake was really fun and it totally set the stage for Daniel Craig to be Bond and I don't care what anyone says I kinda dug Stardust (You can see my review here). The Box Office numbers so far for Kick-Ass have been pretty lukewarm, I'm pretty surprised by that, but it's tough to break into a wide audience being that the flick is a hard R. And make no mistake it is a tough movie. I mean you have a 12 year old girl murdering bad guys and talking like a drunken sailor. The comparison's to Pulp Fiction should not be taken as an exaggeration, it's violent and no matter how colorful the costumes, this is not for kids.The film follows high school fan-boy Dave Lizewski (Aaron Johnson) as he mulls the decision to break away from his pathetic mundane life and do something truly risky--put on a green wetsuit and mask and become a superhero. He calls himself Kick-Ass, although he has no powers and no apparent fighting skill, he tries to make a difference by standing up when others shrink. He inadvertently starts a superhero craze on Youtube which encourages others with far more skill to hit the streets against crime. Like Big Daddy (Nicholas Cage) and his daughter/sidekick Hit Girl (Chloe Moretz). The dynamic duo put Mafia boss man Frank D'Amico (Mark Strong) and his goons in the hurt locker. Which eventually puts Kick-Ass square in the middle of Mafia retaliation. If you listen closely Cage does a hilarious riff of Adam West's 60's Batman. Also his comic flashback mid-way through the film is truly awesome. You gotta give Cage credit for bouncing back after the silliness that was Bangkok Dangerous and Knowing. The movie is fast and funny with a sharp edge. Vaughn outdoes himself as director keeping a good pace as he ratchets up the tempo to the big finale. Unlike the comic I found I really liked Dave even though he was pathetic his heart was in the right place and you can see him become a man throughout the course of the story. The first hour and a half are brutal and hyper-realistic as he tries to fight crime and literally gets the beat down of his life. He truly is the Peter Parker character except he isn't as smart and, of course, he doesn't have powers. The one thing they do share is a compulsion to walk the streets in spandex. I wish we could have seen more of his two comic book buddies Marty (Clark Duke) and Todd (Evan Peters), especially Clark Duke, this guy is really funny, (see Hot Tub Time Machine and Sex Drive.) unfortunately they are relegated to the sidelines for most of the movie. Now as much as I enjoyed Hit Girl and her ability to kick the ass of just about everyone she comes in contact with, I just felt it didn't always match with the hard reality theme they were working with in the beginning. Granted Kick-Ass has no formal training and this girl has but I just felt the combo of the two themes didn't quite work for me. Now you can say it was a progression from the real life to comic book story, but that really doesn't sound that interesting to me. I also was disappointed a bit with Mark Strong's D'Amico. It would have been great if they made him a bit more realistic instead of the same old stereotype of the Mafia. It would have been interesting if he was in the Tony Soprano mold, made him a bit more charismatic. I think it would have certainly added to the realism.Given the box office numbers it's unclear whether a sequel is a sure thing but they definitely set up the possibility for a Kick-Ass 2. I won't give anything away but it does involve the other superhero I hadn't gotten to yet, the Red Mist (Christopher Mintz-Plasse). Look he's still a little bit McLovin, but I think Plasse is stretching and if a sequel were to take place I would be curious to see how far he could take it. I really can't complain it's a well put together flick and if you haven't had a chance to see it do it soon. You will be mesmerized by Chloe Moretz, this kid is the real deal. She completely owns the role, there are times where you are wondering why the hell the film isn't called Hit-Girl.

Grade 4 Buckets

Clash of the Titans

Lately it's hard to tell when you are witnessing the beginning of the Summer extravaganza, mostly because they seem to start earlier and earlier every year. it's becoming clear that for 2010 it's gotta be Alice in Wonderland, just based on the massive box office total so far. After watching Clash of the Titans I'll be the first to tell you that they were trying really hard to be that vehicle, but I just don't think it gets there. I shall explain further but I do want to stress that there will BE SOME SPOILERS here!!!!!! I really don't want to but, Director Louis Letterer and Warner Brothers are forcing my hand. They made, what was supposed to be, a visually stunning story about Greek Mythology but it turns into an angry revenge movie riddled with plot holes and major character gaffes. There isn't anything wrong with taking certain liberties with a story, I understand it, but when you change a classic story so much it becomes unrecognizable it might just be best to change the names and call it something else, cause that's really what they do here.Perseus (Sam Worthington), as a young child is found by a simple Fisherman and is raised as one. Years later his new family becomes collateral damage when some rebellious soldiers decide to desecrate the statue of Zeus invoking the wrath of Zeus' bad little brother Hades (Ralph Fiennes). So adopted Mom, Pop and Sis bite it sending young Perseus into his quest to somehow find a way to kill the Gods. That's pretty much about it. It is revealed that Perseus is a demi-god, the son of Zeus (Liam Neeson), and that only he can stop Hades from destroying Argos with his super-weapon the Kracken.I'll be the first to tell you I have a soft place in my heart for the 80's cheezetastic version of the same name. In that story Perseus was a bit of a dandy, the acting was a bit rough in spots when it wasn't chewed in others. But the story they told had drama and conflict, and a whole lot of heart. This flick tries so hard to be hard edged, but the script is stupid and as I said before they fuck up the already established mythology. Perseus is a pissed off fisherman looking to get his revenge on, if he saves a few innocent folk along the way, then yippie we can slap a hero sticker on Perseus and move on. Now I've seen Sam Worthington in a few big action flicks (Avatar & Terminator 4) and I was warming up to the guy. But he took some major steps back for me in this movie. His Perseus is just a boring and predictable piece of cardboard, he whines a lot. But on the bright side, he's definitely tougher than Harry Hamlin's Perseus. If that was the Filmmakers only goal, then they succeeded. I think this is where the idea to remake something goes horribly wrong because instead of making a better, more complete film the filmmakers seem more intent on fixing the perceived flaws from the original. There are some references to the original, like the Stigen Witches and the various monsters from the Kracken to the scorpions and there is a throw away cameo for the mechanical owl Bubo. Sure the creatures look nice but again there doesn't seem to be any personality here. It's all paint by numbers plotting.The original Clash of the Titans also took many liberties with the original myth but they kept the main element of the story of Perseus and Andromeda (Alexa Davalos) in tact. Not so here, for some reason they felt they needed to add another chick to the mix in IO, played by the very capable (and hot) Gemma Arterton, the only problem is they don't do anything with it. Love triangle? Nope. Perseus, when he isn't angry at the gods falls for IO and when Andromeda practically throws herself at him in the end, he says nah, don't need ya. Wha???? Which classical mythological story are you telling here? Which begs my original question --if you want to change the established romance between Perseus and Andromeda, why not just use different characters altogether? But if you do want to be bold and change it up then why keep the big dramatic sequence to save some chick, Perseus could give two shits about, from the Kracken? I guess it's nice that he wants to risk his life going to the underworld to save a pretty girl, but it just doesn't make any sense. If he just wants to get revenge on Hades he should do what every other character does in this movie when they feel bold enough to stand up to the Gods, insult him. Then he can show up, Perseus can get that lightening bolt from Zeus, and then he can send his raggedy ass back to Hell, why all the elaborate setup? But that would be a question for the director Louis Letterer who apparently decided to change the story. He apparently didn't understand why anyone would kill the Kracken for love. Um, ok --but he makes the admission that he thought this when he was 8 years old. Ok, that makes much more sense, except that once you got old enough, or you know once his balls dropped, then you would probably understand why Perseus would do such a thing. Apparently that concept is just over his head.The other problem is the Gods themselves. I think it's great that they have Ralph Fiennes and Liam Neeson as Hades and Zeus but after a few minutes it's clear that they're actions are only there to keep the story moving. Zeus wants to make an example of Calibos/ Acrisius by knocking up his wife without him knowing it. When C/A gets angry at the big God in the sky, Zeus shoves a lightening bolt up his ass. But later in the story Zeus acts surprised that he has a bastard son, why not just establish he does this kind of thing all the time, that way he doesn't look like a dumb ass for forgetting. Also it makes no sense at all why Acrisius becomes Calibos all of a sudden--they are two different characters in the original Mythology and the 80's film, now once Acrisius is struck down he becomes Calibos? Why the name change? That makes no damn sense. Another thing that makes no sense is how Perseus becomes an experienced fighter. Supposedly he has never picked up a weapon his entire life, he's a Fisherman, which they like to remind us over and over again. But as soon as he has his first training session with Draco (Mads Mikkelsen) he gets the better of the more experienced Draco after a few minutes and the explanation from Draco is, "You have a God in you." What the hell is that? Hey Louis, you couldn't have had a montage at the beginning where Perseus took a few days or weeks to train? It could have been literally one minute or less. But as usual with this film, they just took the lazy way with a simple throw away line to explain the impossible.As far as the technical aspect of the film goes it ain't too bad. The Scorpions, Medusa the Kracken the demon things they all looked pretty cool. But because I didn't really care much about the characters I couldn't really feel the suspense or the scare of what the creatures were doing. Also I want to add that I did not see this in 3-D. I had heard from way to many reliable sources that it just looked like utter shit. Which I'm not surprised since I heard they made the half ass conversion at the last minute to raise the ticket price. After looking at the box office it's either bad word of mouth or the NCAA's that see them drop off on Saturday. I don't buy it. No one was watching Duke kick West Virginia's ass or Michigan State blow it to Butler. I think the bad buzz on the 3-D was affecting repeat performance and I think it's going to continue into next week. And it should, honestly, this is what happens when Hollywood continues to remake movies with lazy writing and directing. (Despite the flaws the film still made over 60 million this weekend.) They love the originals but they don't seem to understand or care why they work. They have, as my friend Ben told me, no sense of whimsy. That's supposedly what they hate so much from the original, so they decided to make it ultra serious. Which is why it now is more silly and irrelevant than the original. You have to have a little goofiness in these kinds of movies it's just the way it works.In closing if you want to see some decent CGI with some truly great Character actors trying to make the best of this turd, then by all means go and see it. But I would avoid the 3-D if I were you it may only make it more painful.

Grade: 1 and half buckets

CGI Grade: 2 and a half buckets

Fess Parker 1924 - 2010

Lately I've been pretty nostalgic for movies and shows I loved as a kid, mostly, so I can brainwash my son into loving the same stuff his old man was into. Hey don't blame me every parent does it! One of those things was Davy Crockett. I was home over Christmas and my Mom found my old coonskin cap I got from Disney World when I was like 6 or so. I gave it to my son and now he only wears it when he watches the Buckskin pioneer. On a regular basis we sing the King of the Wild Frontier song and let me tell you he knows every word by heart. So it was kind of sad to hear that the actor who played one my beloved heroes as a kid had died.Nathan watching Davy Crockett

Fess Parker, known for his roles as Davy Crockett and Daniel Boone, died of natural causes, he was 85 years old. My wife found out about this while driving to the store with the little one in tow. She caught him singing the Davy Crockett song, at first she thought it was a little out of the blue, usually when he is with my wife he sings songs in Hebrew. So that's when she realized that the show on NPR she was listening to was doing a tribute to Fess Parker. They were interviewing folk who grew up as kids in the 50's and 60's and they were sharing their memories of Davy Crockett and of course singing the famous tune. (If you haven't seen the original Disney classic, you might have gotten a taste of it, if you listened closely, in Back to the Future when Marty enters the cafe for the first time in 1955.)Davy Crockett was my first glimpse at the history of this country and how legends were made. It also revealed the courage of a young country looking to expand while showing compassion to the native people whose land this truly was. Was Davy Crockett the real life savior of the Native Americans? That isn't so clear, it is a legend after all. But Fess Parker's Davy Crockett teaches a valuable lesson to kids of all shapes and sizes that all people deserve to be treated as human beings no matter who they are or what they look like. And if you give your word you better damn honor it.Mr. Parker, You will always be remembered and Davy Crockett will be watched by current and future Marvins this I can guarantee.