Saturday, October 31, 2009

The Top Ten Most Underrated Movie Villains - 1. The Kurgan


- Sketch by Ori Ayalon

1). The Kurgan (Highlander): "Ramirez was an effete snob! He died on his knees. I took his head and raped his woman before his blood was even cold!"

Jeff Marvin: There Can be only ONE bad ass immortal and as much as I love the Highlander, Connor McCloud, it ain't him. The Kurgan, played by Clancy Brown is well...You read his quote. The ultimate warrior, if they had steroids back in the olden days of Scotland, I would've said that Kurgan was on some of that Balco crap. He has this deep dark voice and those crazy eyes, he's a madman I tell you. On top of that he can live forever and the only way you can get this psycho out of your life is to take a giant sword from the Middle Ages and slice his noggin off. When he isn't killing other Immortals, The Kurgan enjoys a nice drive in the country with Grandma on the hood of the car he just stole. He wags his tongue at her hoping that when she loses her grip that she'll get sucked underneath his Michelins. Crazy Bastard.

Well that is our top ten Underrated Movie Villains, hope everyone enjoyed our choices and these great sketches to go with them. We want to hear from you about what you think, let us know in the comments section below! Have a great Halloween!

The Top Ten Most Underrated Movie Villains - 2. The Frattellis


- Sketch by Ian Glaubinger

4). The Fratellis (The Goonies): “The only thing we serve here is tongue! You boys like tongue?”

Cody Dee Williams: Before we fell in love with The Sopranos, we fell in love with The Fratellis – Mama, Jake, and Francis. The Fratellis put the funk in dysfunctional, a family so warped and twisted that they keep their deformed hulk of a son/brother Sloth chained up in their basement. Yes, it’s a kid’s movie! Led by sociopathic matriarch Mama, played by the gifted character actress Anne Ramsey, with her two favorite boys by her side, dimwitted Jake (Robert Davi) and weasely Francis (Joey Pants), they viciously chase our heroes The Goonies through the cavernous maze of boobie traps and pit falls in search of One-Eyed Willie’s hidden treasure. Over the course of the movie, The Fratellis store a man they’ve murdered in their freezer, threaten to puree a fat kid’s hand, and make a tied-up young girl walk the plank. Yeah, they could use some serious family counseling.

Jen Huber: A scary bunch of characters if I've ever seen them! The epic movie that was the Goonies would not have had the fun it ending it did without the help of the Frattellis. With their scowls and all around bad behavior. They are a good group of foes for the Goonies on their big adventure. I think they are all individually terrifying and I absolutely wouldn't want to be stuck in an old abandoned house with them!

Jeff:
Scary? You haven't seen scary until you've seen Anne Ramsey's miserable bitch Mama Frattelli hard charging down a creepy tunnel grunting like a pissed off bull. Not to mention putting poor Chunk's hand in a blender in order to get him to talk. Her two boys Francis and Jake are a bit twisted sure and they are just plain terrible to their little bro Sloth, but neither one of them got nothing on Mama!

Friday, October 30, 2009

The Top Ten Most Underrated Movie Villains - 3. Cobra Kai


- sketch by Ed Flagg

3). The Cobra Kai (The Karate Kid): “We do not train to be merciful here. Mercy is for the weak. Here, in the streets, in competition: A man confronts you, he is the enemy. An enemy deserves no mercy.”

Cody Dee Williams: Sensei John Kreese and his punk minions Johnny, Bobby, Tommy, Jimmy, & Dutch – The Cobra Kai. A buncha bullies clad in black Gis, The Cobra Kai viewed Karate as a weapon, instead of an art. Of course they were just a misguided band of angry teenagers, led down the wrong path by militaristic dickhead of a sensei John Kreese, played with wrathful brilliance by Martin Kove. Unfortunately for skinny Jersey kid Daniel Larusso (Ralph Macchio), he falls in love with the wrong girl at the wrong time, and proceeds to have his ass handed to him on a plate for about 120 minutes of a 127 minute film. Eventually, good karate triumphs over evil karate and everyone goes home happy. Props to Billy Zabka, who plays the Cobra Kai leader Johnny, for selling one hell of a crane kick to the face. Stuntmen are for the WEAK!

Jen Huber: What a bunch of jerks! I remember watching this movie and hating these guys! Sure, they are pretty good at karate, but to bully Daniel-san, c-mon! Also, how epic was that final fight?! The bully in black and Daniel in white, very clear cut. The Cobra Kai are the ultimate school bullies!

Jeff: You have three possible categories in High School, you are either a victim, an invisible or, like the Cobra Kai, a dickheaded Bully. Oh, and they play it so well! Johnny, and his band of mostly white trust-fund babies getting their kicks off of terrorizing the new kid from Jersey, and if I remember correctly they handed Danny boy quite a few beat downs until Miyagi got into the action. But lets be honest the kid had it coming to him--who dresses up like a fricking shower for Halloween? Billy Zabka made his bones playing jerks in high school and of course his Johnny is at the top of the list. Which makes the Crane Kick to the face that much more satisfying. Kudos to Mr. Zabka for making it look so fracking real--I mean come on it totally looked like Macchio tagged him, try watching in slow mo--you just can't friggin tell! But in then end it's that scary mo-fo John Kreese played by the total badass Martin Kove that ties Cobra Kai together. He's ruthless, he's crazy and he will kill without mercy.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

The Top Ten Most Underrated Movie Villains - 4. Prince Humperdinck & Count Rugen

- Sketch by Ori Ayalon

4). Prince Humperdinck & Count Rugen (The Princess Bride):
“Tyrone, you know how much I love watching you work, but I've got my country's 500th anniversary to plan, my wedding to arrange, my wife to murder and Guilder to frame for it; I'm swamped.”

“Get some rest. If you haven't got your health, you haven't got anything.”

Cody Dee Williams: And the award for Best Closet Gay Evil Duo in a Children’s Fantasy Film goes to… Prince Humperdinck and Count Rugen in The Princess Bride!!! Chris Saradon plays the fiendishly foppish Prince Humperdinck and Christopher Guest plays his number two, the cold hearted Count Rugen. I know this is a little bit of a cheat, since there are two of them, but they’re really like Peanut Butter and Jelly. You can’t have one without the other and together they are delicious… deliciously evil that is!

Jeff: War! What is it good for--for Prince Humperdinck it's all about the elaborate ploy to dupe poor Guilder into yet another one. Having his wife-to-be kidnapped, then killed, while framing your worst enemy for the caper is super hard work, but these two do it in style. You've got the effete snob in Humperdinck, who thinks he knows everything, played pitch perfect by Chris Sarandon. Then you have the quiet, yet dasterdly six-fingered man, Count Rugen, played wonderfully by Christopher Guest. You thought Dick Cheney was bad, Rugen enjoys water torture just as much, but even he wasn't willing to take the machine up to 50, that honor goes to the Prince. What a couple of bastards they are!

The Top Ten Most Underrated Movie Villains - 5. Janosz Poha

Sketch by Ori Ayalon


05). Dr. Janosz Poha (Ghostbusters II): "Let me tell you something here, there are many perks in being the mother of a living god. I'm sure we could get a magnificent apartment, car, free parking..."

Jeff: Yes Ghostbusters II, got a problem with that? Janosz Poha, as played by Peter MacNichol is brilliantly funny, and as we will establish delightfully evil. Janosz is the funny smelling little museum curator who lives on the Upper Vest side of NY. He also has a creepy obsession with Dana Barrett and once he has been possesed by Vigo his eyes act like a spine chilling set of high beams, he flies and honestly looks like the scariest Au pair I have ever seen. He is also a hilarious foil for Bill Murray's Venkman. Say what you want about Vigo and the general plot for Ghostbusters II but leave Dr. Poha alone for you are like the buzzing of flies to him.

Cody Dee Williams: I think Ghostbusters II is an incredibly funny film - as funny as the first... yeah, I said it. And I stand by that statement. Come on... World of the Psychic? Louis in court?!? DR. JANOSZ POHA?!?!? He's little, he's awkward , and he's apparently from somewhere in Eastern Europe. Scene stealer Peter MacNichol plays baby stealer Poha with a hilariously creepy zeal. And who would have ever imagined that Stingo from Sophie's Choice would be able to hold his comedic own with the likes of Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd and, of course, Ernie Hudson?

Jen Huber: Seriously I would like to meet the person who can honestly say they weren't even a little unsettled by Nanny Janosz. When he came upon Oscar in his black and white creepy girl/guy glory and went Stretch Armstrong to grab Oscar off the ledge of the building - that was scary. Even before he absorbed powers from Vigo, he was that weird outsider guy with a crazy accent. One of the genius parts about Janosz is how he can go from crazy social grace lacking work guy, to powerful evil minion, to an oddly lovable slime covered goober. It's madness that one man has so many sides! Vigo the Carpathian might have had the lock on the intimidating face but that movie wouldn't have even come close to its greatness (yeah I said it) without Janosz.